Hi! Henry is doing great! He is 11 days old and he's breastfeeding like a champ (for the most part), rarely cries, and just gets cuter every day. Our only real issue is sleeping... He won't sleep in his bassinet. He did the first night at home for an hour here and there, but now he will only sleep in someone's arms pretty much. At night he falls asleep on my chest and if I try to put him down, he wakes up even from a deep slumber. So he ends up sleeping on me on the sofa between feedings for the most part and of course I, in my sleep-deprived state, end up falling asleep part of the time. I'm worried about the safety of this, although I am very aware of him the whole time I'm sleeping because I'm sleeping lightly. Safety issue is more that he is on his belly than rolling off since he's so small and can't roll yet. I'm also worried if I'm starting out with bad sleep habits. I realize he is only 11 days old so maybe none of this matters yet, but I wanted to get the advice of you moms. Anyone else have this experience? Ideas? Advice?

Thanks so much!
xx

Sleep issues are the biggest. That is why there are way too many books on that subject.

My DS was exactly like yours and reading those sleep books only depressed me because he wasn't textbook and I felt like a failure.

You'll have to find what works for you (also try post this question on the playgroup)

One piece of advice I can give you is if he can fall asleep on your bed with you next to him (he can be on his tummy, roll a receiving blanket at the front and behind him to stop him from rolling one way or the other and be sure to alternate sides. Once he's very well asleep, slowly slip away and try putting your worn shirt near his face or lay it down before laying him of it. Maybe that will help.

an another way to see if he's deeply asleep is lift his arm and drop it. If he doesn't stir from this, try putting him down. If he wakes up, try cooing, rubbing his belly to see if he settles. If he doesn't, pick him up and repeat the process.
There is a way to deposit them in a crib, gently, requiring being bent over and sloooowly coming away--only if the floppy arm test works.

With my DS, these methods worked sporadically and I finally gave up and lay with him for every nap and got reacquainted with my books again It was hard for me, especially with a household of mess or absolutely no me-time --this frustration came later and the guilt! I waited so long for my babies so it was hard to feel these emotions.

Hope this helps and feel free to keep asking questions. Do try the playgroup, just be sure to put warnings in the subject line (bf ment, baby ment, etc) You will find a wealth of help there

hugs and Congrats on the BF, it can be challenging for some. It was for me. Rememebr that there are growth spurts at 3 wks, 6wks, 3 mos etc. It's something to do with 3s, it's bizarre. So you may feel that suddenly he's nursing way more and maybe you arent making enough but you are, just drink your water (8-10 cups a day of fluid) and rest as much as you can and hang in there. He's simply increasing your supply.
Julie





me:41, DH 42
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My DS had the same problem-I had him fall asleep on me a few times (and then woke in panic when he would slip off of me), so didn't want to go that route. We ended up putting him in the carseat on the bed next to me (DH had to work so got to sleep on the basement couch-he loves that couch). That totally did the trick. I often had to wake him up to feed (so, so hate waking a sleeping baby). maybe it was something about the carseat being cozy, don't know. after about 6 weeks we put him in the bassinet on one of those positioner thingies b/c he was always a little stuffy and he slept there until 3 months and then had a very smooth transition (well, for him at least) to his crib in his room.

don't be afraid to try different things. he may just like to be up right after eating and that may help.

congrats and good luck! glad you are enjoying your little man!

Jill 35
TTC since 11/09ish
DS 2/6/08 (TTC ~ 1 year with only 3 Os!)
High FSH 28.7

Sleep has always been the toughest area for us. We bought and returned several items and ended up letting dd sleep in our bed for the first few weeks. I was paranoid the whole time. We took two top sheets and tucked them in at the bottom then DH and I each had our own sheet on either side of the baby. She seriously had 1/2 the bed to herself. I too have every book imaginable . . . I did a pick and choose method from each of the books and here's what worked for us:

Right away we swaddled her - it seemed if she had her arms wrapped tight to her body she would sleep better. I thought the HALO sleep sack newborn worked best for this.

@ 4-6 weeks we began to transition her to the pnp at the foot of our bed. We did a put down/pick up method from The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems. This is critical - it was DH who did it. Separating from me was too hard for dd. At first it took about 2hrs then gradually she was going to sleep sooner.

@ 2 mos we transitioned to the crib. I was prepared to gradually move the pnp down the hall but this transition was easier. Took 1 week - again it was DH that did it.

@ 4 mos we stopped swaddling

@ 5-6 mos she was sleeping 7-7. A little before her 2nd birthday is when 7-7 stopped and we had to make some adjustments.

Naps were always hard for us as well. I also liked the Baby Whisperer's E.A.S.Y. "schedule" and I used Weisblum's Heathly sleep habits happy child to follow the no longer than 2hrs in between naps in the beginning. So our "schedule" reset every 2 hrs roughly. Gradually went to 3 then 4 hrs. However, I did sleep with her on our bed for some naps in the beginning and sometimes she would nap on my chest in the afternoon. I figured a nap anywhere was better than no nap at all! You could probably find most of this info online. With my toddler, we still follow Weisblum, The sleep lady (has website), and Toddler 411. Good Luck!! When we got 7-7 sleep things got much easier.

ps the important person in all of this was DH, esp since I was bf -- that separation was very difficult. He still puts her to bed on many nights -- it's a nice way for them to bond. I didn't got back to work til 6mos but DH can survive on less sleep than me so he said it was okay. Though we both often saw deer during the day! Good Luck!! Feel free to email me if you have any other questions: [email protected] some people are obsessed with bf, some are obsessed with diapering, I was obsessed with sleep!!

Rebekah, 34
DH, 36
TTC#1 since Jan 2006
Nov 2006 1 round Clomid + IUI BFN
Feb 2007 1 round Femera (stalled cycle) BFN
New RE
July 2007 1 round Gonal F 225 (1 great follie) + IUI BFN
Aug 2007 1 round Gonal F 300 (1 follie almost stalled) +IUI BFN
Oct 2007 1 round clomid + low dose Gonal f + IUI (3 follies) BFP with 2!! (Sadly lost 1 baby at 13 weeks), delivered healthy baby girl at 37 weeks (June 2008).
TTC #1: Low/Hi FSH: 8.3/16.5; Yoga 3x/week, Reiki 1x/mo, Acupuncture pre/post, Mayan Fertility massage month prior BFP
TTC#2 since Jan 2010
Sept 2010 1 round clomid (no follie at day 10)
TTC#2 Low/Hi FSH: 22; intermittent yoga, acupuncture & mayan massage
New appt/cycle with Cooper 10/12/2010

We have this fabulous bassinet with all the bells and whistles and Loudon HATES it! Not only does he wake up after 10 minutes in it, he throws up all the time when he's laying down. Everything is always wet Our nights are so rough together and I sometimes think I'll have permanent brain damage from sleep deprivation. He falls asleep like a baby in my arms after breast feeding and it seems like an incredibly deep sleep and when I try to lay him down, he waits 10 minutes and seems to pretend to be sleeping (I know he's not) and then wakes up and is ready to take on the world right when I'm about to drift off to sleep. There's no doubt that the sleep issue has seriously detracted from my joy of being a mommy. I feel awful about not having more energy to bond with him and play with him during the day. I'm half zombie on almost every day. He's seven weeks now btw. About two weeks ago he started spitting up a ton more than normal, some projectile. The doctor wanted to see us and he put Loudon on Zantac for acid reflux. I read all about this online and saw that some moms refuse Zantac. So of course now I feel guilty about that. So now I have his bassinet elevated 30 degrees. I would love to use a sleep positioner but I read that those were not good due to babies falling off of them and suffocating, etc. I think a positioner would make a world of difference though... but am now afraid to try one. We are still in the midst of this dilemma. When I can take no more at night, I take him to bed with me and lay him in the fold of my right arm so that he's in the middle of the bed. I move all pillows and blankets away from him and just hold him in my right arm. After fussing like a maniac in the bassinet, once next to me, he's fast asleep and calm. I fall asleep at times and then wake up with every move that he makes to check on him. I'm in search of a solution. My DH wants to put him on a feeding schedule, but since he's so young, I want to continue feeding him on demand (every 2-3 hours). This is a major source of disagreement with us right now. Loudon has at most slept for 4 hours and that was only once. Okay, now I think I'm just venting, so I'll stop .

My DD didn't want to sleep without me either. The carseat would work sometimes. Other times, I also had her propped in the crook of my arm. I had myself and her positioned so that neither of us could "roll". I ended up putting a mattress directly on the floor of her nursery and I would stay in there with her. Eventually, I got one of the baby snuggle nests and laid right next to it with it right against the wall. Since it has hard sides, it allowed me to rest a little more b/c I knew I couldn't accidentally get into a deep sleep and roll on her. I always woke with her slightest movement, but knew I needed to get more rest. So that helped to relieve some of my panic. Now at two years old she still often climbs into our bed. She will sleep in her toddler bed, but sleeps best next to me. I don't have any real solutions, just suggestions for getting through it.

I had the same issue with DS. He would sleep like a champ on my chest or right next to me in the bed, but about as soon as I would lay him down in his comfy bassinet, he would wake. Otherwise, he would sleep for about 20 to 30 minutes, just enough time for me to be on the brink of sleep before he woke again. Unfortunately, I really don't have any great advice, but it does get better. DS always slept more soundly when he was swaddled, but when he was about a week old he already started trying to break out of the swaddle. DH was the only one of us who could ever get the swaddle tight enough to contain him. In fact, one thing we did try was DH doing a late feeding (I would pump in advance) and he would give the baby a bottle and swaddle him right before he went to bed. We did this for a while and I was at least able to get 4-5 hours before waking for the next feeding. But then, I was usually back in the same boat. I would get up with him to feed, try to reswaddle and he would seem asleep, but then begin fighting the swaddle after 15 or 20 min. Geesh! My DH insisted that we move DS to his big boy crib at 6 weeks and that actually seemed to help. We gave up the swaddle (for sleep sacks) after his 2 month checkup and he actually would then occasionally sleep through the night. We started a bedtime routine at 3 months and the schedule has helped a lot. I cut out night nursing (for the most part) about 2 months ago and he is sleeping through the night.

Me: 37
DH: 34 (excellent SA)
Dx: DOR, Partial DQ Alpha Match
Highest FSH: 15
AMH: .7
TTC since August 2006
2 Clomid/Natural cycles beginning 12/07
3 Femara/IUI cycles (beginning 2/08)
Acupuncture 3/08 - 1/09
TCM & Acupuncture 4/08-6/08
IVF #1 - July '08 - failed @ ER
IVF #2 - October '08 - 3 transferred - BFN
FET - Jan '09 - 2 transferred - BFP - chemical
IVF #3 - April '09 - BFP!!!!
EDD: 1/24/10 with a BOY!!
DS born on 1/24/10

Has anyone tried swaddling with a Woombie? I didn't know about them when my girls were born but have been using it with DS who is now 7 weeks old. I think it works wonders! DH thought it looked like a straight jacket when I first put it on but now admits that DS sleeps well in it. He is sleeping in a PNP right now and getting up once or twice a night to BF. Just thought I would try to throw it out there as another suggestion. Sleep issues are so hard!



Anne2571
ME: 39 ... High FSH, history of irregular cycles last 20 years
DH: 42 ... No MF problems
06/06 - FSH 12.4
08/06 - IUI #1 BFN
12/06 - IUI #2 BFN
03/07 - IVF #1 BFP (twin girls born in 11/07)
05/09 - FET #1 (transferred 1) BFN
02/10 - FET #2 (transferred 1) BFP
10/14/10: Baby Boy born!!

Thanks!

Keep him swaddled as tightly as possible to prevent the flail reflex. Oh my DS was a horrid sleeper and I cause alot of the problem by letting him sleep on the boob or in my arms. He still struggles and is nearly two.

I would swaddle him and put him in his crib in another room. THat way you don't hear every noisy gurgle and erp, which kept me up...

Check Chick, One Tube and Ovary, FSH 15.9
Me: 37, DH: 37
DD: Born 5/25/07 via c-section. 8 pounds 8 ounces, 21 3/4 inches long!


DS: Born 3/9/09 via c-section. 8 pounds 15 ounces, 21 3/4 inches long!

for the advice and/or the commiseration. Glad I'm not alone! When my husband is home (he works a few nights a week) we take shifts and I'm able to get some sleep in 2 hour increments which gives me about enough rest to make it through the next day. Henry has also learned to sleep for an hour or two here and there in his swing so that's good, but we're going to keep trying to conquer the bassinet... Will keep you posted!

SWADDLE, get a swaddleme blanket at TRU, and how about a side car sleeper for your bed, I just loved ours it was so safe and secure and later it detached into a small crib. My best advice is work to the habits you want to live with, but at this point it's about survival and whatever makes you happy and let's you all get the rest you need. Hugs!

I slept on the recliner with him on my chest/tummy. Then I wrapped a huge blanket around us both with it just under his armpits, pocketed his legs so he won't slip down and tucked in well behind me. I always dropped my arms but the blanket held him firmly. We slept like this for about the first 3 - 4 mths. It did make going to the bathroom a challenge for me.

Eventually I would hold him for a couple hrs then put him gently in his bassinet. He still wakes 3 - 4 times a night. And he stands right up so no chance of putting him back down. I have to pick him up.

Currently he sleeps between - me on the recliner, in his crib and in my bed. What can I do? Sleep deprivation is horrid but after almost 3 yrs of almost no sleep at night and NO naps, how much worst can it be? Lol. I've never seen a teenager that didn't sleep tons. One day we will once again get a full nights sleep..............I hope

Z.