I was almost 2 years old when I was adopted and left my foster home and family to live with my new mommy and daddy. Because everyone seemed happy I hid my real feelings. It took me almost 50 years before I could tap into those feelings again and write about what that little 2 year old child felt and thought about that momentous day. I am sure these thoughts and feelings are shared by most older adoptees.


Given Away

"You're going to a new home
You're going there today
They're going to love you so much"
That's what I heard her say

She sounded oh so cheerful
Like this is something good
It seems I should be happy
I think you thought I would

I'm going to live with strangers
And they live far away
You say that they'll be nice to me
But I just want to stay

You used to say you loved me
But now I'm filled with fear
Did I do something wrong
That you don't want me here?

I thought we'd be together
Forever and always
Explain to me the reason
We must be parting ways

I thought that we belonged
Together all our days
But then you said to go with them
You so easily gave me away

Oh, how my heart is breaking
I'm puzzled and confused
If you can do this thing to me
Can not THEY do it too?

Goodbye to all that I hold dear
My tears are coming fast
I think that I might actually die
Will this feeling ever pass?

How can I ever trust again?
Why must this torture be?
Can I believe the words I'm told
When THEY say they love me?

I feel like a possession
Just passed from hand to hand
But I'm a living, feeling being
I just can't understand

That I could just be given away
Abandoned and rejected
Like some old piece of furniture
You hardly seemed affected

You were not worthy of my love
I tell myself once more
To have given it away so easily
Is that all it's good for?

So very many years have passed
And still I sit and wonder
My curious Inner Child just asked
Is giving (being given) really better?

You certainly do you have finger on the feelings of Adoptees, Pam! You should find a message board for Adoptees somewhere online and share these poems through there too. I'm sure they'd be very deeply appreciated!!

Great work, my friend!

I just saw your message in my Guest Book! Thanks!

Love and Big Hugs,

Alice

Very powerful again Pam. Do we ever become anything other than children?