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Paranoia! (child ment)

June 1 2012 at 10:52 AM
Katherine  (Login Gryphon4)

Hi everyone,

Do you have any advice for dealing with anxiety and paranoia in early pregnancy? Yesterday I had sharp stabbing pains on the right side for several hours, and I was convinced I was having a miscarriage. I called my OB, and she said to drink lots of water and rest. And now the pains have gone away, and I'm pretty sure it was just constipation and gas (embarrassing).

I'm pretty sure I had some of this with my first pregnancy, too (four years ago)--but with that one, I just had a positive test, assumed I'd have a healthy baby, and didn't have any testing done till I started spotting at 12 weeks (turned out to be nothing). So I didn't worry about the random pains.

But this time--partly because it's been so hard to conceive, partly because a good friend of mine recently had three miscarriages before she had a successful pregnancy--I'm freaking out about every little twinge.

Is there any way to know when I need to worry, and when I should just calm down and stop googling symptoms? (I read Laura's recent posts, which are very reassuring--thanks!) Any advice?

Best,
Katherine

 
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Teresa
(no login)

Well...this is coming from another nervous wreck

June 1 2012, 11:14 AM 

Oh Katherine, I could have written your post. To. A. Tee. I am the same. A complete wreck.
The symptoms will come and go. (I have tried to drill this sentence into my brain). But they will. At 4 weeks I was so constipated I was crying, the gas was excrutiating, but now things have "loosened up" a bit. Of course I am analyzing that too. Things change every day. Yesterday I had sore boobs, today I dont. Yesterday I had no nausea today I do.
I think the best thing I can say without sounding like a hypocrite is knowing that the pains and twinges are mostly normal. Unless you start bleeding super heavy, try and trust that things are ok, that your body is strong and capable. Drink your water, get your rest, don't lift anything too heavy, and keep the faith. DON'T GOOGLE.
I have had 4 miscarriages and here I am again. It is AGONY for me every minute of every day but I try and stay calm, keep myself calm, trust that this will be "it" for us. I tell myself all the time that I am doing everything right, I am doing all the best things for me and this baby- the rest is out of my hands.
It's sad for your friend that had the losses but try and focus on the fact that you are healthy and you are different.
Im sorry I cant be of more help but I do understand how hard it is and what the anxiety is, you arent alone.
PS Dont read "what to expect when youre expecting" I threw mine in the trash, it will make you even more paranoid.
Teresa




 
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Katherine
(Login Gryphon4)

Hi Teresa

June 1 2012, 11:40 AM 

Good to know, I guess, that I have a partner in anxiety! How far along are you? I hope everything continues to go well!

 
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Teresa
(no login)

Re: Hi Teresa

June 1 2012, 12:24 PM 

I'm right there with you!
I am 7 weeks and 4 days today.
What about you?
One day at a time and positive thinking, as much as possible happy.gif

 
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Marti
(no login)

Re: Paranoia! (child ment)

June 1 2012, 1:12 PM 

Hi Katherine and Teresa,
Are you both in my head and heart? Because the feelings you have written about are exactly my same anxieties. I get through the days with a lot of prayer and discussion with my embryos. I am 6 wks 6 days today and am terrified to enjoy my first pregnancy. Thank you for voicing your emotions and allowing me to feel this is a normal part of the process.

 
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Teresa
(no login)

Its awful, I know

June 2 2012, 6:28 AM 

Hi Marti,
I have to say, when I am busy it's not as bad as when I'm not and have time on my hands to obsess. When my DH is home, he distracts me. But when he's not..oh boy.

I go to the OB 1x a week, you would think it helps me but the days leading up to it are awfu, starting 5 minutes after I walk out of there, til he next appt, lol.

I'm trying to tell myself to focus on the positives. I am eating well, drinking all my water, resting and not letting outside of pg stresses get to me. And when I get good news from the dr, I try to remind myself "I am on track for this week and the baby will continue to grow and all will be well"

Basically I try to talk myself out of the bad thoughts in my head.

I know it's hard. We are all here for you.

Find things to dive into. A good book, a long movie, a good friend, a walk. Music. And definitely create a mantra or something to repeat over and over until you feel better. Mine is "my body is capable and I am doing everything in my power to nurture myself and this baby and all will be well"

Good thoughts!

 
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Erin
(no login)

May I join the anxiety party?

June 1 2012, 1:21 PM 

I am so totally with all of you. I am soooo anxious, and then I'm also feeling guilty about feeling so anxious which- guess what?- is making me even more anxious! I've been trying to do these meditations daily (although sometimes I feel too anxious to meditate...) but they are helpful at times and they're free! Here's a link if you're interested:

http://www.healthjourneys.com/kaiser/healthyPregnancy_flash.asp

Otherwise, I have no good advice since obviously, I'm the poster child for anxiety. happy.gif Glad to know we're not alone though!

 
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mel
(no login)

you are not alone!

June 1 2012, 1:43 PM 

Well, I may not be the best to give this advice, because I'm also paranoid, worried, anxious, etc. With each milestone I reach, I keep thinking the nerves will calm down. I'm at 17w4d and am still trying to keep them at bay.

I've had three previous early losses (one before my DD, who is 3.5 yo) and two since while TTC #2. Much like you, with my pregnancy with my DD, although I was worried (it's in my nature), it was no where near where my anxiety is now. For me, I was diagnosed with secondary IF, and the diagnosis, combined with the losses has put me into a new state of worry and paranoia.

I have tried to remain as positive as possible (some days are harder than others) and to take things one day at a time. I'm guilty of it too, but I try not to google things too much because it usually only adds to my anxiety. Cramps, pains, discharge, etc. are all normal parts of pregnancy, so try to remind yourself of that. I think anything that continues to be painful or bothersome is totally worth calling your OB about, at least to put your mind at ease.

I told Teresa this a few posts back...I keep a post-it note on my desk at work "PMA" to remind myself to keep a Positive Mental Attitude.

Hugs to you.

 
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smrc
(no login)

you are certainly not alone!

June 1 2012, 2:16 PM 

I am almost at 13 weeks and have honestly been living in some kind of paralyzed limbo state during this time, angsting and waiting for something bad to happen! We have not even told our news to our parents yet because of the apprehension we have felt. Regular (weekly) monitoring by C.ooper is the only thing that has kept me sane/believing that this pg may actually be here to stay.

You're in good company!

SMRC

 
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Antonialisa
(no login)

SMRC!!!

June 4 2012, 10:33 AM 

13 weeks is fantastic! I'm very sorry about your anxiety, but let me be super excited for you.

 
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smrc
(no login)

just saw this

June 4 2012, 5:48 PM 

and thank you so much!! I'm always rooting for you and here to support you as needed!

 
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Katherine
(Login Gryphon4)

Thanks!

June 1 2012, 2:23 PM 

I'm at 5 weeks and 2 days. . . u/s scheduled for June 11, and hopefully I'll feel a little better if there's a heartbeat and all looks well. Good to know I'm not alone with all the anxiety!

 
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Amy
(Login Aimes25)

i was there for 9 loooong months

June 1 2012, 3:03 PM 

I wish I could tell you it gets easier the farther along you get, but it doesn't. I just had a rule. I wouldn't call the Dr with cramps unless they were accompanied by bleeding/spotting. If I had cramps and laid down and they didn't go away, then I would consider calling the nurse, just to ease my fears.

Also, I had u/s's every other week...that was reassuring for us. And a doppler that I checked the baby's h/r with every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Those were my anxiety calmers.

Whenever I felt yucky, I drank a gob of water and laid on my left side (b/c it increases blood flow to the uterus).

It's tough. I lost 5 babies before I got my miracle, so I knew my paranoia wasn't going anywhere, I just had to wait it out. And my miracle is almost 5 weeks old now and it was SO worth it! happy.gif Hang in there.



TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
28 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy sad.gif
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
Saw Dr Mary Stephenson at U of Chicago for recurrent pregnancy loss....dx with Lupus Anticoagluant and Incompetent Cervix, will be treated with lovenox
5-25-11 - Had a Transabdominal Cerclage placed by Dr Haney at U of Chicago

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse (self medicated/unmonitored) BFN
Gonal F with Timed Intercourse: 7 follies in play - BFP at 10dpo!!!
12dpo hcg level 80.5, progesterone 16.8
14dpo hcg level 295, progesterone 18
6w3d u/s showed 1 baby with a h/r of 120, measuring 6w4d
7w3d u/s showed baby with h/r of 160, measuring 7w3d
7w5d u/s showed a possibility of TWINS! Baby A (the original) measured 8w, h/r 167...Baby B, hiding in the upper uterus measured 6w6d, h/r 176...time will tell if Baby B will make it
8w4d u/s showed Baby A doing well measuring 8w4d and h/r of 185....Baby B measured 7w3d and no h/r detected sad.gif My 5 angels better help me out through the rest of all this
9w5d u/s showed Baby A measring 9w5d, h/r 188
10w5d u/s showed Baby A measuring good, h/r 175
11w3d u/s shoed Baby A measuring 11w4d, h/r 169
12w6d u/s showed Baby A measuring 13w2d, h/r of 167
13w5d u/s showed Baby A measuring 13w6d, h/r of 156
15w5d u/s showed Baby Girl measuring about a week ahead! h/r 164
17w4d u/s showed Baby Girl with a h/r of 156, cervix measuring 5cm+
19w4d, u/s showed Baby Girl with a h/r of 151, cervix measuring 5cm
23w4d, u/s showed Baby Girl with h/r of 149, cervix measuring 5cm. Baby weighed 1lb 14oz and is in the 80th percentile...her belly in the 97th....talked a little big about GD
27w4d, u/s showed Baby Girl with h/r of 151, cervix measuring 5cm...baby weighed 3lb 4oz, 87th percentile, pass GD test!
29w4d u/s showed Baby Girl with h/r of 148, cervix 5cm
31w4d u/s showed Baby Girl with h/r of 129, cervix 5cm and weight is 5lb 5oz! BIG GIRL!!!
35+ weeks and counting!
Started contracting at 36w, had c-section at 36w2d, Welcome to the world Baby Lorelei, 6lb 11oz and perfectly healthy!!!!

 
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Laura
(no login)

Re: Paranoia! (child ment)

June 1 2012, 9:37 PM 

Well I don't have any more advice, except to hang in there!

 
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Wells42
(Login Wells42)

Similar experience

June 5 2012, 5:08 PM 

With this last pregnancy, I had absolutely no compass. I went to the ER twice - once because I was SURE the baby had stopped moving, and once after a very minor fender bender (indeed - no fenders even bent) because I was SURE I had had a placental abruption (I went to the ER AFTER my MFM Dr. told me over the phone he was "comfortable" telling me not to worry). Also, since my OB was an hour away, I went to my GP SIX times to get the heart beat checked (after she was born, I took her in and took a photo of my GP listening to her little heart with a stethoscope - I wanted it for my scrapbook and as a way to thank him/ have him see the baby / because he always got me in so many times). And these 6 visits were on top of my every-three-week visits to my MFM Dr. I tried really hard to be calm - swam everyday - wrote in my journal - but I just couldn't go a whole week without something seeming to go wrong. The irony was when things did go wrong (I developed a rare complication called Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy) I had to fight with my doctors to get the tests done. And in that case, had I NOT been googling into the wee hours, I wouldn't have known what to look for, and who knows what would have happened. So, hopefully, someone will post with a less crazy way to approach a pregnancy, but for me, I just did what I felt like I had to do. The only regret I have is I wish I would have continued acupuncture. I think that may have helped. And maybe a massage. Or two. Or three. (one a week, maybe:) )

 
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