A new priest, born and raised in Montana, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions,then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'yes, I see,'and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.' The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, No shit, what happened next?"

Nice one!

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" a man inquired. The Sheriff answered. "Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there." The Sheriff answered. "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood they see, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly afterwards, the phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?" "Yeah?!" "Did they chop all of your firewood?" "Yep!" "Happy Birthday, buddy!"