When I was Downsouth a few years ago, one night my aunt decided to cut my hair while i was sleeping. Funny she thought i didn't know. When i woke in the morning for school, hair was all over the bed and on my pillow! But no, that didn't really give it away. It was when i went to the mirror to do my hair for school after i finished washing up; and i realized that my hair miraculously grew two inches up! Also, i remember waking up in the middle of the night and i glanced at my aunt who was laying behind me and she whipped her hand behind her back so fast that you would think she had a gun. After that, i was waiting for her to get up and run, but a second after she whipped her hand back, i heard a sound like metal hitting the floor. I knew instantly that it was a pair of scissors that had hit the
floor, because i was very familiar with how certain things sounded when they hit the floor. See, a pair of scissors has two parts , right, and when they hit the floor the part that hits the surface first sends a distintive sound through the second half, thereby scientifically revealing that two parts exist to the metal that hit the floor. Explaining this kind of reminds me of how i discovered my inner spirit of God, whom i utterly adore. But, anyway. Back to the story! So, my favorite aunt who's one year older then me cut my hair while i was sleeping. I thought to myself, how could she do that? My aunt was like my best friend to me, like an extra part of me , but now she's another person in addition to all the people in my life that have betrayed my trust. I never told my aunt i knew what she did
because i loved her so much, i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, plus im not shallow. Also, i didn't want her to get shouted at by my mother or anyone in our family. So, i just rolled over in bed that night and thought to myself all night, i can't believe she (my aunt) cut my hair! and then she had the nerve to pretend she was combing or brushing it for me: in the middle of the night! I actually found it kind of funny! I can't remember whether she had a comb or a brush that night, but, i do remember her playing the evil fairy hairdresser in the middle of the night. Anyway, i just let her continue to brush my hair because it felt good; like a scalp massage or something. After a while i fell back asleep. Luckily i didn't wake up bald! I did my hair that morning and went to school that day.
Almost everyone i knew was asking "china, you cut your hair?!!! Why?!" and so on. Some were heaping insults. All day they were ridiculing me because the back of my hair was shorter then all the rest of the hair on my head. My aunt only cut the back shorter! Please, take a moment and picture that. 1 2 3 seconds... I looked stupid!!! It was so embarassing. Then after my terrible day at school after some of the oldest family members noticed my hair was short, me and my mom had to go through ridicule all month by them untill my hair grew back. My mother got blamed for cutting my hair by certain ignorant family members every other day. I felt bad about that for a long time. It was like a negative domino affect from what my aunt did and all the dominos fell on me. Some fell on my mom. I didn't feel real bad about my
hair. I wasn't real angry at my aunt. What i most felt bad about was me, sitting around everyday letting my mom get constant ridicule and blame for something she didn't do. She got a bad reputation by family members for nothing! Untill this day, like every few weeks, my mother still nags me about how i let everyone blame her for cutting my hair! Now this whole hair thing happen like around year 1996 and were in 2006 and she still keep bringing it up! Im like damn!!! So that's part of the reason why i decided to write this story. The other reason is to record it, and share it with others and get it out of my head mainly so that it will no longer be a demon plauging me and my moms relationship as mother and daughter which i truly value. It's important to share your story to unleash the beast (let go
tortures of the mind!). Everyone in the past that saw my ahir and knew my mother kept saying to her "why you cut that chow hair?!" and my mother would have this degraded look on her face and then shed say she didn't cut it over and over again for the next month or six! and me, i just kept quiet like as if a muzzle were on my mouth. Silence is how i would always handle a bad situation. I later came to realize, silence allows evil to flourish in some situations! Silence can be inner turmoil, inner hell and so on. I learned silence is not always the best way to handle or ignore a "bad" situation, especially when it affects others. I would try to black out everything bad that happened to me and focus on the positive. If I got beat, sexually abused, cursed out, spit at, slapped, and poisened which
happened to me also, id just black it out! Blacking out and holding things in became a unhealthy way to handle situations for though, because later on, including now, i would continue to black out involuntaringly while cooking or working or doing anything. Life is hard, but i learned that's the wrong way to alleviate pain. I felt sad all the time. Revealing the truth is freedom! Freedom from inner condemnation! Never again will i be silent in any bad situation! Having my hair cut short in the back of my head
placed laughter and ridicule where there once was praise. I don't know if this is what my aunt desired or why she did it and i still love her dearly, but looking back; what I realize and
learned most out of this situation is that "I should've exposed the truth and not have let a lie infiltrate everyones minds!" To let a lie multiply like a disease affects people in the worst way! and when it affects the people that you love most and hold close to your heart, it's time to fess up! - THE END
By China Alicia Rivera
6/13/2006
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