OOC: OK, I just wanted to say that while the character of Oscar Vilde is modeled off slightly off Irene's character Oscar Milde, he is not him.

Mr. Vilde is my own character.

Thank you for taking the time to read this disclaimer.

P.S. This is a roleplay based on my fanfic "What's Your Sign?".

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A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY THEATER
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-~-~-~@ OSCAR VILDE PRESENTS @~-~-~-

THE IMOPRTANCE OF BEING HONEST
------------------------------

The rodents of the play

MADAME RATBURN a wise old Gypsy sage
MANNY MOE a lying trickster
PIAS Madame Ratburn's best friend
THE MATCHMAKER a cynical sourpuss
AUBURN PATTERSON a friendly bartender

SOME SUITORS
A SINGER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACT ONE

Madame Elizabella Ratburn is sitting at her dinner table, eating breakfast.

Madame Ratburn is 86 years old, & she is a Gypsy psychic. She wears a purple turban & scarf, as well as a green dress with patches.

Just then, Manny Moe, a nasty 22-year-old con mouse, comes into Madame Ratburn's Gypsy wagon.

MANNY MOE: My goodness, Madame Ratburn! Did you hear the news?

MADAME RATBURN: I don't need newspapers. I'm a psychic!

MANNY MOE: Yes, but didn't you hear about the Queen's new proclamation?

MADAME RATBURN: WHAT new proclamation?

MANNY MOE: The one that says that all female Mouse Gypsies over the age of 85 have to get married, or they'll get exiled from England!

MADAME RATBURN [frightened, jumping out of her chair, & running outside]: Good Gods! I have to find a suitable husband, & QUICK!

[Madame Ratburn rushes over to the nearbu Matchmaker's house to find a suitor]

MANNY MOE [nastily, chuckling wickedly to himself]: When will Gypsies EVER learn?

How are you today good sir?

Quite well, madam!

I'm working on this play right now. I'll be adding to it as I go.

And this time, those theater stuffed-shirts will finally see the true artist in me! (pretends to laugh wickedly)

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"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

I've never seen you that you're truly are the artist.

Yes, darling.

I lot of mice say I can't write a good poem or a play because I was born poor.

Sometimes mice can be cruel.

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"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

(touch Oscar's face gently) Don't be discouraged. Everyone will love you so much.

(kisses Oscar's cheek)

Thank you so very much! You don't know how much your words mean to me!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

I love you!

(kisses Oscar's mouth and lips)

Thank you so much! (blushes again)

I guess I love you too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

Thank you my love.

OOC: I've got an idea MA. Let's make this roleplay about the opera like I saw The Phantom Of The Opera yesterday and it was a musical that we can all roleplay our characters and make them sing. What took you so long?

OOC: That's a GREAT idea, Kylie!

We can do it tomorrow!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

Bon soir, Monsieur Vilde! I am Deniece la Chauve-souris and I see you're putting on a play. May I volunteer to act in it?

Oh! Hello Deniece! How are you today? Me and Oscar Vilde were just playing.

giggles

Why, yes, you may certainly be in my play!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

Thank you, monsieur! Where do we start?

We can start at Scene 1, for starters.

Let's make it longer, & add some more lines.

And we can also have Manny Moe sing a song at the end of the scene called "Gypsies Never Learn"!

It can be a mean, nasty, anti-Gypsy kinda song.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

What part do you want me to play, monsieur?

There's only two women in this story: Madame Ratburn & a singer at the Rat Trap.

(I would've mentioned the Matchmaker, but you wouldn't want to play her. She's a witch! )

So...basically, you got a choice of Madame Ratburn or the singer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

I'll be the singer.

All right then, here's this song I want you to sing:

When we were young
You were the one
I wanted to call my own...

We fell in love
It was nice
But then your heart 'came cold as ice

I saw you with another girl
'Twas the end of my perfect world
And despite my pain, the passion lingers on

And with that other girl
I'm sure your head swirls
With dizziness, my heart tells me our love can't go wrong

Why do I feel this way?
Just maybe you'll come today
For me...

Remember me this way
I'm sure you'll come today
For me...

And for all you know
I love you so
Don't let it end too soon

You really have to know
I miss you so
Especially when I gaze upon the pale night moon...

Baby, I love you
And miss you
More than anything right now

To hug you
And kiss you
Would mean the world right now

Why did you have to go?
Why couldn't you let me know
How much you cared for me...
How much you miss me...

And I'm sure
I miss you just the same...
Love ain't just a game...

Don't mind what they say...
I'll love you anyway

No matter what happens
Our love will soon shine through
And soon you'll love me too...

(It's in Scene 4.)

All right then, shall we start on the script?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

I got it. Let's start!

All right, Scene 1 will be worked on ASAP...

Just after I tell everyone why my name's been changed.

All right, now, the reason I no longer go by Oscar Vilde is because I need to go by a more regal name. Vilde sounds too...low for a mouse of my status.

And now that that's been cleared up, let us begin!

Just as soon as I find that infernal manuscript! (digs around in the garbage to find it...unaware that it's on top of the "stage")

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"One's style is one's signature always." - Oscar Wilde

"If Irene doesn't find out the truth & forgive me for certain incidents, I'll just DIE!!" - Me

Witty Sayings By Me:

The only way to understand Asperger's Syndrome is to HAVE Asperger's Syndrome.

Fantasy & fiction are real, & reality is fiction. That is the doctrine of life as it truly is.

People who say certain things are "fictional" actually believe they exist, but don't want to admit it.

Attention is 1% nagging, & 99% bragging.

When I was 15, I didn't give a darn about school. At 16, I want to pass in everything. That is how much I have matured.

I have watched baby cartoons my whole life, & no one has laughed at me.

I like broccoli; other kids hate it. I guess I AM a tad unusual.

hands Oscar Willington some papers Is this what you're looking for, monsieur?

Oh! (blushes) Thank you, Madame La Chauve-souris!

All right then, so here's Scene 1. I've marked some editors' notes for it.

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-~-~-~@ OSCAR VILDE PRESENTS @~-~-~-

THE IMOPRTANCE OF BEING HONEST
------------------------------

The rodents of the play

MADAME RATBURN a wise old Gypsy sage
MANNY MOE a lying trickster
PIAS Madame Ratburn's best friend
THE MATCHMAKER a cynical sourpuss
AUBURN PATTERSON a friendly bartender

SOME SUITORS
A SINGER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACT ONE

Madame Elizabella Ratburn is sitting at her dinner table, eating breakfast.

Madame Ratburn is 86 years old, & she is a Gypsy psychic. She wears a purple turban & scarf, as well as a green dress with patches.

Just then, Manny Moe, a nasty 22-year-old con mouse, comes into Madame Ratburn's Gypsy wagon.

MANNY MOE: My goodness, Madame Ratburn! Did you hear the news?

MADAME RATBURN: I don't need newspapers. I'm a psychic!

MANNY MOE: Yes, but didn't you hear about the Queen's new proclamation?

MADAME RATBURN: WHAT new proclamation?

MANNY MOE: The one that says that all female Mouse Gypsies over the age of 85 have to get married, or they'll get exiled from England!

MADAME RATBURN [frightened, jumping out of her chair, & running outside]: Good Gods! I have to find a suitable husband, & QUICK!

(Personally, I think that we should have more dialogue between Madame Ratburn & Manny Moe.)

[Madame Ratburn rushes over to the nearbu Matchmaker's house to find a suitor]

(I think I misspelled "nearby". We'll DEFINITELY have to fix that!)

MANNY MOE [nastily, chuckling wickedly to himself]: When will Gypsies EVER learn?

(HERE IS WHERE WE CAN PUT IN THE NEW SONG "GYPSIES NEVER LEARN".)

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So, why don't we start with the song?

OOC: Is that suppose to be Deniece's part?

OOC: I'm kinda confused here. What do you exactly mean by "isn't that supposed to be Deniece's part"? :?

You said in the last part "So, why don't we start with the song," remember? You're asking to start with the song, but I don't know if that's a song you want Deniece to sing. That's why I mean by "Is that suppose to be Deniece's part?"

No, let me clarify: I was talking about Manny Moe's song "Gypsies Never Learn".

THEN we do Madame Deniece's song. In Scene 4.

But for the interim we do Moe's song.

Does that help?

OOC: May I also play Manchester Maurice singing "Gypsies Never Learn?"

OOC: That seems cool though.

That would be great, too!