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when did you guys let everyone know

September 28 2011 at 2:46 PM
bigboy  (no login)

about your pregnancy? i started letting more people know after my 8 1/2 week ultrasoundit's just easier bc i look and feel like crap all the time. BUT we have kept it from both sides of the family.(with the exception of both sets up parents) this may be weird, but it is easier for me to tell my friends and people i dont see very much. with family (especially my husband's side) they will spaz and, pardon my french, probably be up my as* until delivery. and if i have a m/c they will think im super messed up and it will be talked about forever or something bc my husband's family has never really experienced any exceptional family loss. they dont understand IF at ALL, unlike my friends who just seem more up to date on things, even if they dont totally get IF. i dont even know if this makese sense.
i think if i was having one, i would be open with telling the family now. but bc there are two, i just keep thinking that "one might go away". and i feel like there is never real reassurance with this regarding multiples. i think, when is it safe? 14 weeks? 18? when?

 
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sch1star
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given what you describe

September 28 2011, 3:12 PM 

I would be reluctant to announce, too. One of the reasons we waited for most ppl (altho we did tell some after h/b, like you) is that we wanted to limit the number of people we had to face in the case of a loss. I felt pretty comfortable telling after our 1st trimester screen results, which more or less coincided with the end of 1st tri. Are the m/c stats for twins very different? That is, if everything is good at ~14 weeks, does your risk drop significantly?

 
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Newbie
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Re: when did you guys let everyone know

September 28 2011, 3:25 PM 

Because I m/c'd my first at 12 weeks, I knew I wasn't going to tell more than my mom & brother prior to the first trimester being over. My in laws found out earlier b/c I thought I was going thru another m/c at the same time. People just don't get it, like my in laws. Its your news to share and I was adamant about it this time. They still continued to haunt my husband so they could tell and its not like they found out at like 4 weeks like my mom. They had to keep a secret what for 3 weeks..I was lucky I had an appointment coincide with the end of the first trimester where I got to hear the h/b again. At this point, I felt it was safe to tell family and close friends.

Its hard b/c yes, your excited but also you want people to know why you might be acting funny or putting on a few pounds. From my perspective, the first trimester brings so many ups and downs you don't need any more stress. Only you will know in your heart what is right but don't let anyone bully you in to giving up the goods earlier.


 
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bigboy
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Re: when did you guys let everyone know

September 28 2011, 4:13 PM 

well in my case losing a few pounds ; ) i look gross now!

 
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bigboy
(no login)

Re: when did you guys let everyone know

September 28 2011, 4:26 PM 

also, ive been avoiding family gatherings on my husband's side bc my weight loss looks pretty pronounced. so i know they'd be asking if i was sick or something.
....on a totally different note i think i might have to go get sick. i havent done this yet and it feels awful!!!!

 
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Alli
(Login AC2009)

Also depends on how you're carrying

September 28 2011, 5:22 PM 

We told people at 7 weeks. I know- very early, but I was already showing. You may find it hard to hide pretty soon!

 
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bigboy
(no login)

Re: Also depends on how you're carrying

September 28 2011, 5:57 PM 

i mean right now sometimes it looks like something but it's just bloat from the horrible/slow digestion. i remember this with my son...and it went away right before i actually did start showing a little something, which was 14/15 weeks.
we were thinking of just saying that "we're pregnant" and not mentioning that there are two....but this doesnt seem right to me so, idk. we will most likely tell around 15 weeks...and just caveat the hell out of it.
im seriously nervous about the weight gain. at this rate, if it doesnt get better i wont gain any weight at all and i will just keep losing. it's just so bad right now, i cant see it getting better. i hope im wrong. the zofran does not help at all.

 
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Rebekah
(Login Bestbehavior)

I would wait

September 28 2011, 3:50 PM 

I would wait til 14 weeks or a more definite time frame that coincides with an u/s. We had to send an email around week 20 to about FIFTY of our "closest" friends/coworkers etc explaining we were no longer carrying twins (but rather one healthy child) and we would be absent from work for a few days. It was beyond painful and difficult. Thank goodness for email because there was no way I could tell that many people in person or via phone.

 
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Kristen
(no login)

Re: when did you guys let everyone know

September 28 2011, 7:30 PM 

With this pregnancy, we waited until 12 weeks and by then it was so obvious that everyone could figure it out anyway. I started showing so early. Later, people were telling me they suspected when I was about 8 weeks along (already had a nice bump then) and had been wearing huge flowing tops since about 8 weeks to conceal the growing bump.. I wanted to wait until after we completed the first trimester and had the results from first trimester screen, but I was sick of trying to hide behind these awful clothes. I didn't quite make it out of the 1st trimester before we told, but we had the results of the screen. Its a very personal decision, but I would have waited longer if I could have. With my last pg, only immediate family knew early on (around 6 weeks), but we ended up waiting until about 16 or 17 weeks before we told our friends - that pg was very high risk though and I wasn't so huge!

Do what feels right to you!

Kristen happy.gif

 
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ALM
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I told at 12+ weeks after 1st trimester screening

September 28 2011, 9:57 PM 

Had the screening on a Monday at exactly 12 weeks, and "went live" beginning that Friday and on into the weekend. Told work, family, etc. Up until then, ONLY ONE FRIEND KNEW!!!!! I knew I was high risk and had massive bleeding at 8 weeks, so I was super paranoid.

What you describe is exactly why I didn't tell sooner. My family members were shocked and excited. They couldn't believe I'd kept the secret so long! happy.gif But, they said REALLY dumb things while I was ttc - such as "maybe you are one of those people who just can't get pg", "maybe you need a surrogate" (never mind I'm in my 40's - DUH!).

You have to protect yourself as best as possible, but within reason. At some point the cat is going to get out of the bag. With twins, I might wait until 14-16 weeks, depending on how stir crazy you are going with not being able to tell. Best to you, and Congrats and Good Luck!

 
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(no login)

Both times at around 14 weeks

September 29 2011, 12:07 AM 

I've waited both times to get the first trimester screening before telling people.

I've told my mom, dad and sister always right away, so they've been through every loss, but I knew I needed someone to talk about it if it happened.

Also I always told my BFF right away, but she was there for me always.

I waited to tell everyone else because I hate explaining to people and talking about it.

Hopefully it will all be all right with both babies and you will have a HUGE surprise to give people! happy.gif

 
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Sarah in Seattle
(Login SeattleSarah)

17 weeks for baby 1, 12 weeks for baby 2

September 29 2011, 5:13 PM 

I also felt very private and protective of my bean and we had soooooooooo many issue getting pregnant and then having to do a CVS, high chance of heart defects, etc. that I didn't want to tell people because I was terrified of miscarrying and then having to tell people. We told our families at 13 weeks, right after we got the OK from our CVS. At 17 weeks, I really started to show so I told everyone at my work. But I didn't want to talk about it at length with people so I would make some excuse that I didn't have time to talk. I was just a nervous nellie. With my second, I had quit my awful job, and I felt more comfortable telling people. We told our families right away and told everyone else at 12 weeks.

I totally hear you on family being up in your business - we had the same issue with my mother-in-law. It was her first grandchild and she was obsessed. Completely nuts. E-mailed me 3 times a day with "advice." So annoying!! Hopefully you won't have that particular issue....

Good luck to you,
Sarah

 
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(no login)

3 months

September 30 2011, 9:09 AM 

we waited until the 3 months mark. We had told some very close friends, but that's it. No family and everyone else until 3 month mark.

 
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