due to circumstances beyond my control (hey, YOU try and control my disorganization), i must aks y'all for some information, which i may've already akst for before. DEAL WITH IT, or face a fine stiff. err, stiff fine.
please cut out this next bit, fill in your info, and send it back to me PRONTO, or that fine stiff will be slapped in your face repeatedly until you start behaving like i like.
NOTE: i am on the road from april 12th 2001 through early summer 2001. please submit information that will be current for that time frame only. any information you are not comfortable passing to me will be held against you, for i am spiteful and easily hurt.
if you simply don't want me to visit, fine. i am accepting cash donations of $50 or more to stay away. th---
07) please indicate the preferred voice communication choice from items 6 and/or 7:
08) your typical hours of usefulness to me (the hours you are available for communication at each above number):
09) if you were to be stuffed into bags and buried in the desert, how many bags (of a standard kitchen size, say 10 gallons or 25 pound capacity a piece) do you think would be required?
10) if you were casting the movie version of your life but could use only actors whose names start with "b" or "c", who -regardless of height issues- would play the midget you have stashed in your closet?
11) consider three items: a) soiled cabbage, b) a pelican, c) trent reznor. now consider the following: "when i think of myself, my life, and what i've done with it, i realize that in the end i'll most likely deserve to be bludgeoned with (choose one): a, b, or c."
12) from time to time we are obliged to include questions submitted to us by various government agencies (which have nothing to do with this survey or it's authors), solely for the purposes of civilian profiling. with that in mind, please consider and answer the following: if you were to be abducted and taken to graceland by some randomly-occuring person, would you consent to wearing a rather classy beaded jumpsuit and proclaim yourself "Back home, 'Cilla! C'mon let Daddy in!" loudly and repeatedly at the gates (some improvisation may be required)?
13) true or false:
14) existential or surreal: russet potato
15) do you really think you answered #13 correctly?
16) complete the following statement: "i am as likely to swallow that bundle of neutrinos as YOU are to spit up ___"
17) if you were suddenly in charge of the star trek entertainment franchise with no limits imposed upon you by the powers-that-be at paramount, what changes would you make to both the movie and television divisions to make them compelling to your own tastes?
18) if you found $1000 in cash on the sidewalk in a poor section of town, would you spend it all on booze and whores?
19) goldfish are not gold in color, nor are they fashioned out of the metal. are you sick of the lies?
20) true or false: if men and women and the various races are ever to be considered truly equal to one another, we must do away with judgements based on physical criteria... thus relying solely on matters of the mind (personality, intellect, etc)... eventually resulting in a completely bisexual society.
thank you for your swift attention to these issues.
please submit answers to: comfyd@aol.com (david) within 24 hours or face fine stiffs, up to and including all of it.
this message will self devolve.
30 minutes from now, it will appear to have been written on a slate.
david/snooker
note: you can reply here, if you want, but also PLEASE send me an email.
t'anks!