Out on the trail one day, while stopping to take a leak, the Lone Ranger was bitten on the end of his dick by a rattler.
Writhing in pain, he told Tonto to ride to town for the Doc. Tonto went hell bent for leather, and arriving at the medics office informed him of the Masked Man's peril.
Unfortunately, the Doc was in the middle of delivering a baby and could not leave mom and child unattended. He gave Tonto the following first aid guidelines, "Make small "X" shaped incisions over both fang marks, then suck out the poison. Then bring him to town for follow-up."
Tonto rode back to his master and explained that Doc couldn't make it due to the delivery. The Ranger asked if the medic told Tonto anything else, to which the Indian replied, "He said you're one dead masked man!"