Alice and all ,

I can't stand myself.

One would think that I would be happy that I finished my manuscript for book two, but alas , I am filled to the gills with grumps.

You see - now I have placed myself in
((((( THE BIG WAIT STAGE ))))).

I am a Christian woman and therefore will refrain from what one could posssibly say about this stage.

Please post funny stuff here. Tickle me .

I need a good tickle.( no, no -- stop- pick up your mind that just fell into the gutter)

OK - Much better.

That's all.

Looking forward to some funnies ...even one . Be nice to me !! SEND IN A FUNNNYYYYYYY!


Love,

Julie

Head's too full to think of much funny stuff.


Here's a silly one - why is six afraid of seven?


Because seven eight nine.


Now that just looks dumb in black and white!!


I'm sure somebody else can do better than that, and if I think of anything, I'll come back.


Love and Big Hugs,

Alice

Phone rings ………………


Hello – Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith and Smith Soliciitors – How may I help you?

Can I speak to Mr Smith?

No – he’s on holiday.

Can I speak to Mr smith?

No – he’s taking a client out to lunch.

Can I speak to mr Smith?

No – he’s off sick.

Can I speak to Mr Smith?

No – he’s attending a conference.

Can I speak to Mr Smith?

Yes – speaking ………………………………………..

Well, I've got a few (just hope you're not blonde )

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
...
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
RUN! SHE'S GOT A GRENADE IN HER MOUTH!

What do you can ten blones in a circle?
A dope ring.
...
What do you can ten blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

Why did the blonde has TGIF written on her shoes?
Toes-Go-In-First...

What'd the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.

-----------------------

So there's a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette, walking along the beach of an island they've been stranded on for years; when suddenly, the blonde stubs her toe on a shiny metal object in the sand. The brunette picks it up and rub the dust off it's face when suddenly, a genie appears. "I may grant you three wishes... One each." he turns to the redhead "You?" She replies immediately "I wish I was home with my family and friends!" "Done." he replies, and snaps his fingers, poof! she's gone. He turns to the brunette "You?" She too replies immediately "I wish I was home with my family and friends!" "Done." he replies, and snaps his fingers, poof! she's gone. He turns to the blonde who's now bawling her eyes out, and says "What's wrong?" and she replies, through sobs... "I WISH MY FRIENDS WERE STILL HERE!"

Good morning everyone and thank you!

They all did the trick. The funny medicine always works.


Rusty Smith , thank you very much. That was good.

I loved the blonde jokes - very funny!Especially the grenade ones. I need to share a few of those.

Alice - I still chuckled at yours which I may have heard that one from my daughter recently. It's cute and it worked.

With Love,

Julie

I made up my own blonde joke years ago:

Why are there so many dumb blondes?

All the brunettes who were dumb enough to believe that dying their hair could change their lives!

I'm a brunette, but like to keep a balance. Not ALL blondes are dumb!

Thanks, I appreciated and laughed at all your jokes too. I'm still coming down from finishing that beast of a biography, and dealing with the effects of yesterday's massive email I sent out to hundreds of people - with my phone number wrong!! The last number should be a 5, not a 4, in case anyone of you ever wants to call me. Duh!! And I'm a brunette! I'm considering this not a Freudian Slip, but a Hermiting Slip - I couldn't believe I gave out my phone number in the first place! Just dye my hair and call me Blondie!!!

Love and Laughter to All,

Alice

if there are any job openings there ?

I think I have the qualifications ...