It was a dark and stormy night. The fog from the bay poured like syrup over the asphalt roads. But I had more on my mind than fog; I had a woman on my mind, a woman named Gretchen. How long had it been since that night at the Drake, too long. You're probably wondering who I am, don't worry, I've had plenty of nights wondering about that myself. They call me Ace, Ace Wheeler and I'm a private dick, a detective. Just an average Joe who stumbled on a beautiful dame in the Drake's bar one cloudy starless night long ago. Not too long ago, in fact it was tuesday.
She sauntered into the place with gams that said she owned the bar and the hearts of all the losers sipping cheap whiskey. Most of the booze-hounds spit their drinks out, me I spilled mine down my pants and sauntered toward the saunterer. Her eyes were blue marbles, cloudy and unfocused. Her breath reeked of rum as cheap as her low-cut dress. I asked her, her name. "Gretchen" she mumbled as she stumbled into my arms. "Great, she's already loaded." I thought as I asked her to dance.
"But there's no music," her voice slurred on every lovely syllable.
"We'll make our own," I told her while sweeping her off her feet. How long we danced I can't say. I had pawned my watch on monday.
It was late when we crossed that dark street, too late to turn back. The light had already turned green. There was nothing left to do but check into the seedy hotel across the way. The lobby was empty when we walked in; maybe it was filled earlier but now it wasn't. I signed the book. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" The manager didn't laugh.
The elevator was out of order. Aren't they always? We took the stairs to the fourth floor and stumbled together into room 437. Gretchen fell across the bed. "Make love to me, you pig!" she commanded, sort of, through slits of eyes.
"Oink, Oink." I replied. She didn't laugh either. I decided I needed a better writer but it was too late. Two shots rang out or maybe it was three? It was hard to tell, I had pawned my hearing aid when I pawned my watch. All I knew was they'd probably charge me for the sheets. Gretchen's eyes looked slightly more out of focus than before. I checked for a pulse. Luckily I was fine. the end
