With the California weather back to it's seasonal best today was my second game for the South Bay All Stars and a lot less nerves.

Playing at Marine Park I thought it may relate to the vicinity of the beach. Nope! I think they named it because of the amount of sand there was on the pitch. Bournemouth would be proud to have such high quality sand with a few tufts of grass around the edges. But it was 27 degrees celcius at 0930 this morning so what the hell!

The pitch had more white lines tham Michael Barrymore's coffee table and for the life of me I couldn't make out the pitch markings. Soccer, Football, La Crosse, Baseball? It was definitely all four of those!!

Warm up finished,(a baske in the sun for 25 minutes)and ready for kick off.

Before I could even remember the names of my team mates we were 2-0 up! Not much action for me to worry about as the two opposing strikers were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, but the Hispanic version. A couple of corners and a few punches later, (they obviously hadn't heard about my weakness for high balls), we hoof the ball up the pitch and 3-0. This is easy. Sun tan lotion at the ready I'm looking for an easy day. Dropped the lotion at least twice, but it was slippery, honest!!) And just before half time 4-0. Game over!!

Half time team talk was in the usual 4 languages then the coach pulls me over to one side and tells me to get to know the names of my team mates. How? Julio, Giulio, Luis, Rasheed, Mike, Guy, Chewee, Jorge, Steve but no Juan's!!! All four couldn't make it today. Oh, and Chad.
But every time I just get to know their names and position the coach makes another of the 500 substitutions and reshuffles the shape.

Second half kicks off and the Schooners forwards promise me that I will get a shot to save. Two more route 1 balls in 5 minutes and it's 6-0. The defence then decides to switch off. Who was my defence? Pick 2 of the above listed names as the others smelled blood and wanted to improve their own goal tally. Suddenly we have a 5 on 2 and true to their word Tweedle Dee scores. Or was it Tweedle Dum? Who cares. It's 6-1 and my clean sheet has to wait for another day.

Before the final whistle our defence decides to pass back to the keeper without realising Tweedle Dee or Dum (they looked so alike), was still walking back from their last attack 25 minutes ago. He turns and unleashes a ferocious shot, I dive knowing full well that I have more chance of dating Kiera Knightley than getting near the ball and it hits the post and out for a goal kick. The ref comes runing over and congratulates me on a magnificent save and gives a corner!!! No wonder there are no USA refs in the world cup this year. My response to him was that if I would save a shot like that and cover the goal that quickly I would not be playing Division 3 Soccer for the over 40's!!! Corner given!

From the corner I catch the ball, launch it long and Jorge rounds the keeper for a 7-1 final score.

Shaking hands with the oppo a 'Scouser' approaches me asking me about my origins as the referee claimed I was from Liverpool. West London mate! A Cockerknee was his reply. I did ask if he knew Martin Varney but unfortunately he didn't. Then a Brummy who supports Chelsea, followed by a 'Sweaty' who just grinned and informed me on Scotlands victory over England yesterday joined the post match, pitch side drinks. So much for leaving the UK behind, they're all over here!!!

So, 2 wins from 2 games, but no clean sheets. More next week. If it doesn't rain!!

Take care

Peter

i bet you were lobbed!!! ha ha ha ha ha

Hi Pete

Good to see that you are settling in OK. When you mentioned about the 4 juans, I thought that was the score (4-1).

Im quite happy to devote a page on the Lammas website to 'THE KELLY'S', bit like the Osbournes and if you want to email me some pictures and stuff, I will post on the site, just let me know. There is an email link on the home page if you want to get in touch.

best regards

Robbo