I am glad I asked because I can now tell you that I was EXACTLY the same way!!
So my PG started out textbook and thankfully has remained as such and fingers crossed, will remain as such. By textbook I mean every blood test and every u/s showing exactly what it was supposed to be showing. And keep in mind that I was having u/s since 5W1D! So you want to talk about a play by play?! I have so many u/s pics from early on that I could teach a class on early embryo development! LOL!
BUT despite all that factual good news...I didn't have any of the "normal" PG symptoms at all. In fact, I was often a mess because I'd read all this material that was definitive on "in your early weeks you feel this and you feel that and you will see this and you will see that." I barely had ANY of those "standard" symptoms and at times wanted to rip my hair out.
I kept telling my Cooper nurse "I'm pregnant because you say so, not because I feel it."
And imagine how I felt when I had to travel to Europe just before turning 7 weeks and didn't return until 8 weeks. I could have DIED while I was away. Some days I was distracted but most early mornings I lay awake in bed thinking and desperately wanting a sign that everything was OK. And I was so certain that the airplane ride would finally trigger my morning sickness that before I left I asked the OB if he could clear me for using Reglan. Needless to say, I never got around to needing it. All I really felt on the trip was exhaustion and hunger at odd hours, but quite frankly those are things I feel every trip to Europe. My body always gets thrown off but this time around I was trying to slice and dice if the "thrown off" was due to PG or due to normal jetlag/adjustment I experience.
I know that at one point I convinced myself that the fact that I was still having a GREAT bowel movement every day was a sign that things were NOT good. It made no sense to me AT ALL that despite the fact that my body was producing P4 on its own, and that I was taking Crinone, 400 mg of supps and 200 mg of Prometrium daily, that I had no constipation. So many experience constipation but not me! In fact, I always experienced constipation on P4 support but not this time. Rather than being happy about remaining regular I chose to think of it as something to worry about it.
And every time I wiped after peeing I would examine the tissue as closely as a POAS! I was desperately searching for the faintest hint of spotting. After all, spotting can be normal but it can also signal miscarriage. Regardless, I never had the tiniest speck of anything.
I googled a million times over to find early signs of m/c. I even considered posting on the boards for someone to please tell me what they felt before they miscarried. (I never did because sanity set in and I realized that was just too far off the deep end) It didn't help that I myself had experienced a miscarriage 2 years earlier and back then had experienced the "sudden loss of symptoms". Now, there were days that I swore that I was no longer PG because I didn't have symptoms and since I'd experience that once before already then I must be right this time around too.
Just so many circles of insanity playing over and over and over in my head. And for me I think it was worse because I wasn't out on the boards yet with my PG and I wasn't out to ANY family and friends. I was in this abyss for weeks and weeks all by myself with DH. One day around the 10th / 11th week I went food shopping and pulled in the Whole Foods parking lot and bawled my eyes out convinced I had miscarried or was in the process of miscarrying. It wasn't a "I'm worried about what could happen" type of sob. It was an "OMG my baby is dead" lunatic bawling. It was really bad and if it wasn't for the fact that in between clearing my eyes of the pools of tears I noticed a woman sitting in a car across, facing me, I would have probably sat there for hours. My embarrassment got to me and I somehow composed myself and went in the market. Meanwhile, I truly had not reason to think this...I simply chose to think this despite my nurse's reassurances.
IT IS TRUE INSANITY. I had all those years of disappointment sitting on me and I just couldn't believe that I was on the other side of some miracle.
All I can say is that I swear
it gets better. I know it's unimaginable right now, but you will come to a point where you can actually enjoy all of this and settle into being pregnant.
Just continue eating your fruits, drink lots of water, take your prenatals, don't miss a dose of P4, rest when you need to and put all the clocks and calendars away.
I do think that once Tuesday comes you will be able to bring the insanity down one notch. I promise!! And stay away from the "internets"...just not this board.