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Obsessed

January 21 2006 at 12:55 PM
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  (Login Riverfanalways)

I wonder and worry why I am so obsessed with River. I just have such a strong connection to him. I know alot of other people feel the same way. River truely was an angel on this hellish planet. Something had to steal him away.. he was too good 4 this world. He left a gift.. a huge gift. We all hate that Rio did drugs. But he was still innocent.. so many good, honest people luv him.... not slime bags... we can forgive him.

 
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AuthorReply
Jiggy Jam
(Login JiggyJam)
Morbidly Boards Moderator

Re: Obsessed

Score 5.0 (1 person)
January 21 2006, 3:32 PM 

Are we for certain he wasn't hell on a heavenly planet?

 
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Kelsey
(Login iloveriver4life)

Re: Obsessed

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January 22 2006, 11:46 AM 

are you kidding? river was great!! its ok ...........ive recently developed an obsession for him as well.............i guess it just happens

 
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(Login -majik-)

Obsessed

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November 15 2007, 4:31 AM 

i dont know why i'm obsessed with him too he was very great at his movie Stand By Me

 
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(Login Riverfanalways)

Re: Obsessed

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January 27 2006, 2:51 PM 

jiggy stop : )

 
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(Login Riverfanalways)

Re: Obsessed

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January 31 2006, 3:08 PM 

I was thinking about what jiggy said.. river being hell and i just wanna scream. Why do u come here jiggy.. does it make u feel better to constantly degrade River. You must have low self esteem. Sorry to say that. But i am getting tired if your rude comments. We all have a opinin but that is just wrong. WHY JIGGY?

 
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(Login JAIYDE)

Forgiven for WHAT?

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January 31 2006, 6:39 PM 

I do'nt usually join in on forums.I just observe,but River is an exception,especially when some of you believe that he has something to be ashamed of, or that he was to blame for what happened to him ,that we should find it in the goodness of our hearts to forgive this beautiful,poetic,victimised boy...forgive him for what?to forgive is just as horrific as the blind society of sheep we live in,believng the media and conditioned into believing all victims of drugs or suicide are stupid,bad,disgusting garbage..what society do'nt realise is we are to blame..i am involved in the film/music industry and have lost people i knew,it tore my heart out,young creative people that are explioted and used by the record and film companies,by the media and by the public..i just pray that a guy i know that is living the nightmare today,survives it as we'll lose yet another special,creative ,young poet..who are we to judge..FORGIVE WHAT?

 
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(Login jok93)

my thoughts

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February 28 2006, 4:18 AM 

Its so easy to get obsessed with Rp , i understand. Its quite annoying, actually.

 
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(Login christellephoenix.)

Re: my thoughts

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October 4 2007, 8:22 AM 

I feel same thing Colleen!

 
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Troubled...
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SERIOUSLY!

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December 14 2010, 5:21 AM 

The original poster is really onto something...

The following is the strangest experience I have had in my life. I am deeply disturbed and troubled by it. Kinda confused and concerned. Something strange is going on...

I have to open with some facts about myself for context.

I am no fan of movie stars or celebrities of any kind. I have never desired nor collected any autographs, pictures, books, regarding celebrities, etc. I am not interested in trivia, bands, or the names of people in bands or movies. Don't give a rat's ass about celebrities basically.

Additionally, I am not an overly spiritual person. I am not into ghosts, spirits, the occult, contacting spirits, paranormal activity, etc. Just never had an interest.

I am a married professional with children. I was born in 72. I don't have much time in my life to waste on silly internet activities or hobbies. I don't have any interests that would compel me to waste any significant time doing so. (no offense intended to anyone with hobbies)

Here's the thing. I'll try to do my best to describe this accurately and concisely;



Out of nowhere, sometime in late Oct this year, I suddenly became "aware" of River Phoenix... but it truly is more like, "possessed". Not with his soul or likeness - but with this drive... this crazy frantic quest for information. A crazy impulse unlike anything I have ever done or felt in my life...

I became literally obsessed with researching every possible detail I could find. Before I realized what was even happening, I had spent SEVERAL DAYS researching and gathering info... searching... for something... some truth... it was almost as if I was under some kind of "spell". I was driven...

Not for info about him as a star... it's hard to describe. I am not really sure exactly what it is I am driven to look for. Some info.. Something incomplete... something lost... I am not sure.

I don't get overly emotional. I am a relatively reserved person. Suddenly I was overcome with this enormous feeling of sadness and regret... hard to put to words exactly. I am a grown, mature professional man - and I find myself feeling these overwhelming emotions filling me - but they almost feel as if they don't originate from me. I'm not crazy!

I am thinking to myself, what the fuck? have I lost it? What's this crazy quest for info that suddenly took over me? Sure, he's a cool guy, good actor - but respectfully why should I of all people give a shit? It's not like I want to be a fan - or I am suddenly "really into a celebrity" - it's more that something is telling me to find something... as if he is asking people... something. Like his soul isn't resting or something.

So I start to research this phenomenon... it turns out this same exact strange occurrence has happened to numerous people across the world, in different countries, in all different age groups. People who never heard of him. Old people. Young people. Suddenly obsessed with this quest for info or some strange drive. One guy - the same thing happens to him at age 48 - he goes with it - and ends up devoting several years of his life to "the quest" and publishes a book. He talks about how this obsession made no sense to him at the time either - and from what I heard his book also recounts a list of people affected in a similar way.

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text. I have not mentioned this crazy shit to anyone for the fear of sounding - well, crazy! lol. Sincerely though. From my heart. River is trying to say something. Something fucking huge. He seems like a really cool guy with lots of fans - but I think the fans and people get lost in his celebrity, and may not be getting his message. The guy is fucking reaching out for help or something.

For his energy to reach someone like me means that this shit is important. I seriously feel something is... incomplete.... or unfinished... or needs to be uncovered? (it doesnt feel like a distinctly negative thing... but something hella important)

F*ing weird *ss sh*t people!

 
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Perplexed123
(Login Perplexed123)

I think I understand

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January 8 2011, 7:41 PM 

Sorry for the long post.
I, too, have had this pop up unexpectedly. I have not become overly interested with a celebrity that I have never met, not that I've met many, but if I meet someone, I like to look them up, nothing creepy - just a bit of info out of curiosity, but this is different. I have also felt compelled to find the truth...I agree with you that there seems to be a component missing or something. I was not a huge fan of any celebs at that time, though I remember Indiana Jones - I watched it with my father, but I didn't follow anyone.
For some reason, just out of the blue about a month ago I began You Tube-ing old songs like tunes from The Animals and Procol Harum. It wasn't long before Ben E. King's video Stand By Me came up as a recommendation and I listened to it, of course, as it is an amazing song. I happened to pick the one that was re-made after the film's success (which I had not seen), but I noticed the two boys who seemed singled out. I also picked up on the charisma that one of the boys had (& no I'm not a sick-o, I'm just a run-of-the-mill professional who is married, born in '77) and I was drawn to look into this, for no reason whatsoever.
Having heard of the movie, I wondered if the kids might have been part of the film, so my search began there. I learned that the boy was River Phoenix...he appeared to be so comfortable with his guitar and being on that stage beside the legendary B.E. King. I mean, you could see even then that his talent was undeniable. I have seen a bit in the industry as I have friends in the business, so I've met a bunch of people trying to get their break, but what this kid had was like nothing I had ever seen. You could just tell that he had that special something. All this just after a short video.
Of course, futher recommendations on You Tube led me to further River Phoenix information and my search continued. I don't know what this is about, but it is kind of freaky. I am glad to have found this board and your story as I have also been keeping this to myself.
How is your search going?

 
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(no login)

not alone

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April 12 2011, 9:35 PM 

wow, it is kind of a relief to find out that I'm not alone out there feeling this way.
I was 12 when I first started having interest in River and I was 13 when he died.
I have always been a big fan but as the years went by I drifted away from it and became occupied with other things.
When I was 24 my boyfriend at the time was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident and the grief and pain from that experience took over for a long time. I still think of him often and how he was not supposed to die so young and had so much going on for him.
I am now 31 and married and I recently stumbled across some of my old paintings of River on a River fan site on the internet. I was amazed that it is still there after so many years.
Since then I've been possess with sadness and feeling of loss all over again and can't get him off my mind. I can't speak to my husband about it because it will sound strange although he knows somewhat about my recurring interest in River. I just don't know why I keep having to look up any piece of information I can find about him all of a sudden. It is not like me to be obsessed with anything like that but I can't control it.
Looking at many of his interviews and photos I can now see the sadness in his eyes and being an artist myself and somewhat of an "outcast" growing up I can see where it comes from.
My husband is a talented artist and director/photographer who was also spit out by Hollywood after working in the industry there for years and not being able to deal with the pressures of that lifestyle anymore and battling depression in that environment.
He is very passionate about nature and the damage that we are contributing to our planet in general and I hate to see how upset he is knowing that River will be so upset have he still been here to witness the destruction and instinction of the animals and all the war and greed we deal with these days.
I am thinking of making some new artwork and portraits inspired by My Own Private Idaho sometime soon. Maybe I will share them here sometime.
I just wanted to get this off my chest since it's been driving me a little crazy lately

 
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Me too
(no login)

Me too

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April 26 2011, 1:05 PM 

Add me to the list of the disturbed. For me it started when I saw I'm Still Here. Something about it bothered me....how he jumps off a waterfall and ends up walking through a river, and is careless with drugs and wants to get into music. It all bothered me.

I was a River admirer back in the day but no fanatic. I didn't follow him. Saw Stand By Me, thought, there is something special about him" then saw Mosquito Coast and thought, "no one hit wonder, he's definitely got something special.". Never bought teen mags, and I'm a little older than him so never really crushed on him either. But somehow I saw the photo where he wrote "if you like poetry, write it. I know I'm into it." and it stuck in my mind. What teenage boy goes around advertising love for poetry? That was my inkling that he was a special person, but I never investigated it beyond that. Saw Running on Empty, thought, yes, he deserves an Oscar, then saw MOPI at the movies with my prejudiced boyfriend (long gone). Then I thought he is really, really special, what he can put up there on the screen.

Heard he died, was sad about it, but didn't cry or obsess or investigate. I was happy then, had just met my husband, and was living in afterglow. I remember being offended hearing the 911 call and seeing the tabloids while in the grocery store line. It just made me feel bad about our society but I never picked one up or opened a magazine. I went on and created a family and lived my life.

Then, after I'm Still Here, I started to feel obsessed, hungry for info, depressed, and a bit haunted by him. But nothing was ever clear enough--I could not figure out what he wanted or why i felt "contacted." I dont believe in ghosts, am agnostic, and am not interested in any of that stuff. I was washing dishes one day and felt his presence behind me and I mentally said "what do you want?" and I got no clear answer. So I told him, in no uncertain terms, "I don't like this. Please leave me alone." And since that experience I have not felt any presence , "haunting" or message from or of him.

I think it's all in my head.

I think why did I create this obsession? Then I think maybe it was real. I don't know.

After several months I have decided to make something good out of it. To pass on all my love to the living and to make the world a better place as much as I can. I am not sure if that is what he wanted but I'm thinking now that what I want to come from this experience is equally important, if not more so.

It is all very weird and still makes me uncomfortable.

 
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Brooke
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Re: Me too

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May 13 2011, 9:14 PM 

Wow a recent post. I want to see ISH but it make me sad..

 
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Noneofyabiz
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OMG ME TOO

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July 6 2011, 4:46 PM 

I know exactly what you mean! After watching Stand By Me I became obssessed with him. I CAN NOT get him out of my head. I've been researching him like crazy(which is how I found this) I 've been watching all of his movies and I just can't get him out of my head!

 
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(no login)

Exactly What

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October 28 2011, 1:47 AM 

Regarding those who posted about their obsessions with River Phoenix, we have been feeling the same ways.
Last week was the start of my semester break. This 3-week long duration gives me what is supposed to be a period of rest. However, early nights extend to late nights or early mornings. In order to battle my boredom, I decided to watch some movies I have in my computer. I remembered watching "Stand By Me" where I felt great attraction and admiration for the film and especially for River, and chose to watch it again for the second time. This second time gave me a deeper emotional attraction, something almost unexplainable -- the start of what you guys have been mentioning about. I search the world wide web for every possible information, details, and facts about his life. I downloaded his movies one at a time and would always be captivated with every performance and role he did. Am I feeling a taste of insanity? Am I feeling the abstract thing called "love" (and in this case love for a person of my same sex and is already dead)? Or what? It felt great but vague, satisfying but worrying, wonderful but emotional.
Obviously, I am also going through that "feeling" of the need to search for that "truth" and "message" that most of you have already shared. Why is it like this? What is this frightfully beautiful emotion? And yes, it is as if River Phoenix wants us to know about something.
Like what you guys experienced, I am put into this state of frenzy to know more and to seek for that answer.
It really is interesting and at the same time bothering to learn about the several similarities of our experiences. Until now I am not completely sure about what to do, but I thought of 3 options that a person like us could probably do:
1) Force yourself to forget about everything.
2) Let the obsession take control over you.
3) Control your thoughts. Take this experience as a message from our Friend

(although we never really met him or whatsoever; just watching him from his movies/films already makes him as real and alive as you and me, and possibly more)

sharing to us his wonderful soul, genuine talent, and strong beliefs and advocacy for life.

I am going for the third choice.
He has been inspiring us with his humanity. Let us not let obsession conquer our brains. Instead, let us make River as an inspiration to improve ourselves through his messages and to act with regards to his love and legacy. Let us remember him and not forget.
Courtesy from the many letters and contributions made by the "Rio's Attic" website, he had definitely imparted priceless values and lessons to the world.

"Thanks, Mr. River Phoenix!"

Let us all have a great day! =)

 
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(no login)

I am also slightly obsessed

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December 6 2011, 5:50 AM 

Well I'm glad I have company in my obsession.
Just this past week I have been frantically looking for some info on River, asking my friends what are their thoughts and feelings are towards him, mainly my friends in Latin America (I'm Australian)& most of them have never seen or heard of him. I'm not sure what I'm searching for but it feels like I will find it. In doing all this searching I get an awful empty, sad, lonely feeling. It really wasn't his time to go.
All this started out of nowhere, I can not pinpoint what triggered it, its like a light when on.
Just yesterday I was reading on his childhood in Venezuela, how they struggled to survive, how River & Summer would sing on the streets. I was in Venezuela earlier this year for 4 months visiting family, and I saw little kids on the streets doing the same thing, and now wonder how tough life was for them. And now I just want to go back to Venezuela and visit the area he lived in.

So happy to hear there are people out there with similar feelings.

 
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(no login)

me too

Score 5.0 (1 person)
December 15 2010, 2:55 PM 

it's the same for me...when River died I lost a special friend....not only my favourite actor....
For me he's the best, I love his respect for other lives...I miss him so! sad.gif

 
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chloe ewens
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Re: me too

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December 5 2011, 7:29 AM 

i will always love riverxxxxx he is not dead to me xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 
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(no login)

What the hell?

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March 3 2012, 3:56 PM 

I'm wondering. What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with all of you? What the hell is going on?

You people are saying that out of the blue, you've developed some strange fascination with the late River Phoenix? Well, you can say that I too am guilty of it.

Okay, now, I was born November 24th, 1991 making me 20 years old. Phoenix died a few weeks before I turned two. I have never watched a movie of River Phoenix.

The only times I ever known of his name at all: I am a hardcore fan of Hanson and I seen River's picture on a page of Hanson look-alikes that was on a Hanson fansite. I was 14 at the time then. I didn't think anything of the pic. And another time, I seen a clip of Juaquin (spelled it right?)at an awards show on access Hollywood and they mentioned "brother of the late River Phoenix". This was around the time frame I seen the pic.


Now let's fast-forward the years...

It was about two weeks ago, probably not even, when my uncle and I went in his car to go somewhere. When he pulled into the parking lot, my uncle stopped and sat there for a few minutes listening to the radio. I don't know what triggered this but the thought that suddenly came into my head was "River Phoenix". Pretty strange. Then I figured that that evening when I went onto the computer, I must research him.

I went onto the wikipedia for him and took a good look at the picture. "Pretty cute" was the thought in my head. I always have had a huge love for blonde haired men with similar facial features like that of River Phoenix. That's the main reason why I like Hanson so much!

I read the Wikipedia article about him. I thought that it was so sad that he died so young and such.

Normally, when I research something random online, I just look at the websites related to it once and that's it. As for River Phoenix, this wasn't the case. For the last two weeks now I've been spending most of my time online doing stuff related to him. Looking at his photos, reading on message boards, watching videos on youtube, you name it! I think about him all the time now! And while I can say that, yes, he was a real knock out. I can say that there's something more to it then that. There's plenty of times when I thought that a male was attractive but I'd probably look at his image a few times and never again.

I really don't know what the hell's wrong with me. I swear! I've asked one of my best girlfriends, whose a big Indiana Jones fan, if she's ever seen the one with Phoenix and I care very very little for this type of movies. I asked my dad a River Phoenix related question. I just can't stop this!

But I'm using my best will power not to let this fascination go to my head. I'll continue to do what I been doing, not letting it interfere with my life, and let the whole thing run it's course.

Reading what you other people wrote, I can see that I'm not the only one. I have enough problems in my life and the last thing I needed was an obsession with a deceased actor.

And here's one last thing I would like to say. This may be just random though...My mom died on September 18th, 2010. She was born on December 23rd and her favorite/lucky number was 23. Ever since then, there's many times when I look at the clock and it's at the 23rd minute of the hour. Or whenever I buy something, 23 ends up in the total. Special events have been happening on the 23rd of the month. Many other occurrences involving the number 23 too. Before she died, I never came across the number 23 like this. Now for the part where River Phoenix comes in: He was born August 23rd. He died at 23. This may all be a coincidence but I find this too damn weird.

I'd like to talk to the other folks who have/had this happening so feel free to drop me a line!

 
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(Login Rio-Phoenix1970)

i know how you feel

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August 10 2012, 2:01 PM 

hey there,
i know exactly how you feel. i've recently developed a strong connection to him, and can feel things i thought other people have never experienced before...he keep appearing in my dreams, sending me messages. one time he told me "he'd be waiting for me" in heaven when i turned 23. mind you, that is nine years away, River has been my inspiration for everything. my music, my acting, the reason i breathe. i wish to follow in his footsteps. and i really wish i could talk to some one who truly understands this feeling. every time i watch one of his movies, see an interview, or look at a picture of him, my first instinct is to break down and cry. can anyone here talk to me?

 
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