I've been thinking a lot about the last thing Hunter typed, and on his 4th Amendment Foundation (which he set up to help protect people from dodgy search-and-arrest) stationary too, "Counsellor". I have come to believe that hopefully, murder conspiracy aside (although it's probably highly likely) that's how Hunter wanted to be remembered. He sure was like a counsellor to me. Almost like a bible, Hunter's writing was a rock to me. He taught me that no matter how screwed up and desperate you are about something, you can always do something about it. Here was a crazy, brilliant writer who stomped all over any possible muckraking of his character by giving himself the worst drug-addled, unpredictable, nuisance maker image himself.
My first thoughts when I heard the news were Denial. Someone had gotten to him. Now he was old and frail-ish and 'out of fashion' the US gov decided they could put him out of the way without too much notice. By the way, STOP BASHING SUBCULTURES JUST BECAUSE THEY HIT THEIR PERCEIVED 'PEAK' AT SOME POINT IN THE PAST! Especially the authors of those anti-hunter obits out there.
I'm grateful the happy-go-lucky half-infomercial morning TV program I put on to check the on-screen weather (quicker than waiting for the radio) ran the story, because otherwise I would have found out from the newspaper at the cafe next to my work, and would have been bawling in public (rather than in the toilet at work throughout the day)
But just as I am a declared fence sitter on Kurt Cobain's death, I believe I will be on Hunter's. Sure, I will forever curse the cops for not doing a more thorough crime scene check, and I don't know why Hunter would kill himself when he has a young and presumebly delightful grandson, in the house at the time, but any suicide leaves family members in a memory-addled state and many questions behind.
Unless, of course, the evidence becomes surer (the cartridge not moving into the gun is getting very close) in which case I will be running down high street screaming "Oh my god, they DID kill Hunter!!" But until then, I will curl up quietly with the hope that Hunter centred his one word suicide note to show that it wasn't unfinished, and went out the way he wanted to.
|