i used to go to church every Wednesday and twice on Sunday. i was heavily involved with church functions and was a member of our women's group. When i moved to another state, i searched for a church but was unable to find one that felt warm like the one i had been baptized in. And then i acknowledged/discovered my desires for the BDSM lifestyle. For a long time i thought that i could not have both. i felt as if it were an impossiblity to be both a submissive and a christian. i could not deny the power of the pull the lifestyle has on me. This caused a great internal struggle. i thought i couldn't have both, and yet, i couldn't walk away from either. Has anyone else felt this same struggle? i'm very interested to see what you think, and how you handled it.
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