*nodding* oh yeah!

There are times when i feel very inadequate yes.

Sometimes i feel not good enough when depression strikes me. Episodes of depression seem to be striking with more frequency lately. Dont know whether its due to circumstances or hormonal imbalance.

Its hard for me to talk about it but sometimes when im depressed, my motivation is nill to do the things that i have to do or things i am told to do. Even if the consequences are severe.

During these times, those around me, including Mistress, have a very hard time. They see me going downhill and neglecting to do things and it worries them. Which in turn tends to make things worse for me because i have let them down and let myself down once again. Despite how much i want to do better, i am unable to force myself into doing what needs to be done. I at first thought that this was just something that would pass and it helped ease the burden i was feeling. But it keeps happening and is very scary.

Another reason i feel inadequate at times is when Mistress pays attention to other submissives or the other way around. And im not talking normal attention, im talking overly friendly or sexual wise. I know that its due to jealousy but i cant help feeling that im not good enough for Her and that when She finds a submissive that obeys better...that can do more for Her..that is more compatible..or whatever..that She will not want me anymore. I start to feel very inadequate and helpless to prevent the bad feelings from showing up.

I think the best way that i can handle this particular thing is to talk more to Her about it. To open up and let all my feelings out. Its hard sometimes though because She becomes distracted with things sometimes and i dont want to burden Her with my silly feelings about this matter.

Well..this is my opinion...i hope it helps someone..or that it helps me as well to get it out into the open.

~j~ lil ol meow kat