emmy, for the longest time i have meant to give you a response to this post... since i first read it in HoL forum. but in honesty im not sure what it is exactly that you are hoping for, other than an understanding of how people may feel about humiliation in general.
when i read the post you refer to, i viewed this particular post as a discussion that leaned more toward the S & M portions of this lifestyle and in honesty, i can not relate to S & M, as i am only into B & D.
my opinion on humiliation is that sometimes it is necessary in order to break a submissive. however, i view this as extremely dangerous for anyone who hasn't proper knowledge of what they are doing nor the proper experience. i also have to show concern for their intentions in doing so. while breaking a submissive, serious pyschological and/or emotional damage can easily take place. i guess for some, this would be considered a good thing... for those into the seriously dark side of this lifestyle (not that i am judging them for it... we can not have pleasure without some measure of pain to bring the appreciation for it).
i think that this is a topic which many step lightly on because there are so many variations and still so many paths yet untraveled by us. actually, with the lack of responses, i'd say that none of us have the knowledge nor experience to give proper advice or insight. but i do feel that even though i may not be able to offer much insight myself, you do deserve a response of sorts... even if it is a little bit late, its better late then never tight hugs
my eldest sister is seriously hard core Domme, she has a mood disorder and is also manic... she has absolutely no control of herself nor her power over others. she does not live this lifestyle, but i wish that she would so that she could grasp some understanding of herself as well as those around her and learn to control it in a way that benefits her rather than causing so much destruction.
her favored tool for forcing men into a state of submission is humiliation; whether it be in public or in private. this is what gives her a false sense of security, short term... but leads to her mysery long term because eventually the relationship explodes, she loses them and then she grows even more bitter and hard on the next man who enters her life.
over the years i have watched as more than one man has become suicidal as a result of her dangerous antics and the really scary thing is... she thinks im the strange one in the family because im into this lifestyle. Go figure! lol
i love my sister, she has endured a great deal of pain thru life that she could not handle, which forced her into this state... but its up to her to handle this state of being responsibly and i can only hope that one day i will have the ability to shed some light in her direction and help make that possible. im working on it.
what she needs is someone more Dominant than her, to force her into a submissive state (and yes, in my opinion... thru proper humiliation) and responsibly show her a new life. A knight in shining armour who won't take advantage of her vulnerable state, but use it as a tool to better her life for her own happiness and well being. To break her down, then take her by the hand and gently lift her back up... setting her feet firmly on the ground.
i was humiliated and broken by one Dominant but lifted back up safely by another. my knight in shining armour & beloved TP. many did not have much respect for TP, because they felt he lacked actual lifestyle experience and because he played everything too straight and narrow by the books. but he is an awesome Dominant who truly puts my best interests before his own desires and needs.
i was dangerously broken and then abandoned while in a rather serious state of mind and only TP (out of all the Dominants i had come to know at the time) had the power and ability to save me. my 7 yr old daughter can tell you the story of the day when she sat at mama's bed side, repeatedly checking to see if i was breathing because she feared that i was going to die.
my heart broke to pieces the first time i heard her tell this story. TP and i sat in a state of shock, wrenched with pain for what this child recalled, knowing what she had gone thru at the hands of the only father she ever knew. i felt totally helpless, knowing that my own daughter went thru so much pain and i was angry with myself for ever having submitted to a man who played so dangerously with our lives.
a Dominant who few respected, proved to have more ability than any of those who ever shot him down and saved my life and helped improve the lives of my children, from more than 2500 miles away.
i can only wish that my sister will one day be so lucky.
humiliation can be good and extremely helpful when it comes to saving one from themselves, but it can also be one of the most destructive tools a person could ever use if they are not responsible with the way in which they use it.
i don't know how much i may have helped, but i hope that in some way... i made a contribution on the topic.
tight hug i love ya sissy, please give Dav & Colin a warm hug from me.
Rose
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