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Farmer Fred

December 10 2016 at 9:51 PM
CB  (Login BoomerC)

 
Every club in some form or another has its own Hedley Verity, though all pale into insignificance by comparison....

Sadly nowadays, even amateur cricket is becoming more professional with many choosing to put money before principle, no matter the 'cost' ?

So if you're a talented young fellow or lass and feel so inclined, may I respectfully urge problematic pragmatism, prudence and pertinent perception before plunging headfirst over the precipice, for as we all know, calm seas don't always remain so ?

Farmer Fred

A bunch of scatterbrained cricket players
sought a credulous cash cow,
so headed north to procure purveyors
not even taking time to say 'chow'

Stopping at a village quintessential
resplendent in flowering decor,
impressed by the apparent potential,
for it was steeped in cricket lore

In order to attain premier dollar
first, they must exhibit ware,
so from rooftops did loudly holler,
'We'll easily beat your team on yonder square'

News spread quickly of this bold impugn
and folk rallied to the cause,
their kinship collective and commune
just as it was, back in both world wars

Next day on green village square
large crowds congregated,
to watch their heroes debonair
face off, against southerners migrated

The toss fell for south's skipper
electing to bat first,
with both openers looking chipper,
the home side feared the worst

But when involved in bloody, bitter battle
men of guile and guts come fore,
so Fred, a farmer of beef cattle
was called upon to check, advancing score

A most unusual, unorthodox slow bowler
could make red cherry dance like a fairy,
and in the mould of Awdry's portly controller
assumed command, denying batsmen chance to parry

Both openers fell flatly, one aft' other
and so the rest collapsed like cards,
for when Fred's on form, nothing's a bother
an exceptional bowler, between 22 yards

Despite oh so encouraging beginnings
the journeymen were skittled out,
and as for chasing their paltry total
Fred stood aside, permitting colleagues to complete the rout!

So the moral of this tale is clear and primeval
grass looks greener, when viewed up ahead,
and lure of easy money, oft' causes chaos and upheaval
especially if up against a wily bowler, in the guise of farmer Fred !

(Awdry's portly controller refers to a character from the Reverend Wilbert Awdry's famous children stories about Thomas the Tank Engine and one of the central characters along with Thomas and his friends was 'The Fat Controller')

 
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