I am guilty of holding my two a lot
. I know a few tricks to get baby used to the crib but as you know, it's hard to create a love for the crib
This will be gradual and it depends on personality, some are just very social and need to be with someone most of their day.
Once asleep and you suspect a heavy sleep, test it by lifting an arm and see if it falls/flops down. If it doesn't, guaranteed baby will wake up as you shift him to his bed.
Next, you bend right over with him close, gently lay him in the crib and stay bent over him with as much contact as you can (tricky with a c-sec and hopefully you have one a crib that has an adjustable mattress height--some don't, like an Ikea crib) and slowly extract your arms and then your body.
It's tricky and it does help if you put a shirt of yours that you wore near him or lay him on it, warm it up first but that is tricky too, all one armed but easy enough to warm up, tuck it around you as you nurse him.
That method worked most times with me but I can't tell you how often I managed to do that and thought I'd succeeded only to turn away, rushing for the washroom and hear some rustling and then crying. It can be very demoralizing.
The other tip is: once baby is fully sleeping (that in itself is a trick, my DS never really slept deeply enough to shift over to his bed except for maybe 2 out of 10 times, I had to readjust the way I saw things and only then did the stress level go down lol. He nursed every two hours around the clock in that first month, even with formula supplements; I had a supply issue) and you can shift him to his bed, as he wakes up in his bed, he'll eventually figure, oh, this is where I sleep. That's the theory at least. This sort of worked with my DS except only as an older baby who could understand words.
Don't worry so much about his grandparents "spoiling" him, there is no spoiling at this age
If you want my opinion, let him be held, chance are he's of the type of personality who needs to be held a lot anyways. It's a common...complaint? from new moms. You should go post a poll about that on the playgroup
Honestly, I was really stressed out about my DS not letting me put him down, sure he'd play a bit on the floor but I had to get him used to me leaving the room for a quick bathroom break. To this day (he's almost 8--!! how time flies, seriously, I still remember the mewling NB who kept nursing and crying and snoozing in my arms. My DH had to make me meals and sometimes feed me lol that was short lived, I mastered the one armed everything)
Do you have a sling? In a month you'll be loving your sling and getting normal stuff done and enjoying it and marvelling at why oh why don't they give these out at the hospital at discharge?? lol I have a pic of me carrying my DD to get some baking or dinner done (and I think it was also a pic to show how messy my kitchen is always now
) if I find it, I'll post it.
Also, if you want to feel ok about carrying your baby all the time, look up Dr Sears parenting books, he's the one who talks about attachment parenting.
Keep up with your water intake, sounds stressful with the sleep issues and you don't want the stress of nursing issues to come in
oh, and stay away from any sleep books if your DS seems like a no-sleeper. Go with his rhythms and accept stuff. It's hard though. Keep telling yourself that in a year, everything will be changed--happily and sadly.
It's all good as long as mama is happy
me:42, DH 43
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.