While it is not necessary, a simple precaution of a handle that has a "v" at the end of it - and explain to any and all that the V stands for vanilla, or visitor to the lifestyle, might simplify things.
However, the best things that a non lifestyler who visits our chat rooms can do are:
Respect our rules in regards to PMs, and don't do so w/out asking and receiving permission.
Respect ownership, and don't become overly familiar with a collared, claimed, or otherwise "taken" submissive. If you are in doubt - if they wear someone's name in their handle tag or as a part of their handle, ask before touching, hugging, tweaking, etc, unless you know the person and are CERTAIN the physical contact (typed contact?) would be welcome.
When both a submissive and his/her Dom/me/Master/Top/Owner, whatever, are both in the room, whether you know the person or not - do NOT touch the submissive unless you have the Owner's permission.
Respect the fact that some of us are not comfortable with overly familiar forms of address and physical expression, and get to know someone before hugging them or calling them by a nickname.
Capitalize someone's name the way it is typed in their handle.
Ask what someone prefers to be addressed as before shortening their name.
I will make sure that this issue is addressed when we codify our protocols for the Velvet Glove. ~smiles~
~R
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