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who completely IGNORES me, when I ask her to do a simple task or try to tell her NOT to do something. Argh!!!! It's like she's feigning deafness, only I know she's not. I can whisper her name from across the room and she'll turn towards me, so I know he she hears fine. Ugh, I hate the "selective hearing" thing we've got going on. I thought her behavior issues would be resolved (at least a little bit) by getting her thyroid re-checked & making sure she was on the correct dose. We've been on the new regimen for over a month now and not much has changed. Time-outs really don't work because I also have Katie toddling around getting into everything, so I can't always sit by Sarah & make sure she stays where she needs to be. I find myself YELLING to make myself heard, but that goes on deaf ears as well. And even when it's something serious, like trying to get a knife out of the drawer, she acts like she can't hear me. It's not like I micro-manage my kids' daily activities. They have plenty of free time, where they can make a huge mess of their toys if they want to. I let them feed themselves, because they refuse to let me feed them, even though it usually ends up in a huge mess. I thought I was giving them enough freedom where they didn't feel stifled. I don't "think" I'm giving them too much freedom either. I don't know. Does anyone have any tricks that they can share with me? Cause mine aren't working anymore.
Re: Ok, I'm going insane, pls tell me my child isn't the only one...
January 10 2008, 9:08 AM
Johnny's hearing impaired but still has selective hearing.
I do understand your frustration.
Have you tried giving her enough time to respond to the command as well as giving a simple, one step command in a low and firm voice without a lot of extra "wordiness" in the order? I think I got that from Susan People's book "How Children With Down Syndrome Learn". (I think that is the title...something like that)
For example: Instead of saying "Johnny, do your pants need changed? Are you wet? Stand up, go get a diaper, and bring it to Mommy" I need to totally cut out all the extra sentences and words and say, "Bring Mommy a diaper". Then let it sink in for at LEAST 30 seconds to one full min. or so. I may need to repeat the exact same words a couple of times. It's not that he's being bad, not listening, or disobeying (sometimes ) but he is processing what I said, what he's heard, what he's going to do, and then how he's going to do it before he brings the diaper to me. That's a lot going on!
NOW, that said, there are times I tell him something and he will look at me, stand up and bolt high speed into the other room and shut the door behind himself laughing. That is just a three year old thing....
Aaron was/is king of selective hearing. I always thought it came attached to the male chromosome
what I do is get down in front of him and make eye contact and tell him what I want. I've done this for years. I don't have to do it all the time anymore, but if he's not listening, I still do it. As his speech got better, I made him repeat my request. She may be able to do that with some words or short phrases. That way you don't have to yell, you know they've heard you, and you know whether punishment is necessary or not. HTH
Vicki, mom to
Aaron, Jacob and Kaelin
"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."
You just described my house. I can whisper "cookie" in the kitchen and he'll come running. But "Off table", "Scoot back", "Put down the milk" doesn't register. I do find making eye contact and I mean right in front of his face works. And then the other day he was sitting in the frontseat because we were in Daddy's truck. We were at the McD's drive thru and he tried to open the door. I yelled NOOOOOO! and it must have been different because his lip popped out and he never tried it again. Of course my NOOOO was echoing off the outer wall of McD's so it must have broken the sound barrier. Sometimes I think I'm onto Max so much because he's into stuff so much that he tunes it out. And he gets lots of freedom. And he has a little brother so I understand not being able to be a consistent enforcer. Hopefully this is just a phase. When he runs outside and I yell STOP! I really think he hears GO FASTER!. Oh well. You are not alone.
"Sometimes I think I'm onto Max so much because he's into stuff so much that he tunes it out." This is my exact thought about Sarah. I HATE that I am on her so much. I don't like being a domineering person. That's not how I was raised and I don't want to raise my kids like that. Of course, I was an only child 10 months of the year so that might have had something to do with it.
I feel bad because it seems like I have to lock the kids up, whether it be in their rooms when they're in bed, or in their booster seats at the table, in order to get anything accomplished. I constantly feel like I'm taking 1 step forward & 2 steps back, and I know that attributes to my harping on the kids. I just kept the girls in their seats after lunch about 30 minutes longer than they were eating so I could clean out the fridge. We're moving in 2 months and I have NO idea when I'm going to get the free time to go through the mountains of boxes we have in the house & get rid of stuff & pack everything else up.
I don't know if it's working or not, but I got an idea from another board about how our kids sometimes don't register every word we say, ,they really only hear the first & last words. So when I say, "Sarah, get off the table" all she's really hearing is "Sarah" "table". She didn't hear "get off". So, I'm trying to rephrase how I say things to her, with "NO" being the last word she hears. So now I say "getting on the table is a NO". Like I said, I'm not sure if it's working, but I'm trying to stay calm with my voice and get at her level, too. /hug Glad to know we're both in the same boat. Although I'm looking desperately for the nearest port, cause I want off!
