my boyfriend and i have tried anal sex a few times in the past few months but everytime he just sticks the head in it is so painful it stings! andi have to stop him! well last night we went a little further not much--we even used the desentizer or whatever that numbs the area--and still couldnt do it! i have no problems with his finger or a butt plug which he used last night while haveing sex--what is the best position and what else can you use to get past the pain--hes not huge maybe 7 inches and well a little wide-and i bleed alot after and today when i went to the bathroom--and ideas? what about alcohol? if i get drunk???

OK I will save the Damn part for the end.

You need to be really really excited and ready. He needs to go so slow that you do the pushing in.

It makes no sense to me if you need to use some kind of lotion to cut the pain because you are going to feel a lot more pain AFTER - that is when that stuff wears off.

Bleeding is NOT supposed to be part of Anal. You are just not ready for this.

Why Anal now when the relationship is about at the very end?

Do you think that IF you give in to this it is going to make him happy? So Dammit it Ally - Anal makes no sense to me.

Save that for someone in the future - nor is it for everyone.

Either you are really really excited and ready or your tight and getting past that tight will be painful for many days.

Sex is not supposed to be painful except for a few who are into getting off with pain.

things changed alot since last night cant get into right now becaue hes here==but things are mcu hbetter ad future looks good

when a couple with problems TALK OPENLY FROM THEIR HEART and reveal all their concerns, everything is on the table and you can see what is bothering the other person. then your love and friendship for each other will decide if it is enough for you to grow even closer in cuddling time from talking problem out.

good luck for good answer and future together in deeper love

Ally I had the exact same problem with my ex trust me! It became a pretty big issue. I wasnt really into it, bcus I felt uncomfortable wit that area and it just hurt soo much when he got only his head in.
Got to the point where we couldnt have normal sex without him bringing it up and making it an issue. I just felt as tho my pussy wasnt good enough anymore like he was sick of it. I duno, if this is similar to your issue?..
My ex was all about nethu anal tho, touching, licking playing fingering.. I think some guys r just "into" it.

This isnt why we broke up but it upset me quite a bit.

I dont know how ppl do it. But if you dont feel comfortable with doin it then dont! I mean, isnt the other end Good enough?! If it isnt than its not worth it or goin newhere. Sorry this just frustrates me bcus ive dealt with it b4 and i mean if his with you than it should be enough!!! x x

oh no he doesnt force the issue at all--neither of us had tried it before and guess just curious tried like 5-6 months ago and the first hit i screamed-nothing after that til a few nights ago he asked to put it in my ass so i said we have to upstairs to put the special lotion on and we did and tried ouch then he went to pussy and put an butt plug while fucking me and then took out the plug and fingered me and then tried to put his dick in and still ouch--it got farther than before but couldnt take no more! i think i bleed because ive had polyps before when i had a colonscopy a few years ago maybe they came back because i sometimes bleed when i have a bowel movement
but no its not a problem gosh we have sex everyday for a year sometimes 2-3 times and it never gets boring! and thats a frist for me-thats why i know its love! ive done things with him i would never thought of doing to someone i was just dating(and they dating other people) like swallowing, him fingering me in the butt, 69 etc...

Anal is something I would NEVER suggest to a gal I am with.

The first time this came up - I was asked if I ever thought about it and frankly I lied and said no. About one year later on vacation she asked me to give Anal to her and I found some hand lotion and because I was very well read up on this subject - I went very very slow.

It may not have been the first time for her - I fully admit it was extra tight and that was nice - What shocked me was that she came from Anal.

With that girl we never repeated that kind of sex.

So on occasion and it still surprises me - A girl will make that request and I have no problems doing it - However and this still makes me a bit put off - One gal after I finished doing Anal to her - She gave me oral sex.

Now as a Male I have had Anal exams from doctors and if they need to check out a guy for infections and they cannot find the source of a high white blood count- they will do the Prostate massage to force an ejaculation - and that is from my experience - It does NOT feel good - It takes too long a time with the docs finger (glove) up your rear and poking that gland - No erection of course so it may take even longer to come -

So when a girl wants to play with my rear parts I first need to feel very clean so I might suggest that we move to the shower first.

I don't want anyone touching me back there IF I do not feel squeeky clean.

Nor does it make me very happy to pull out my penis and see something on it that makes me feel unclean- That takes me to the shower real fast

big shock 2 me that young people do this bum fucking thing, i thought it was a joke. surely it would be hard 2 wash properly afterwards, especially as sum people suck a cock a lot. will soap clean it enough.

One can start in the shower and on occasion with one partner she uses an enema first.

Considering how close we are to that area that we usually try and avoid - Its so very very close to her Vagina. We guys have a full package between our Penis and are bum hole. Books and surveys say that about 15 to 20 percent try anal at least once.