It's often hard and confusing to figure out where charity ends and sacrifice begins. I know ... because, as a Christian, I felt an enormous amount of pressure/conflict between what I "should" do and what I wanted to do.
If a person practices charity, he will inevitably attract a lot of people to himself who look for handouts, freebies and "help" ... and then the burden of charity becomes pure grueling sacrifice. So how does a charitable person DECIDE when enough is enough ... clamps down and says, "NO MORE!"
The answer (perhaps) lies in evaluating ... exactly WHAT is being "demanded" of you.
The logos way of "love" is to think and to understand the dynamics of what is going on in your life and the lives of those around you with whom you're interacting in a group setting.
When you consider that logos is unselfish, non-preoccupied with ego or competition and keenly interested in the good of the group ... it becomes a lot easier to handle.
If people try to take advantage of your charity ... then THEY are being selfish ... right?
If your aim/goal is to eliminate selfishness ... then you don't NEED to satisfy THEIR demands for their own selfish gratification. You CAN if you want to -if you see some advantage for someone to learn and grow from your charity or compliance- but ... you are under NO OBLIGATION to satisfy the demands of others upon you.
What you give ... you give freely because you WANT to. If you DON'T want to ... why, you don't have to. It's just that simple, really.
And once you can see it for yourself and comprehend that for yourself, your own cooperation and charitable attitude will start bringing you joy instead of resentment.
If you give because it's demanded of you ... you WILL become resentful.
So ... if someone demands your coat ... give him your "cloke" too!~ I have no idea what a cloke is, really ... but the concept is that by DOING something along this line, you aren't giving in to a demand and aren't being controlled by the demand ... you are taking matters into your own hand by GIVING him the "extra". That very action, deflates his satisfaction over having got the best of you.
Now ... you're under no OBLIGATION to do this just because you're a Christian ... and if you do it and don't understand WHY you're doing it, you're going to feel resentful about doing it ... but if you UNDERSTAND the underlying concept ... you'll walk away being a winner in the situation and feeling GOOD about yourself.
THAT is the goal with logos ... to be free and happy at all times, regardless of your circumstances ... because you UNDERSTAND what you're doing and why you're doing it ... and what you do, gives you satisfaction. At the same time, you aren't in competition with anyone; in fact, you are a part of a greater whole and supporting the good of a greater whole because you can perceive that greater whole.
I've been approached by panhandlers plenty of times and my response has been all over the place. In some cases I've been downright rude in my refusal and in other cases I've given a "breath-taking" amount to some charlatan ... when I shouldn't have.
My giving hasn't been justified and smart in any way in those cases but ... I won't beat myself over the head for having been so stupid or having been duped. I just say, "live and learn". I hope the guy who got the big amount will learn something from his receipt of my charity ... as have I !~
When you give to someone and you see how grateful they are to receive your gift ... you feel GLAD ... right? You don't feel as though you've lost what you gave; you feel like you GAINED something worth more than what you gave away.
On the other hand, if you give something which is NOT appreciated, you feel "cheated" somehow.
Real charity though, is giving with no strings attached. This is the kind of giving which the New Testament Greek called "anathema". Once you give it away, you divorce yourself of all thoughts of ownership or wanting to derive some benefit from your charity.
If you give because you DECIDE to do it ... and not because you "should" or because it's demanded ... you will be a much happier and more fulfilled ... and WISER person!