Yes Yes...
No expectations on my part. This recent week and a half has been great, tentatively that is. I'm a little preoccupied, observing how she reacts to everything. Looking for unusual signs. None so far. It really has been pretty good. It makes me wish sometimes I'd never found this website cause I got a funny feeling I'm in for a long road.
I've taken a fairly good look at myself. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. I want to make sure my perceptions are clear and accurate, cause I ain't perfect either.
You see my wife accuses me of trying to make her a scapegoat for all our problems. She says if I can make her out to be crazy, then I don't have to deal with my problems.
I suppose if she was a weaker person, and I was desparate to avoid issues, I could manipulate her into thinking all the problems were her own. I realize how some indviduals can control others with constant ridicule, shaming and guilt. I've even allowed the fact that I may have altziemers and that I'M the one who is acting crazy and irrational... who knows, you never know.
In all fairness, I have seriously considered these possibilities. However I have to admit that there are only certain times in the month when she shows this bazarre behavior and it's always just before her period. Others in my family have noticed her mood swings and strange behavior and have asked me if she's ok. I say "ya she's just tired, you know...shift work at the hospital".
My 80 year old Mother has been the recipient of a fairly rediculous interrogation by my wife(in the middle of the night). She phoned me the next day to ask me if my wife was ok. I felt embarrassed for my wife. I have covered for her on more than one occasion. I feel sorry for her and I feel embarrassed for her.
I am becoming less effective at covering up for her. I know all the nieces and nephews in the family are starting to talk about her. I don't want her to lose the respect of my family members.
Anyway...
This week really has been great. We have a nieces wedding on Saturday.... should be a good party! No expectations.
And you.......... Good Luck!
Later
Steve
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