The Perfect Crime

The mental abuse stars early
Their aim, program the mind
Ignite the desire to please
Make strong the ties that bind

She is taught to be a "good girl"
Obedient and shy
Keeping worries to herself
She always wonders WHY?

Without the means of self-support
Her fate lies in their hands
Loneliness and sacrifice
Is what she understands

Never knowing she has choices
And frozen in despair
A battered and bruised psyche
Sees danger everywhere

No witness to her suffering
No outward scars to show
Broken heart and shattered soul
Only her depression grows

Warning signs have gone unnoticed
Could death be any worse?
Treated as if an outcast
Confirms that she is cursed

3 groups to please, 3 sets of rules
Her parents, teachers, peers
Daily prayers of acceptance
Answered with taunts and jeers

Lonely, confounded, and confused
The teen puts up thick walls
Convinced that she's unlovable
Shame thrives in soundproof halls

Desolate and vulnerable
She's hyper-vigilant
No safe haven anywhere
No voice with which to rant

Adulthood brings new challenges
Adds to her stressed-out core
Haunting childhood memories
Soul-deep hurts still sore

A Ph.D. in Suffering,
In Sacrifice, and Rage
Her MA is in Torment
Wounds deepening with age

Though abusers are long gone
She hears them in her dreams
The little child inside her
Resorts to silent screams

No crime-scene to investigate
They know not what they've done
Torture went undetected
No love from anyone

Their punishment is what she needs
Can never be attained
Dissociated pieces
Are all that has remained



I started this poem last year, in Oct. /04 and because of the emotions involved, it took me almost a year to complete it. And, yes, it is MY story.

You've once again taken a painful subject and put it into poetry in an excellent way, Pam! Great work!!

Good to see you around here, my dear - you can stop by and talk even if you don't have anything to post here, you know.

Thanks for posting this one, I'm sure it will help others who have experienced similar childhood troubles.

Love and Big Hugs,

Alice