Here it is.
I love River. I really do. I love him as an actor, as a musician, and most imprtant, as a person. He was something special, I'm pretty sure most of us here would agree with that.
But he was a complicated person, he had his own demons. He even admited it, he said how he had many different personalities. He didn't know who he was. And I believe him because I've been struggling with the same thing for years now. And it's tough. Also, a lot was expected of him, and he probably found it hard to live up to people's expectations. He was probably sort of a person that thought and felt a lot, and that is the main source of pain. You know, "I think. I feel. I suffer." He was afraid of disappointing all his fans who had his posters on their walls and stuff. He was afraid of disappointing his family, since he was sort of a father figure to them, he was the one who got them out of poverty, and they depended on him. It was probably very hard to deal with all that. And yes, I am trying to justify his drug use. No, I'm not being blinded by his beauty, nice personality, or anything. I can just see very well through people, and that's why I can understand them. Drugs are a form of escapism (like alcohol, for example, and there are more alcoholics than junkies simply because alcohol is often cheaper and less fatal, you know, it usually takes longer for it to kill you). It's easy to tell people to face their problems and start living in reality, but not everyone is the same, not everyone can do that. I'm not saying drugs are good, far from that. And, do I hate River for taking drugs? Abso-fucking-lutely! No question about it. Also, none of us knew him. We actually know very little about him. Calling him bad names is very disrespectful. You're acting like those high school bullies. Which only proves you've got no sense of understanding, or common sense, to begin with. Don't hate him, but don't idolize him either. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to be an idol to kids today. He was just a man, after all. Not an angel, not the devil, but a man.
And I am angry with his family and friends for not trying harder to help him. They all knew, no need to lie about it. I know it's hard to help someone if the person doesn't want the help, but you should never give up on them! If one of my family members or friend had such problem, I know for certain that I would never give up. Especially if it was something as bad as drugs. But I suppose I should leave this because I'm sure his family already feels bad about it as it is. (I read that it took about a year for Joaquin to pull himself together after his brother's death. I can't even begin to imagine how he felt.)
About people saying River wasn't much of an actor, well, you clearly don't know what is an actor, I can tell you that it certanly isn't Miley Cyrus or some other Disney star. (God, I feel bad menationing River and 'those people' in the same sentence). I loved him since Stand by Me. He was amazing in it. But I really saw his true talent in My Own Private Idaho. His performance was just pure perfection. In scenes where his face was zoomed in, you could just see so much emotion. It's so intense. Just looking in his eyes makes me cry. Oh, how I wish he'd lived longer and made more films!
He was a talented musician, as well. He had a voice of an angel. We share the music taste, so I really like Aleka's Attic.
I don't know how to finish this post, and since I am listening to Bob Marley's One Love upon writing this, I shall finish it with a quote.
"Let them all pass all their dirty remarks
There is one question I'd really love to ask, "Is there a place for the hopeless sinner? Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own?"
One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right."
Peace and take care.