Oh, Oh! I've got a comment! ;-)December 21 2010 at 6:56 PM
|Shannon Vyff (Login shannonvyff)|
Response to More ross
Well, firstly I had no idea that Amanda had as much dysfunction going on in her family that she had when I was talking with her. Secondly, I thought she was still in counselling and dealing with the abuse she had suffered as a child. I shared painful things from my past that I had gone through, and tried to share how that had effected me in my early twenties (with my liking or feeling of needing attention from men) and how I had changed my life now, and come to live a different way. She had shared with me that she was worried about some email from a leader at ACS that had an invitation of a sexual nature, I advised her that she did not need to respond to that, she could just deal with them in a professional manner and focus on the trust she was setting up. I did not know the extent of the flirtation that was going on, also how she was flirting back. After she left her husband and young children her husband was extremely upset and forwarded a bunch of her recent emails (till she regained control of her account)a sordid and still uncomplete story emerged. I saw in the emails, and Amanda's posted Pay Pal account that Jim Y. of ACS used his, and official ACS funds to pay Amanda 400 to 500 dollars a month ostensibly for "out reach work" on her Myspace page. The funds also had messages like, "Here's some sugar" and there were requests for more "pictures" on her Myspace account. It was questionable how effective her Myspace account was, as she did have a lot of risqué photos, such as photos of her in her underwear. I'm fine with people who like to be sexy, or even have open marriages. I did not think while I was talking with Amanda by email and twice on Skype that she was in an open marriage, I believed her when she said she loved her husband and was just having fun, also that she knew her husband would "pull the plug" on her Internet if she went too far. I had mentioned that some people might just flirt with her, and not really be interested in Cryonics. She was highly flirtatious with me, and I assume that she was with others as well. I know she was with Ben Best, he also had given some warnings-but sadly sort of flirted back (not overtly, just saying he appreciated her photos and such-being "too polite" or honest). I had told him that she didn't need feedback like that, and that I thought she got a lot of self worth from how others viewed her sexually. I had hopes that she would focus on working to set up a first responder network there in KY.
She left, no one knows where she is, but many, including her husband, strongly suspect that her living expenses are being paid for by ACS or Jim Y. and it is known that she is in CA (just not where exactly). I've not talked with her, but would love to. I know she is likely not trusting anyone, even her husband--as she is mad at him for his putting up secretly tape recorded conversations with her that she did not want put up. Even if those are taken down, they have been copied by other people and are around on the net. Maybe they can get some professional help, some therapy and mediation. There are serious allegations of child abuse and neglect from her husband, some worry that he did not do enough to protect them, he is loving and caring for them now and says they are talking more, are more explorative of their home and less fearful after she left.
He really wants her back home, loves her and says he will start over and forgive her. They will likely needs some therapy too though if she comes back, they will still have things they are hurt and angry over and it would be good to set up better communication tools so the same thing would not ever happen again. He feels it is his fault for not monitoring her, but that also would have made her feel controlled and she needs to make her own decisions in life.
I do not think she is being held against her will, and even though Amanda is emotionally troubled at times, she is smart. In the conversations she had with her husband, she wanted him to trust her, that she knew what she was doing. I'm sure she has more of a story to tell and it will be coming out.
I do not normally post things about other people, what I think they think and such, without their permission. I want to note that Shannon Blevins did give me permission to write about their situation and what went on with ACS.
Now, on the Satanism thing, I don't know--apparently one of the leaders or ACS, Edgar S. used to be in the Church of Satan. I've not heard anything to suggest that he is still active. Amanda calls herself atheist, and this is upsetting to her husband--I've not heard her (in the recently recorded phone calls with her husband) call herself a Satanist.
I hope her stepson is moving on with her life. The house they were in for a few days near CI is not a crackhouse, that is a silly accusation (of which there are many on the RR forum). The man who lives there is a father, who raised his children (all successful adults now) as a single parent. He is a really sweet guy that I met at a conference once and I'm sure he not only has never been in COS that he would not know much about COS, what it was, what they believe etc. Amanda's stepson is not currently talking with his father, so hopefully they will be able to make up. The past few years though in their home were intolerable living conditions, with the secret relationship being carried on between the step mother and step son. They too, would benefit from professional help.
I never played "health counsellor" I just tried to be a friend. I don't "market cryonics" either, I'm a member and a volunteer, but have never been in a paid position or actively tried to "sell" cryonics or get people to sign up. Recently I had a friend I skate with that was interested, I told her about all the funny accusations, and talked about the realities of the two main organizations--how I think it has a almost zero chance of working, etc. Some people are just interested in trying it though, and will sign up on their own--usually after contemplating it for a few years.
Well, I've got cookies in the oven, need to go get our roast on our dinner plates, and currently have 7 kids in the home (I'm taking them skating after dinner).
I can answer any questions that I know about though queensblade. I do prefer talking with people who stand behind their real names on the net, but know there are sometimes cases where a person needs to keep their identity concealed, there are a few in cryonics who still feel the need to do so. I'm sure with time as the community keeps growing and professionalizing that will change. There are a lot of great, upstanding people within cryonics--and only a handful of the more sensationalist types.