Cory's Book of Original Situations, Verse 1

It was Thursday night. Prom was a week and a half away, and Steve didn't have a date yet. He sat at home, moping and sad that the girl he loved had rejected him.
Carla shut her math book with a loud "thud!" Mr. Heckett had assigned too much homework, and she was too tired to continue. She lay down on her bed when a knock came at the door.
Michael had brought over a present for her, just out of the blue. He had been known for doing that. Carla took the gift gratefully, knowing that his parents had given him the money, like they always do...
Kelly showed up and put her arms around Michael from behind, dragging him backwards a bit. He mumbled protests as Kelly had her hands around his mouth. Carla stepped outside, very mad that Kelly was trying to steal her boyfriend. "Excuse me!?" she yelled. "What is going on here?"

Kelly shouted back. "He's mine!"
"No, he's MINE!"
"No, HE'S MIIIIIIINE!!!!"
Michael interrupted them, because he had managed to make it over to a bush in Carla's yard. "Hey, are these berries edible?"
Both the girls looked at each other, then pummeled Michael relentlessly. Steve saw it from the window of his room and ran outside. Kelly was all over Michael? And Carla too!? Enraged, he broke it all up and picked Michael up by the lapels. "You better stay away from Carla and Kelly, you hear?"
"B...but I was just picking berries when they jumped on me..."
The girls tried to calm him down by backing up Michael's story.
"So you mean you jumped on him? You'd rather jump on him than ME?" He puffed up his chest - or tried to, but it made him look 40 pounds heavier instead - and he scattered up his injured pride and walked back into his house.
Everyone outside burst into laughter and kept it up for 5 minutes. Finally, Michael asked, "So can I have a berry from this bush here?"