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Husband seeking advice
May 28 2003 at 12:44 PM
No score for this post Anonymous (Login tanker5)
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I need some advice; my wife has shown many of the symptoms of Perimenopause. She covered it really well for a long time she is 43 and we have 4 kids. She wants to separate, loves me but just does not want to be around the house she works has a great job and basically leaves work anytime she wants and rides her horses. She has a male friend that rides and she says they are like sister and brother have a good time together and after many fights, I do believe her. It is her time to be completely carefree. I do believe her about that friendship. I don’t know what to do, I believe this could end up in a divorce; we both agree we don’t want one. She is seeing a counselor but Perimenopause has never been brought up. Several friends have suggested medication, but she does not believe in that. This has all come to a head because of the horse back riding and her friendship with the other guy. She says she loves me, but depending on the day blames me for not being fun to come home to. I have readily admitting to being difficult and promised her I will do anything I can to change. The other guy is a constant source of friction and our friends are starting to talk about it and our kids have asked me why she spends o much time with this guy. An ultimatum to choose between us is not the answer. Does anyone have any suggestions.
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silvercarmel
(no login)
Re: Husband seeking advice
No score for this post May 30 2003, 5:18 AM
Hi ,
just a quick thought , have you thought about going horse riding with your wife, or starting a hobby with just the two of you,or with your wife and children?
Hope everything works out for you all xxxxxxxxCarmelxxx
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RickOlmos
(Login RickOlmos)
Husband seeking advise
No score for this post July 1 2003, 6:41 PM
Hi, I am truly sorry about your troubles however, I can't help but feel the source of your problem isn't PMS or PMDD. Sorry! I am Married to a beautiful woman who has had PMDD for at least the past 10 years, and I have to tell you the symptoms aren't the same with mine as you are describing.
I know all women are different and having PMS or PMDD is not something they enjoy living with.If that is one of the symptoms,thank God it's not the PMDD I am having to deal with. The point here I want to make is, if you are a good man to your wife and you are showing her the support she needs during these times trouble she is having, then it would seem to me, you would be the last person she would want to be away from. You have every right to feel uncomfortable with her and her friendship with another man, if it is coming between you and your relationship with you and your wife. I believe if my wife was having a crisis such as you are describing, I would have to believe there was much more then she was telling me. I do feel as men, we should show compassion with the person we love especially for those who are living with such a disease as PMS or PMDD. I think I would have to draw the line if it involved another man. Most women with this disease have a fear of loosing their loved ones because of the problem with PMS or PMDD. I find it rather difficult to understand how anyone being man or woman would want to put such a strain on their marriage if they had a bond. Im sorry I am rambling on so I will stop. Im just saying, maybe you should both seek a marriage counselor. It wouldn't hurt. I have been with my wife for 15 years and I know we have a very strong bond with each other. If she started seeking comfort from another man, I know something would be wrong. I hope you two will be able to work this out. I wish you the best and will pray for you and your family.
Sincerely, RickO
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RickOlmos
(Login RickOlmos)
Seeking Advice
No score for this post July 1 2003, 8:27 PM
Dear Sir,
I apologize about my last post I am embarrassed to say I had been reading about PMS and didn't realize that you were referring to "perimenopaus"
I tried to remove my post but I don't know how.
But my advise still stands with you and your wife seeking professional help.
Good luck and I wish you two the best!
sincerely, Rick
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