Im trying to reach the R.M. (not using your full name as its a public forum) ne "joe_cracker" who wrote the infamous TLOC that was popular on the IGN boards, and I think I'm in the right area (you're a hard person to find!!) My name is Marcus Finley, and I'm with The AVClub from The Onion, and we're adding a portion on internet memes and we would love to feature the whole TLOC drama that transpired. Also, someone burned a copy of your "Unknown Monster" movie and it has been circulating the office; and we think it's charming and have developed an affinity for it.

The reason I'm writing is I'd like to get a couple of quotes from you, of course you'll be credited in the piece.

1)How do you feel about the way things transpired with TLOC, from the IGN threads to Cellburger Studios making the TLOC animations without your input?
Is there still life in your Light of Courage saga?

2)What can we expect from of Joe_Cracker/963 Productions down the road? Any projects (TLOC or non-TLOC) you're working on? I ask because your internet records seem to drop off around mid-06, and this site doesnt seem to be maintained.

We get alot of traffic at our site, and this exposure could further your career. I hope to hear from you soon, good luck in your creative projects!

Regards,
Marcus Finley

Robert, I hope we hear from you soon; I would have contacted you directly, but you don't seem to have any personal contact info on your site.

All I can tell you is that the script won't be called "The Light of Courage" I could call it "The Beacon of Courage"(fake plagerist title) but it one thing is clear. All the best movies have a video game to help sell it, films like Transformers, Spider Mans 1, 2, and 3, Pirates of the Carribean, X-Men 1, 2, and 3 and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Server.

I will announce this now, I won't make a Zelda Movie unless I can make game based on the movie. And the Zelda game that I produce will be exclusive to Nintendo, that is unless Microsoft and/or Sony are willing to pay nintendo some big bucks as well.

So not only do you plan on making a Zelda movie, but you also are planning on essentially circumventing Nintendo's entire internal development process on perhaps their most profitable IP, all to support a movie?

And you assume there's a chance that Sony or Microsoft would express interest and purchase rights to a Nintendo property, in what would be the most groundbreaking, shocking thing to probably ever happen in the video game industry, all in the pretense of getting your movie made?

This is amazing, I didn't know you had that kind of pull. You need your support base back! We here would love to see you post more at IGN.com; we've become enamoured with your devotion in the face of reality and economics.

J_Cracker I've begun writing the "Saga of Joe_Cracker" piece for our site and I just realized you didn't even answer the two questions we asked in the first post; could you maybe address those?

Q:
1)How do you feel about the way things transpired with TLOC, from the IGN threads to Cellburger Studios making the TLOC animations without your input?
Is there still life in your Light of Courage saga?

A:
It was something that I thought would never happen because no one knew what this thing was about and video game based movies are often judged as being demening and not being faithful to the original story. When Hollywood Pictures released the Super Mario Bros. movie that stared Bob Hopkins, it was the first movie that was based on a video game and I happen to be one of the people saw it at the theater. The one thing I don't like about it is the cliffhanger ending when princess Dasey comes back and wants their help. A sequel was never made. Films such as Street Fighter didn't prove to be a long term sucess and now capcom has licesed it again as a live action film. When I saw the first animation I was suprised and to here my own voice behind Majora's Mask was awesome. The second one I was involved in I was the voice of Eian, Triforce of Courage, and Tingle. The third animation was a masterpeace, it wasn't me that voiced Majora's Mask in the third but the guy they got sounded like me. If that guy could do my actual voice then I would like to meet this guy cause he could save me alot of work in the future. I don't think that it's over though because dancingtriforce.com has anouced a forth animation. I don't know if it will involve a scene from the script or something they have written themselves, I would like to hear from Aron aka cellius in the future on TLOC4 and other stuff.


Q:
2)What can we expect from of Joe_Cracker/963 Productions down the road? Any projects (TLOC or non-TLOC) you're working on? I ask because your internet records seem to drop off around mid-06, and this site doesnt seem to be maintained.

A:
1)If you mean this site in particular, then your right I haven't been on it since the time you stated for the execption of announceing my plans for current and future 963 titles for HDDVD and Blu-Ray disk release. As far as TLOC goes, it will not be produced unless it can be cell-animated by DIC to look like the cartoon show. Plus I am planning on a writing another Zelda movie script, aside from getting movie rights from Nintendo I am not just aiming for Zelda, I am also looking at trying to make Super Mario Bros. into a movie both Zelda and Mario to be CGI plus I am looking at Metroid, but I want to do Metroid as live-action and I have also thought about who would play Samus if the movie was to me made now Either Megan Fox from Transformers, Elisha Cuthert from The Girl Next Door and 24 or Summer Glau from Serinity.

2)Right now 963 Productions is in a pickle. I am looking to obtain funs to buy it back from my brother Andy and give it life but here is the problem, I need 3 Million dollars for myself and 38 Million to fund 963 Productions and keep it the way I entended it to be. One thing I want to do is to make the tools for professional filmmaking avalible to the public, so far Canon has released a HD camcorder called the HV20 which records 24fps video to a harddrive or minidv tape. Dark Blood is still on the table as a project, plus I am struggling to get VoiceOver Insanity on DVD but I am having problems with the whole 16:9 widescreen DVD and the 5.1 surround sound mix. Plus Frits and Pits has rapped but I need two new hampsters that looked like the originals because they are both dead because hampsters don't live long. 963 in it's current state is on life support, ever since the actions of Cellius and his friends and jealous IGN moderators sales are down and their is no way of getting out of it unless I had the ammounts written above. Plus I am trying to get funds from private investors by going under the name aceofspades at go4funding.com and I just bought this program I saw on TV here is the link to it: http://www.jeffpaul.tv/ all in attemts of re-igniting 963. It is impossible for me to work my magic here.

3)I am curretly working on a sequel to the Unknown Creature, plus I am doing some major revamps to Dark Blood script. Simply in Love is clearly years away. I am also working on a time travel movie. Plus I am writing a book on newly reformed princables for indie/low budget filmmakers. I am also involved with an animated Double Feature deal kinda like Grindhouse but as a more like PG and PG-13 type humor with Andy writing and directing the first feature and myself writing and directing the second feature. Plus if I get the funding I need I could make Dark Blood and the animated double feature as Theatrical releases. If anyone you know has that type of funding and is willing to work out a deal then let me know.

Robert, we've uncovered some indication through some more online research of you that you may be fraudulently representing yourself, even for commercial purpose. We don't consort with or reimburse people acting in facilitation of fraud or another offense. As a result, we will not be publishing our feature piece about you on our site. This is unfortunate, and we wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Regards,

Marcus Finley,
www.theavclub.com

Well you could but then you would be depriving yourself of some online traffic.