I am quite certain that all of my issues stem from a painful childhood. I'm also an OCD type. I need my home and environment to be tidy at all times, and naturally I fell in love with a slob.
There is just so much grief over not having a family when I was young and always expecting that I would have a large family of my own, which I didn't and can't now. We really are too old. If we go back for one more baby, that's possible, but no more. My DH is almost 60, even though he looks young and is in good health, 60 is still 60.
I think I always wanted something like the Waltons. I thought it would be healing. But I didn't get that and have to figure out some other way to come to peace. I want to model a love of life for my boys and I have to get on the ball really soon if I want to do that.
The courses you took sound really interesting. I imagine they were very expensive.