Singing beauty:
http://www.scientainment.com/ptsongbook.htm
When Isaac Newton wrote
The laws that we all quote,
It's now extremely apparent that he
Neglected to consider -- Relativity.
What focused our attention
On the fourth dimension?
(We'd been doing so well with just three.)
'Twas Mister Einstein's brainchild -- Relativity.
And who would think
And who'd forecast
That bodies shrink
When they go fast?
It makes old Isaac's theory
Look weary.
http://www.scientainment.com/ptsongbook.htm
No-one's as dee-vine as Albert Einstein
Not Maxwell, Curie, or Bohr!
He explained the photo-electric effect,
And launched quantum physics with his intellect!
His fame went glo-bell, he won the Nobel --
He should have been given four!
No-one's as dee-vine as Albert Einstein,
Professor with brains galore!
No-one could outshine Professor Einstein --
Egad, could that guy derive!
He gave us special relativity,
That's always made him a hero to me!
Brownian motion, my true devotion,
He mastered back in aught-five!
No-one's as dee-vine as Albert Einstein,
Professor in overdrive!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PkLLXhONvQ
We all believe in relativity, relativity, relativity.
Yes we all believe in relativity, 8.033, relativity.
Einstein's postulates imply
That planes are shorter when they fly.
Their clocks are slowed by time dilation
And look warped from aberration.
We all believe in relativity, relativity, relativity.
Yes we all believe in relativity, 8.033, relativity.
Pentcho Valev wrote:
Building beauty:
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/hutchison/080616
"Like bronze idols that are hollow inside, Einstein built a cluster of "Potemkin villages," which are false fronts with nothing behind them. Grigori Potemkin (17391791) was a general-field marshal, Russian statesman, and favorite of Empress Catherine the Great. He is alleged to have built facades of non-existent villages along desolate stretches of the Dnieper River to impress Catherine as she sailed to the Crimea in 1787. Actors posing as happy peasants stood in front of these pretty stage sets and waved to the pleased Empress. (...) The science establishment has a powerful romantic desire to believe in Einstein. Therefore, they are not only fooled by Einstein's tricks, they are prepared to defend his Potemkin villages. A Potemkin village is a pretty picture to fool the gullible romantic. Einstein was romantically infatuated with pretty pictures. He deliberately sought theories that were aesthetically beautiful in their harmony, symmetry, and simplicity. He romantically believed something akin to Keats' famous poetic summation: "Beauty is truth and truth, beauty."
Institutionalizing beauty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w
Silly Walks Applicant: "Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it....I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly." Silly Walks Director: "Mr Pudey, the very real problem is one of money. I'm afraid that the Ministry of Silly Walks is no longer getting the kind of support it needs. You see there's Defence, Social Security, Health, Housing, Education, Silly Walks ... they're all supposed to get the same. But last year, the Government spent less on the Ministry of Silly Walks than it did on National Defence! Now we get 348,000,000 a year, which is supposed to be spent on all our available products."
Selling beauty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Worshipping beauty:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/jul/26/healthandwellbeing2
"Everyone thinks that Einstein was so smart. Let's examine this. What was his big contribution? Everyone knows that: the theory of relativity. This theory states that, when moving near the speed of light, everything is related. For example: say your uncle is moving at the speed of light. Then he is also my uncle. Also, our uncle, moving faster than the speed of light, becomes smaller and goes slightly back in time, to the moment just before he accelerated past the speed of light, at which time he goes back to his regular size. This can be a good or a bad thing, depending on the original size of one's uncle. The other theory Einstein developed was Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, which stated that Einstein felt unsure about Heisenberg. Heisenberg responded with his famous Einstein's Annoying Theory, which stated that Heisenberg found Einstein hard to take. Some believe their dispute originated when Einstein tricked Heisenberg into travelling faster than the speed of light, thus decreasing Heisenberg's mass - and Heisenberg was already quite small. After Heisenberg came back from travelling at the speed of light, Einstein could hold him in one hand. And often did, to Heisenberg's consternation, causing Einstein to formulate his Heisenberg's Consternated Theorum. But history proved Einstein wrong, since there is no such word as "consternated". The idea that mass decreases as one approaches the speed of light is compelling, especially for dieters. It implies that one way to lose weight is to run, briefly, at the speed of light. As stated above, the downside is one will also go back in time. So you'll be lighter, but may find yourself in the 1400s, when everyone was lighter, due to malnutrition, and no one will even notice you've lost weight. Also, due to your modern clothes, you'll probably be declared a witch and burned at the stake. On the bright side, post-burning, you'll achieve your lowest body weight. Einstein once explained relativity like this: "If you're sitting on a hot stove for even a minute, it will seem like an eternity; but if you're sitting on a hot stove with a pretty girl, your ass will burst into flames and not a girl in the world will seem pretty. Trust me, I've tried it." Part of Einstein's mystique was his tendency to wander around completely lost, hair sticking up, playing the violin. Heisenberg tried this but was too small, well-organised and balding, so ended up with neat hair, dragging his violin behind him, sure where he was. And hence Einstein is remembered as the greater genius."
Pentcho Valev
pvalev@yahoo.com
