1974 those imaginary walls of world-outlook, built by education and conventions, were getting thin and i got back the sight of early childhood too, again. and things i've lost came back; and memories and the love i've lived for, coming into being again and again; and the human-being i could only trust and believe in; and whilst a special love and special happenings occured to me inquisitive people started to watch it and to follow my tracks and they filled out the space of distance between the one i love and myself. and nailed down by believing and trustful waiting for him, people who did deny what didn't happen to themselves tried to come to know me and to unveil my mystery, but how could they see by using an intestinal probe? they did occupy my life, take away every chance to live it self-determined; and so i had to leave it, to lead it from outside like my own puppet-show, waiting still in a state between trusting belief and hopeless despair for an unmistakable sign of knowing and understanding from the one i looked out for. and so on and so on...
i did bend myself under a honesty undisguised humanbeing searching for his way... - they never brought me on my knees to bend myself under vainstardom...
but for a better understanding i will write those thoughts upon my homepage:-} read there "marie's story" soon and have some laughter. it would be too late i guess to cry. hmm
Posted on Nov 30, 2000, 4:58 AM from IP address 62.104.219.87
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