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One of the elephants at the local zoo died yesterday - story:http://www.buffalonews.com/258/story/810546.html - and it suddenly occurred to me to wonder what the Devil one does with a 3-5 ton dead body... ...I mean - you'd need some sort of crane and heavy truck just to cart it away to whatever fate awaited it, I presume... ...but then what ?

I'm sure they just bring in a livestock butcher to dismember Jumbo. They'll keep the meat in cold storage to feed to all of the lions and tigers and bears, oh my! After that, the bones will be ground up into fertilizer. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

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...But with the way the zoo staff carried on about the elephant being 'one of the family' on the local TV news reports - and I guess it's not unreasonable that they would feel that way... ...I guess - I got the impression that the last thing they would want, regardless of the practicality, would be to see their old pal get lopped apart to make cat-steaks & whatnot.

Not to mention the hullabaloo it might cause if word got out that they'd done so.

Not that I'd mind, of course...

that the zoo aparatchiks were smiling and making nice-nice to the tv cameras and telling all of the assembled children that Jumbo would soon be interred with full zoological park honors at the elephant cemetary. Meanwhile, in a nearby shed, another man wearing a white butcher's smock was standing before a grinding wheel, putting a fresh edge on his high carbon steel carving blades, while another stood close by, filing his chain saw blade.

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...You're going to have me visiting the zoo just to watch the keepers in the Big Cat areas during feeding time, calling out " Any Buki in there ?!" (the passed on pachyderm's name was Buki) as they toss hunks of meat to the tremendous tabbies...

sound of a chainsaw should be a dead giveaway.

They have to move him no matter what. Good Christ! Can you imagine the stench a rotting fully grown elephant would make! EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

Shit like that may not matter out in the middle of the savanah, but it probably would make a difference in your basic urban setting!

Q: You know what kind of wine you serve with elephant?


A: Peanut Noir



Now I'm getting out of here. Even I would throw shit at me for that joke.


runs (*fast*)

This seems to answer everyting satisfactorily.


http://www.slate.com/id/2134941/

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...There's a local pet cemetery that I know does cremations. The shop I was laid off from printed assorted forms for the place. They supposedly handle disposal of all the local road kill deer & assorted critters in this county , too.

Wonder if they'd be the go-to guys for Buki's "immolation".
LoL


In a related matter - sort of...

...I wonder if you really could make wine out of peanuts...

I suppose if you could, George Washington Carver would have done it. Or, maybe he did and it just tasted like dung!