epfunk (Login epfunk) from IP address 22.214.171.124
Weirdest thing happened to me a few weeks ago.
Life in the S.V.U. Unit hadn't been going so well lately. I'd been working on a case for months with no leads. It was becoming clear that I ain't no Colombo. In a last ditch effort I'd even gone to the media.
The District Attorney wasn't pleased.
Eric, take some time off! Get away! Maybe a vacation will do you some good. After you take a break you might see the case from a new perspective and possibly see something you hadn't seen before.
I thought, Maybe he's right. Why not? I hopped on a train straightaway to the Newark airport booked a flight to the only place I could think of that I'd really want to go...
Nine hour trip summed up:
Flew over this:
And landed here:
Napoli! Pozzuoli specifically. I lived here for a while in the mid 90's. It's a second home to me. No, I never bought a Panerai while I was there. Like an idiot, I squandered almost all of my Lira on booze and chasing girls with very little success. Truthfully, at that stage of my life I'd have traded most of my possessions for very little so I can relate to some of those stories about vintages. All in all though, it wasn't a bad way to spend your early twenties.
This is a photo from the apartment I stayed at when I was there. Naturally I headed straight back. But it looked different from when I last saw it. Older maybe... or younger? And it was empty.
So after dumping most of my stuff off there, I went down to shore to check out the scene. On the way down I noticed that in fact everything looked differently than how I remembered. And all the cars were cinquecentos. Very strange but I like it! Best car ever made.
As I get down to the boardwalk I notice this young girl sitting there:
She looks like someone I know grew up in this town but I can't quite place her face. Strange. I feel dizzy. Maybe jetlag. Maybe vino? Next thing I know I'm riding through town up the hill on her Vespa. Wait is that a logo? Is it a sign?
Unfortunately she passes right by the Solfatara and keeps going.
I think we're headed towards the Lago D'Averno if I remember right...
Yep, theres the Temple to Apollo:
The Romans believed that this lake was the entrance to the Underworld. Virgil talks about it in the Aeneid (Look it up Luke, I know you are lying about those Latin classes).
Next thing I know she hands me some old scuba gear. Smells even older than the Cinquecento and Vespa fumes on the way up.
I'm wondering where the hell this thing has been, but I dont really care what I'm wearing really because she's changing into this... :
Lucky for me I brought two perfect watches for this adventure. First, Gush let me borrow his 217 for a month. It's true people. Gush will let you borrow watches. Just email him, I'm not lying. Really, do it! Flood his email. Maybe he'll even lend you his vintage.
But I love THIS watch! My grail of the modern set:
The second piece I brought, another good friend back home lent me for the trip:
What you don't believe me? Im about to go scuba diving in the Lago D'Averno in Italy with Sophia Loren and this is what's tripping you up? You really are a watch geek!
Fine! If you want the truth, Gush and Eng wont give you their watches for vacations. I was probably wearing my trusty old 111 that I wear just about every day but the two above are the best Panerai has ever done PUNTO and BASTA.
I love this watch even if it has been described on our beloved site as "disposable". Here's the photo someone took at the moment I opened the box. I love my shiteatingrin. Makes me laugh when I look at it.
And truth be told, if I am swimming into hell I hope I'm wearing it with one of these two straps and this buckle made by really great personal friends that I wouldnt know without having found p.com.
So I strap on the 111 and I jump in feet first:
When I get in the water I realize I'm alone. Sophia ran off. I know this was too good to be true!
But I figure if I'm down here I'll take a look around and get a sneak preview of what awaits me...
I'm starting to get lost down here. A lot of caves and it's getting HOT! I'm confused. Then I see the angriest lookin dude I've ever seen. Scares the bollox straight up inside me. Hard to describe but looks a lot like this guy as a matter of fact.
(That's Hades Luke. I said look it up! C'mon stay with me...)
So, I hightail it outta there as fast as I can.
Finally I see an opening and head for the surface:
When I hit the shore I figure I must have drifted out into the bay of Naples. I hadn't been underwater that long. Im hoping I've washed up on Capri.
Nope, definitely not. Maybe Ischia?
Not there either. How about Procida?
But this island doesn't even look like anything in the Mediterranean and there isn't anyone around:
Crap, a woman's done me in again in Italy. And I'm starving. I wish I would have eaten before I met that blasted bird... If I could have, here's what I would have eaten.
My perfect Italian meal:
Most definitely a Negroni to start it off. 3 equal parts Gin, Campari and Vermouth with a slice of orange on the rocks. Perfection. All alcohol. Two and Im ready for food and wine. Three and I'm ready to party.
I'd have Prosciutto di Parma and Mozzarella di Bufala as an app. This is from Raffaele's place in North Bergen, Trattoria La Sorrentina (Shill #1 !!!):
Primo and Secondo? My wife's family Sunday Gravy with a nice bottle of Barolo:
That's what I'd really want in Italy.
But if I could pick any restaurant in the world, I'd hit St. John's in London. Ferg. 'nuff said. Meet me there in September.
I don't eat dessert so I'm washing either meal down with beer. I love a good cask ale like Timothy Taylor's. Had quite a few of these at the DBA this year!
But if I'm stuck on this island what I'll really eventually start CRAVING is a Guinness. But only if its poured properly and not by some student in a sports bar. Barkeeps please take note. They do it right at Banter in Crooklyn (Shill #2 !!!):
See, if you don't adhere to this method you will end up with something like this travesty that I had put in front of my a few weeks ago. Disgraceful. She told me it would settle. Best believe I F@#$%ed this right back to her.
Sorry for the tangent. Thank you for letting me vent.
Since I just took all that time thinking about food on this Godforsaken desert island I'm famished. Good thing I wore my Special Edition Ian Brown kicks (it's a dream right?). These laces might help me catch some fish. Maybe slice up those golden IB's for a shank.
Speaking of Ian Brown, love him but my damn iPod must have gotten wet. It's only playing two songs.
Fortunately for me they are two of the best.
1)The Clash - Clampdown. There other Clash songs like White Man or Complete Control that you might like better but to me this is the only band that matters at their finest:
2) Next, I'm staying punk. One of my favorite bands ever, originally known as The Pogue Mahones. Pucker up!
I love this song because when I hear it I think about growing up with my Mom. I think about my wife (we danced to it at our wedding). I think about friends I lost along the way and I also think about the future. After this song comes on, it's just about as sentimental as you'll ever find me even though that sort of contradicts the song. I know. That damn Shane playin tricks.
Anyway, here's me and Mom:
And here's the Pogues - A Rainy Night in Soho:
At this point I reach into my pack and find my favorite photo of all time. It hangs on my In-Law's fridge at their house. It's the two of them together with me and my wife.
What you don't see me? Im there!!! Well my left arm anyway. Yes, they cut me out of the photo. I know, I'm clearly their favorite...
Whatever, I'll use it as a bookmark for my favorite book.
As a kid it was this:
Recently it's been anything by Milan Kundera, a Czech writer (Shout out to Pea-Day Praha 2012)! But for this trip I brought Crime and Punishment. Read it a few times and love it but want to read this new translation and haven't gotten around to it yet.
I'm not in the mood to read though right now and luckily my iPod has a movie on it:
Dammit, not that one! I hate when people find my stash.
Actually the only movie I can watch over and over and over is the Big Lebowski. Therefore it must be my favorite. Don't know why...
One of my favorite Panerai related memories (or lack thereof) was this year at the Montreal GTG. I have no idea what time in the morning it was. I'm thinking 4AMish. I remember someone throwing a heel at me. I remember cracking the crystal on my watch. I remember fire trucks and broken elevators. I remember eating at a sandwich shop and not knowing if I paid for my food. That's what I remember. What I don't remember hardly at all is taking this photo. And that my friends is what I love about GTG's and these "geriatric friendship bracelets" that bring us together.
So on this island I have great music, good books, great watches and great memories but what I don't have and the only thing I'd really truly miss is my wifey Danielle. She's a beautiful, vivacious, dynamic woman and a real punk rock chick. Better than Sophia. Honestly! Chuck A told me I married up. True.
That's me and her and a Panerai. We've been together for over 11 years but just entering our third year of Marriage. In keeping with the Italian theme I'll tell you that the third does seem to go a little like this...
And that's how this dream ended. With a kick in the ass in the middle of the night.
I know it was long. Hope you made it to the end.
Now, because the Clash are still playing as I'm typing this and I'm feeling a little punk rock, I'm bucking rules right here and now and picking someone for the next Desert Island Dream immediately. Scroll Down to see who >>>>>>>
That's right. It's Boxing Day so I'm kicking it back across the pond to the UK. Looking forward to it Paul! January 2nd 2012 New Years Edition.
This post was brought to you by the Pozzuoli (NA) Council of Tourism and The Please Hurry Back JF and Sidekick Association. Also I stole the scuba photos awhile ago and cant find the owners. Sue me.
Eric, hai fatto il grande lavoro il mio amico! Magnifico! Bravo!
"Life's an adventure, you might as well wear a Panerai"
Richardson Hwy, Valdez, Alaska-- The Brooks Range via Dalton Hwy Alaska--Prudhoe Bay/Deadhorse Arctic Ocean Alaska--Dawson Cr, Mile Marker '0' Alaska Canadian Hwy Alberta Canada--Yukon Territory, Al Can Highway--Crossing the Yukon River via The George Black Ferry from Dawson City--Poker Creek, population 2, furthest northern border crossing in Alaska. The Forty Mile River Region/Top Of The World Highway
Your sleuthing paid off. Congratulations on winning >>>
December 26 2011, 1:49 PM
N.C. man could face up to 90 years in prison after 2010 Irvington torture incident
Published: Thursday, December 15, 2011, 9:08 PM
David Giambusso/The Star-Ledger By David Giambusso/The Star-Ledger
NEWARK A North Carolina man could face up to 90 years in prison after a jury found him guilty today of sexually assaulting and torturing two women he restrained in a basement apartment.
Anthony Massenburg of Louisburg, N.C., was convicted in Superior Court in Newark on 14 counts, including attempted murder, aggravated assault and sexual assault after breaking into a basement apartment in Irvington in January 2010, tying up two women and sexually assaulting them over a four-hour period, the Essex County Prosecutors Office said.
This was a horrific crime involving two innocent women, said Assistant Prosecutor Eric Plant, who tried the case.
Massenburg, 40, and three accomplices allegedly broke into the apartment looking for the tenants boyfriend. When she would not reveal the mans location, she and another woman in the apartment were tied up with zip cords, their mouths and eyes duct-taped, and they were sexually assaulted and tortured.
Massenburg attempted to drown the girlfriend in the bathtub, the prosecutors office said in a statement. He also used a plastic bag to suffocate the friend until the girlfriend agreed to call her boyfriend.
Two of Massenburgs alleged accomplices were never identified. Another was acquitted. Massenburg is scheduled to be sentenced Jan. 23. The Essex County Prosecutors Office will request three consecutive 30-year sentences.
Het mate a thoroughly enjoyable read...............
December 26 2011, 10:49 PM
right up to the point when your ugly mug appeared alongside my car!! Seriously Eric, a great D.I.D mate and loved the wedding photos, Chuck was right .
I have a bit of work to do, thanks for the honour, I'll do my worst
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole,
with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose" Winston Churchill