The New Evolutionists Recruit!!!

by Jonathan Zimmerman

 

As I sit back after getting that PhD I thought would make me superior, I get a bill for over $1000.00 a month for student loans. Fuck, Ive got rent, utilities, car payments, insurance, etc., and now this too!!!

I feel so stupid, Peter Jennings never finished High School, and Bill Gates has no PhD.

I realize I simply regurgitate the Hymns of Evolution that I convinced myself was "education". But since I know them so well I call Bos Hogg, but he tells me my PhD is marginally marketable and there are few job opportunities available.

After selling crack for a few years, finally a job as an evolutionist comes up. But my student loans have nearly doubled, with being in default, and all those interest charges are a bitch!!

Most of my evolution friends work in libraries, banks, and as used car salesmen, so I was "lucky" to get this evolution job.

I do feel a little guilty for falsifying evidence in favor of evolution. But my pride and ego that made me think others were jealous (who knows perhaps I just convinced myself of this?), I just could not stop my impulses to FALSIFY FALSIFY FALSIFY!!!!!

Besides, I enjoyed the Evolution Is Fact Club! The conferences, lectures, and the adreneline rush one gets when MY research gets published in a peer reviewed journal. Its almost better then sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I need help for this fuckin addiction to falsify evidence in favor of evolution. BUT I SIMPLY CANT HELP MYSELF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Posted on Aug 3, 2006, 10:59 AM

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