As we gather for either Passover or Easter we are reminded of the importance of family in our lives. As in my poem, Spring, I mainly focus on mothers. This poem is about the many mothers I have had and my way of honouring them.

Who's My (Real) Mom

"She is not your REAL mom
she just gave birth to you
'Twas I that spent all night and day
Through measles, cold, and flu"

At first this seemed to satisfy
The curious little child
But in later years this quandry
Would almost drive me wild

Soon she was old enough to assk
"How did I come to be?
Did I grow inside your tummy?
How was it you picked me?"

"Alas I was unable
To have kids of my own
So I signed up with the agency
And then sat by the phone

One day there came that special call
We've a perfect child for you
She's oh so cute and full of life
And she's only turning two!"

Who's tummy did I come out of?
Was it from my Foster Mom?
Was it from her body I was born?
NO! You mean I have a THIRD Mom!

"But I'm the only one who counts
For I've been here all along
The others must take their place
In the past where they belong."

What do I think about them?
What is it that I feel?
They who went out of my life
Why imply that they're unreal?

"This is my understanding
Of what I knew to be true
We got you from your Foster Mom
But you had a Birth Mom too."

Both of them did love me?
But both gave me away!
Maybe the problem lies with me
That they did not want me to stay?

If they were not my REAL moms
Is not part of ME unreal?
Do you have any idea
How confused this makes me feel?

How can it be, are opposites both true?
Did I ever grieve those that I lost?
Did I not exist before the age of two?
Secrets kept, no matter what the cost?

How could you really expect me
To believe accounts you told?
They were nothing more than fairy tales
All my fears were put on hold

A child can't deal with endless worry
Scary thoughts, feelings suppressed!
"When I become a mature adult
The answers will not be repressed!"

If only I could have known
More than what I know today
My confidence and sense of worth
Would not have been thrown away

I want you all to understand
Those words cut like a knife
ALL of these mothers are genuine
ALL had a role in my life

They ALL make up a part of me
Of the person I've become
Let me cherish each relationship
For I love them, EVERY ONE!


Love
Pam

I do pray your writing talents get to the many children and adults in need of seeing how to deal and overcome certain areas of life . You write from the heart and with such emphasis .Thank you for sharing your writing here . I do so appreciate your hard work.


God bless you , Pam and keep you strong.



Julie

An absolutely brilliant insight and you are so right - the way you feel. For someone who can write so naturally poetic about their experiences means they are a person who will question deeply every stage of their lives.
We all have hearts we'd like to empty but your heart, Pam, is full to overflowing. I think any one of us who reads this are by your side. Maybe not much comfort but if I can speak for the rest of us, you have our deepest thoughts and support.
Rusty

Dear Julie and Rusty, thanks for your kind words. Yes, I have always felt like a very loving soul and was surprised when it didn't seem to be retuned. The cover page for my poetry reads - Through the eyes of an adopteee: On the healing journey, Poems of Inspiration and Hope. I would love to be able to reach out to others who may be wwhere I have been and help. Sometimes I wonder if I am really just an earthly angel !?

Lovingly Yours
Pam