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Antonialisa (no login) Posted Jul 11, 2012 6:02 PM
I feel for you and I hope you are able to find some peace. I'm very sorry about your uncle. What a difficult time.
When I read your post yesterday I thought about a very moving anecdote in the introduction of a book by David Burns called Feeling Good. The author, a famous psychologist, worries his newborn son has brain damage and starts getting really stressed and upset and wigging out. Then a beautiful thing happens...so moving it still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I wish I could do this story justice, but please consider buying or borrowing this book! It will help you so much, I promise. It is essentially about managing anxiety.
Even if you don't want to get the book, I suggest you consider devoting some of your time and energy to learning how to better manage stress and anxiety. It will improve your quality of life. Chances are, your baby will be perfectly healthy and normal. But you will have lots of stress nonetheless. Babies get high fevers. Kids fall out of trees and sometimes go to the hospital. You need to be able not lose it every single time something stressful happens.
I hope you don't take this post the wrong way. I posted about this a long time ago, as you might remember. I have been through the whole depression/anxiety cycle myself and I'm much calmer and happier now, despite 3 years of IF! That's how I know that you can also be happier and calmer, no matter what life throws at you. I can tell that you are really, really suffering and I feel for you.
Please feel free to email me if you like at antonialisa.felice at gmail.com if you would like me to suggest more resources. I REALLY would like to help you.