cause i got seldom reactions to my postings and they've been seldom deleted (something wrong with the board ? doesn't matter:)
so let me start: if i did enter different other nd-net-places, boards and chats, soon something like a controlling body arose asking: are you fan >:-[]
the harder they asked the more i asked myself; how to declare myself and why?
the more they've tried to drum into my head to be nothing but FAN and part of the fan-family the more i did reflect about it, cause that line of action went exactly according to my current life-philosopy's thoughtprocesses and grew nearly to frontlines 8-]
didn't i know well what family means? they haven't ever been like my family, not at all.
and didn't i know what friendship means? they haven't been friends of mine, on the contrary yet.
and have i ever been such a prescribed kind of fan fitting into that gereic term?
"we", was told suddenly, "we" would be all the same, love him the same way, do feel, dream, think, hope, wish and need the same. like faceless pap :-?
and he? he would love us all the same, all of us as the sum total of "fans".
and i say NO. nonono. the more they press the more :-no
aren't we all different, different everybody's physical and genetic fingerprints... the lines in our faces, the vibrations of our voices, our eyes, our smiles, our angers and so our l o v e s :-?
and me for example i wouldn't believe and trust in lip-services - they are just oily vehicles to glide into a fearful guy's innermost, by on his save... and the more i get under pressure the less i will pay :-]
okay, i've to work now and will write again later. the more personal part of my message.
thank you, hmm
Posted on Jan 31, 2002, 9:58 AM from IP address 145.254.236.59
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