Due to me being fat old and crap I have decided to retire from playing football as soon as we find a replacement keeper. So if anybody knows a good goal keeper then lets get them down the Lammas as soon as possible cos I dont think my knees can take anymore.

The candidate must be over weight cos the goalie shirt is really big.

From the not flying anymore pig.

pig you have had a good innings
i have found a replacement
he was at the club on sunday jim (the columbian)edwick the shirt will fit like a glove
i dont think your shit mate just fat

Flying Pig. You cannot retire at this stage. If you are not on the pitch it will expose me as being shite. At least with your howlers I can hide!!!!!!

pig you cant retire, you will miss it too much. I thought you was well up for this season? whats changed with the knee? Crowders heard the news and hes gone for a jog, you cant let this happen!!!!

You obviousley have too much time on your hands coombsy you toby. I have been slaving all morning at work whilst you have been kissing a very big ellery bum cheek.

How comes you havn't let the press know about your retirement Tigger, is it because Robbo hasnt told you yet that you have been retired. May be you should put your gloves on and go in goal Tigger.

Can anybody remember who was the last Ginger to play in goal in the premiership.

Mike Hooper ?

well done.