I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to offer support. I have decided to close all the books. I still might just read on the internet just to see where the LO should be developmentally but thats it. I know how much I love my LO. I will make mistakes as we all do. I wish I didn't give these feelings more than they are worth. Some days are tougher than other but I love when my LO one coos and smiles at me.