A Bo and Hope fanfic written for New Salem's 2006 Winter Wonderland challenge.

Prologue

She sat on the couch huddled with a blanket. The picture frame clutched to her chest while the tears fell. Weeping for what would be the first Christmas without him. The first Christmas without her little guy. How was she going to survive? She couldn't celebrate Christmas without her youngest son with her, or her husband. The wind howled outside and she could hear it echoing through the house. Alone. That's what she was. All alone. No one by her side. Her husband was with another woman and their child, her youngest son was in the cemetery and her eldest son was off at the Merchant Marines, following his fathers footsteps no less. God how she wishes he doesn't ever make the same mistakes his father did. The fire was crackling and slowly dieing down. The room slowly going dim. Her heart could no longer take it. She had no one. Hope took the blanket and wrapped it around her more securely. As the last of the fire had fully died, her decision was made. There would be no Christmas for her this year.



Chapter One

The air was cold and swept throughout his body in one gust. He didn't care. It didn't make much of a difference since he couldn't feel it anyways. He walked aimlessly through Salem trying to get his mind wrapped around what went on through this whole year.

His son was dead, his wife was gone and his eldest son didn't give a rat’s ass about him anymore. His life was gone. Why did he have to cover up for Chelsea? Now that she knew he'd help her out, Chelsea was reckless and out of control.

Billie doesn't seem to mind. All she ever did was call Bo over when ever she "thought" Chelsea needed help. That was every two minutes. On more than one occasion Chelsea wasn't even at their house and Billie had something on that didn't cover up half of what really didn't need to be shown.

Looking up to where his feet had taken him, Bo's eyes were filled with shock. He was at the cemetery in front of his son’s grave.

Tears filling his eyes, "Why!! God why did you have to take my little boy! It's not fair. It's just not damn fair!"

His anguished cries echoed through the graveyard now as he dropped to his knees sobbing for his dead son, his soon to be ex-wife, his eldest son and the life that he once knew to be the best thing in the world.

Now all of it was gone. He sobbed even harder, his hands into fists beating the ground. Asking over and over and over why. "Zach, I'm so sorry. I failed you as a father. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me"

Choking back the sobs just to get his words out. He couldn't handle it any more and just fully let go. The past years events taking a toll on him.

It was now the realization that dawned on him. He did it all. It was his actions that created this whole mess. "NOO!" It hit him like a ton of bricks. All was lost.

~*~*~*~*~

Hope starred out to nothing while in a ball on the couch. She felt so light like nothing mattered. In reality nothing really did anymore. Just then she heard a knock at the door. Whispering to herself "If I just sit still they'll go away." "Hope, honey I know you're home. Don't ignore me and let us in."

Rolling her eyes Hope threw the blanket off her and got up. She swung open the door. In front of her were standing Julie and Gran. "Hey guys. I'm really not feeling good today, sorry for the trouble it took you to get here, but I'm not up for company."

She was closing the door when Gran's cane came in between. "I don't think so dear. Now's a good a time as any to have family to help you out." Stronger than she looked Gran opened the door practically knocking Hope to the side.

With food in both women's hands they went straight into the kitchen while Hope mumbled to herself. "Sure, come right on in." Slams of cupboards were being heard in the kitchen while Hope walked closer towards the door. Opening the door she saw Julie looking in cupboards for plates and Gran sitting down at the table where she joined her.

She crossed her arms on the table and put her head down. Julie stopped what she was doing and looked at Gran. Gran rubbed Hope's back lightly. "It's okay. Everything will be alright Hope. You just have to have faith."

Looking up at both women with tears threatening to fall from her eyes, "That's just it. I've run out of faith. I've run out of prayers and I've run out of strength to even try anymore. I can't do it. I just can't-"

She was cut off with her sobs that took over. They racked her body fully. She hadn't cried in front of anyone since this whole mess began and now she just couldn't hold it together. "Honey it's okay."

Julie spoke with a soft tone. "Christmas is coming soon and then everything'll be alright. Perfect in fact. Just hold on for a little bit longer." Hope sniffled and controlled her sobs to just a few tears. "NO! No more strength no more nothing. And especially no Christmas.

Not this year. Not EVER again!" Getting up from the chair so fast it toppled over back crashing to the floor. She almost sprinted out of the room up the stairs and locked herself in her room. Curled up like a ball on her bed she cried for all her losses.

Christmas wasn't going to fix anything this year. She didn't know what made her look at her dresser, but she did. Oh and did she regret it. There was a picture of her and Bo at their wedding.

Their Christmas wedding. The happiest day of her life. It was a lie. All a lie. He didn't love her, he never did. She grabbed the picture and with all her might threw it across the room with a soul breaking cry.

The picture smashed against the wall and the glass broke into a million pieces as did her heart. Love wouldn’t prevail this time.

Love wasn’t enough and she just felt as if everything she believed in her whole life just betrayed her. In one swift moment it felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under her and she was in a free fall.



Chapter Two


Cheatin' Heart was noisy as usual, but it didn't faze Bo. He sat there nursing a beer. It was November 25 and already the damn bar had Christmas decorations. How pathetic.

After he got himself composed at the cemetery, he came to the one place no one would ask questions. "Hey you!" He pointed to one the bartenders. "Give me another." "Sir I do believe you've had enough for one night" "I'm the one who's paying here, so that makes me the one who says when it's time to stop. And anyways I'm not driving. I'm not that stupid."

The bartender looked at him funny for a couple of seconds and then gave up and gave Bo what must have been sixth beer. This was the only way he knew how to handle his situation. Looking up at the mirror that was above the bar he saw his reflection and he looked like shit.

His eyes were bloodshot with a new shade of red. His hair unkempt and totally disarray. Not as if it was ever kept neatly. He hadn't shaved in over a week and his beard was a mess too.

It didn't matter to him. Who should he look good for if the only person in his life wasn't there to see him? He screwed up royally and now he was paying for it. He looked at his watch and saw the time to be way past midnight. Damn. If I don't get to the pub soon Ma will wonder where I am and let the questions begin.

Sure he was grown, but that didn't mean he didn't like his mom or dad prying into his life. Knowing fully well they were trying to help, but them just telling him he messed up and he had to fix it didn't help much. He really understood the real meaning of Bah Humbug!

The one man he really had everything in common at this moment was Scrooge. Getting up from his stool he staggered a little, but got his balance. The bottle in one hand he started walking out of the bar when he heard that very familiar shriek. That one sound that came from the person who created this whole mess in the first place.

Turning to where he heard it come from he looked out in the middle of the floor. Anger blazed through his eyes. Chelsea. She was out on the dance floor with at least three big guys all around her. Too close for comfort in his mind. Touching her.

Hell she was only sixteen for Christ's sake. She didn't seem to mind at all. Laughing and giggling when one of the three whispered something into her ear. Slamming the beer bottle on the table closest to him he walked up to where she was dancing. "What the hell are you doing!?!"

Turning to who was talking to her Chelsea's mouth was agape. Squeaking out "Daddy." "Don't Daddy me! Now what the hell are you doing here, with them!?" Then one of the burly men spoke up. "Sir, do you have a problem. I'd sure as hell be happy to settle it."

"You three want to settle a problem. How about this for a problem. This girl that you three have been dancing with is under age. Sixteen in fact. How would you three like that as a problem?" Bo took a hold of Chelsea's arm and led her out. The three men shrugged it off and chose another woman to dance with.

Swinging through the doors with a hold still on Chelsea he couldn’t imagine what went through her head to make her go to the Cheatin' Heart. He was so lost in his thoughts he barley heard what Chelsea was saying. He snapped his head around to her, "What!" "Daddy, your hurting my arm." Her whine was so unbearable. Letting go of her arm forcefully he exploded on her.

"What in god's name do you think you were doing in there? What if one of those men had done something to you. I can't even imagine how irresponsibly stupid you just were. You know that's not the only time I can think you've been stupid. I-I just can't believe a child of mine would turn out to be this way. How did this happen."

"I'm sorry Daddy." Her tone was more sarcastic than sorry. He knew what she was like now. So manipulative. "That's it I'm taking you home." He got into one of the awaiting cabs in front of the bar not caring who it was waiting for. They sat in the cab while it was driving for a full five minutes of silence.

Turning to Bo, Chelsea knew she had to do something. He looked super pissed. More than he was ever before. A light bulb clicked in her ever so empty brain. She looked out her window for a minute and turned back to Bo. In a hushed tone she spoke, "Daddy, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing. A bunch of my friends persuaded me to go with them and I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry." A few tears rolled down her face. Looking at her Bo thought She really knows how to play her dealt cards. Not this time.

"You know what Chelsea I'm beyond angry at you right now, so don't even try to apologize for anything right now. I'm afraid if you do I'll say something I might regret." The rest of the ride was filled with silence. Bo was thinking about his situation at hand while Chelsea was thinking on how to sneak out again after she was dropped off.

The cab stopped in front of a town house that he was very familiar with and hated himself for that. They both got out and stopped at the front door while Bo knocked. "Daddy, why don't you just use your key, or I will. Here." She pulled out her key and was about to slide it into the lock. Bo stopped her and fiercely said "No." She knew he meant it.

Hearing footsteps he got ready to see the sight in front of him. The door opened and Billie just stood there in the skimpiest nightgown that could ever be available. "What?" He obviously could tell he had awoken her which gave him a slight satisfaction.

"I found Chelsea at the Cheatin' Heart. Dancing with men that looked to be 30." "They were 25 mom. Daddy's over exaggerating." "You two know that you could have used a key and no disturbed me for this crap." "I think it's about time Billie that we actually had a conversation on Chelsea's behavior. As a family." "You know what Bo."

She poked him in the chest to get her wording across. "I think Chelsea's just fine. So she has fun once in a while. It's not as if we didn't have fun when we were younger like that. Cut her some slack." "When we were younger Billie, times were safer."

By this time Chelsea had already slipped away upstairs and was sitting at the top of the stairs. "If you're not careful Billie she might end up like her dear old grandmother." "Excuse me!"

At that comment Billie flew off her handle. "How dare you bring my mother into this. She has nothing to do with anything. Bo Brady I swear to you-." So infuriated Billie didn't say another word and just slammed the door shut.

Bo just stood there shaking his head. His life was a mess. In shambles lying right in front of him and no matter what he tried to do he couldn't pick up the pieces and make anything better. Getting back in the cab, he told the driver to take him to the Brady Pub. His new home.



Chapter Three

Hope sat outside on the porch swing. The breeze lightly pushing her back and forth. After Julie and Gran had left at her request she gathered herself to make some tea and sit outside.

That had been over two hours ago. Her thoughts swirled her mind was boggled. Why did this have to happen to her? Of all the things she and Bo had gone through, their love had pulled them together. Not this time. Her heart broke over and over again just thinking about it.

She ran out of tears and just sat there with now cold tea in her hands. She pulled the blanket closer to her as another breeze flew through her. In that breeze a light adorned it.

It floated down towards the porch and stopped right in front of her. She stared at it in awe. In a flash the glow was adorned with a person in it. Looking closer her eyes shimmered with tears she thought she no longer had. “Zach.” Her sons name a whisper on her lips.

With a childish giggle that filled the night air he came running towards her. Arms open she felt his warmth as they hugged. Tears came down her cheeks one after another unable to stop.

Her Zach was in her arms. Here with her. “Why are you crying mommy?” “Oh honey. I’m just so happy you’re here.” “I’m always here. Where’s daddy?” “Daddy’s- Daddy’s not here.” “Where’s daddy? Work?” “No baby. Daddy and Mommy-”

She couldn’t tell her precious child that his parents were no longer together. “Mommy and daddy fight?” “Sort of honey.” “Me make better!” With an enthusiastic cheer he hugged his mother tighter. “No worry mommy. I love you.”

That was enough to send her over. She burst out into sobs. “I love you to Zach. Always and forever.” “Daddy and mommy together soon.” Zach wiped away the tears that had fallen from Hope’s eyes.

His hands were warm; he was smiling and had an amazing glow around him. He was happy. “Me always here.” He put his hand over her heart. “And there.” With his other hand he pointed towards the sky.

With a gentle kiss on her cheek he walked backwards and with a wave he said, “Bye-bye mommy!” and he slowly disappeared. “NO! Zach. Please baby come back. Mommy needs you. Zach!”

She awoke with a start. Almost falling of the porch swing. Feeling her face the tears were there and she could feel the kiss that her little guy had placed on her cheek. “That couldn’t be a dream.” She whispered to herself.

It felt so real. And yet she had no proof that said it was. “I’m losing my mind.” She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. Picking up the fallen cup and blanket off the floor she headed inside for a bath.

She needed to calm down. Opening the door a gust of wind went through her and in that wind a giggle flew with it. She turned around looked out into the night. No trees were moving no leaves were shaking. Someone had to be playing a cruel joke on her.

Shaking off the feeling she entered her house and the voice that she wanted in her house again came to her in an echo. “Mommy.” A warm feeling went through her body. And a smile adorned her face.

Her baby was okay. She knew it. Walking upstairs towards the bathroom for a well needed bath outside a lone snowflake fell. The first one of the winter year.



Chapter Four

Hope came out of the kitchen after putting her cup away in the sink. Passing the couch she saw Zach’s little teddy bear that she had been holding earlier that day.

She picked it up and went up the stairs. Entering his room she switched on the lights and looked around. Nothing had changed. Everything was where it was. Absolutely nothing moved. Going over to his bed she lay the teddy bear down at the center of his pillow.

She smoothed out his bed and turned towards the door. She stood at the door for a good ten minutes before she closed the door for the first time. Her had traced over the letter in which spelt his name at the front of the door.

Taking a deep breath she entered the bathroom and turned on the tap. Going back to her bedroom she grabbed what she needed and turned back to leave. As she did she felt a sharp pain enter her foot.

“Damn it!” Looking down she saw she had stepped on a piece of glass. Sitting down on the edge of the bed she looked at the piece. Thankfully it was a small one and she took it out only a tiny bead of blood came out.

Wiping it away she bent down to pick up the rest of the pieces. Grabbing the trash can beside her bed she knelt down and starting picking up the glass piece by piece.

Careful to note if there was anything still on the ground. Then she got to the piece that she knew she didn’t have the heart to throw away. She picked up the frame with the photo still firmly inside of it and stared at it for what must have been half an hour.

In her heart she knew she had to move on. He had his “new” family now. He probably didn’t think of her at all. With a heavy heart she kissed his picture and traced the outline of his face. Closing her eyes she let it drop with a thud into the can. The same thud that her heart felt.

With a heavy sigh she stood up and put the can back where it was. Carefully she noted that she’d later vacuum her bedroom. Picking up her essentials needed she headed towards the bathroom. She turned on the taps to warm and added bubbles scented with lavender.

While the tub filled she tied up her hair and stared at herself in the mirror. What was so unlovable about her that he had to go and run off into Billie’s arms? Smoothing back the light crows’ feet that adorned her eyes so wondered if plastic surgery would ever be an option for her.

Quickly she dismissed the silly idea and turned to get into the tub. The warmth enveloped her and she was grateful. The tension that was on her shoulders almost immediately left. Sighing she let her mind drift. Not caring where it went.

At this time nothing mattered. She just needed five minutes of serenity and then she’d be fine for a couple of days. Everything was silent in the home, what used to be a rare moment would now be something she’d have to get used to. Unbeknownst to her a single tear fell from her cheeks.

She wondered what her beloved Bo was doing. She couldn’t help herself from wondering. It wasn’t her right to know anymore. He would know soon. The papers for their divorce were soon on their way to him. The hardest thing she’d ever done in her life was filing, signing and sending those divorce papers.

It had taken her almost two and a half weeks just to do that. After about an hour or so in the tub she got out. She just wished she could stay in there longer, but knew she couldn’t. Dressing in her pajamas, she went to her room. Pulling back the crisp cover she got in.

She lay there with her hands folded across her stomach while looking up at the ceiling. Once in a while she looked at the clock to know how long it had been since she last checked.

The absence of the warm body she’s been used to for so many years beside her wasn’t there anymore and she felt out of place without him. She didn’t belong without him. He was her whole. Sighing she turned to her side and closed her eyes. Knowing that sooner or later sleep would have to come.

~*~*~*~*~

The silence was deafening in the quiet room. He couldn’t stand it. This couldn’t be his life. It was a bloody nightmare. He knew he had to do something to get everything back to the way it was.

Or at least somewhat of what it used to be. This couldn’t be the end. He couldn’t accept this as the end of his life for anything. He’s a Brady damn it and a Brady always get what they want no matter what it was.

Nothing would stand in his way. Bo was determined to no end in his mind to try anything he could to get his Fancy Face back. She was his and only his. No other man would ever take his place in his life and he’d make sure of that, even if he had to keep a tracer on her.

Looking over at the clock it read 12:00 am. Sleep slowly came in the hour and the determination in his mind went on through the night in his dreams. Every scenario he could imagine. The good, the bad, and definitely the ugly too.



Chapter Five

The smell of delicious goods wafted in the air. Tunes of Christmas carols filled the house with joy. Laughter could be heard from the living room and that was the way she liked it.

Without family life was nothing. Over the years she’d learned that. Well experienced with the pain that everyone could be going through when just one was suffering.

At this time in moment everyone and she meant everyone was suffering. Not only family, but it seemed like the whole town too. She put the plate down and called for the rest to come.

The door to the kitchen opened happily with many compliments. Smiling smugly she knew as always she’d done well. “So, Gran. What about this whole situation at hand?” “I don’t know Jennifer darling. It seems that we have the world’s most stubborn people to deal with and nothing seems to be getting through to those two.”

“It’s not good that they’re just wallowing. Have you seen Bo? It’s like a building’s collapsed on him or something. He looks horrible.” “If your darling Doug left you Julie isn’t that how you’d feel? Bo was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve when it came to Hope. Now I only pray that things will get better. If not for them, then the rest of us.”

“They just have to work this out. It’s Bo and Hope we’re talking about. They’ve survived through pretty much everything you can think of. I mean come on we’re talking about total abnormal here. I can’t see why they can’t fix this. I just pray for some sort of miracle.”

“I think that’s all we can do at this moment Jennifer.” There was a gleaming look in Gran’s eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by Julie. “Uh-oh. Gran what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing darlings. You two just eat up.” She got up from her seat and moved towards the oven to get out more cookies. Setting the tray down she looked up at the heavens.

“Oh Tom. Please let my idea work. I really need you right now. We all do. Just give me some sign that everything will be alright.” As she put the cookies on a plate a gust of glorious warm wind came through the house.

“That’s strange. Gran are the windows open? And what a warm breeze. I mean it’s almost winter.” A smile adorned Gran’s face as she set the plate of fresh hot cookies down.

She was old as time as some might put it, but she definitely knew when her Tom was telling her something. A joyous feeling came through her and she knew at that moment that things had to be alright.

Hopefully. This couldn’t go on much longer. There had to be a way that they could get those two stubborn Brady’s back together.

Looking over at the two other women in the room she knew they had the brain power and resources to do what ever in their power they could to make Bo and Hope realize that what was going on between them wasn’t right.

~*~*~*~*~

Bo came drudgingly down the Pub stairs. Bags under his eyes, you tell that he hadn’t gotten much sleep. His thoughts were filled with troublesome scenarios of what could happen in any attempt to reconcile with Hope.

And none of them turned out good. All that he could imagine was the worst in her possibly ending up hurt even more than she already was.

He took a seat at a booth and put his head in his hands slowing rubbing his face. He had to do something. He couldn’t just give up, it wasn’t him.

There was too much of that damn Brady pride that said otherwise. His love for his wife was the only thing that mattered. The smell of a delicious scent aroused his senses.

Looking up, there was a fresh cup of coffee in front of him. Then he looked up and saw that his mother had slid in the booth as well across from him. The look on her face only meant one thing. He was in for a load of trouble.



Chapter Six

Wrapping a scarf around her neck Hope opened the door and headed out. The walls of the house were now closing in on her and she couldn’t take it any more.

She finally pushed her self out the door into the snow. It had snowed around 20 cm last night and the weather man said plenty more was coming. Looking out into the dreaded drive way and sidewalk she knew she would have to do all that.

Or she could just hire someone. She wasn’t going to break her neck like that. Wrapping the coat tighter around her she shut and locked the door. Careful of where she was stepping she headed towards Gran’s house.

She had phoned earlier saying that she needed help with some stuff and that her old self couldn’t do it. The brisk air took nips at her now red nose and ears.

Almost a block away from Gran’s house and her heel had stepped on black ice. She could feel herself falling, but she never hit the ground. Instead she was caught by two strong hands. Two very familiar strong hands.

He slowly lifted her into an upright position. “Are you okay?” He whispered ever so softly in her ear. “Um. Yeah.” She quickly got out of his grasp. “I’m fine.” One block away. She could just run, but fall in the process.

All she had to do was turn away and walk. Just get out of there while she still could. But those eyes. Those chocolate brown pools just held her there. She couldn’t leave. She was frozen in her spot.

“I...umm… should get going.” “Yeah same.” His eyes were downcast now. He couldn’t bear to look at her without grabbing her and kissing her senseless. She turned around and started walking. She could hear footsteps behind her. Turning back she glared at him.

“Brady are you following me?!” “No. I’m just going to Mrs.H’s she phoned me and asked me to help her with something. Where are you going not that it’s my business or anything?”

“Gran’s house also. She asked me the same thing.” The realization hit her of what Gran was attempting. “Oh. I can’t believe she did this. She set us up.” Bo had a confused look on his face. “What do you mean?” She mumbled “You’re denser than I thought.” He didn’t hear her, so she just explained.

“Gran’s setting us up by both of us being at the same place at the same time. I can’t believe she’d do this.” “Maybe she didn’t plan on it.” “Don’t be such a fool Brady. She’s smarter than we all give her credit for. Well I for one am going to prove her wrong and that nothing of us being in the same room will do anything.”

She turned and walked on. Bo merely followed suit, slowly making his way along. Her last words had sliced him painfully slow. Letting out a slow breath it almost froze in the air. It was extremely cold now.

By the time he made it to Mrs. H’s house Hope was already inside. Entering he pulled off his coat and hung it up. He could hear them mumbling in the kitchen as he came closer. Stopping just outside the door he heard them,

“Gran why in the world did you do that?” “Oh dear, don’t find your self so special that I only called you two up. I called the whole family. I’m decorating and I do this every year with the whole family. Or have you caught Alzheimer’s before I have. And it’s pure coincidence that you two happen to arrive at the exact same time. I had nothing to do with it.”

“I thought I already told you that I wanted nothing to do with Christmas. No decorating, no tree, no nothing!” ‘What! Hope didn’t want Christmas. I must have really hurt her.’ A single tear fell down his face. Christmas was their time; their special time and now she wanted nothing to do with the holiday.

Quickly wiping away the tear he listened to more. “I don’t care what you’re going to do this Christmas Hope, but you are going to be here with the family. And if you leave sooner than I want you to then I guess an ornament will be missing from the tree this year.”

“But you can’t, I mean.” “For a person who wants nothing to do with Christmas you sure are tongue tied with a silly little ornament not being hung. Now help me with these cookies now will you. The rest of the family will be here soon to help decorate as well.”

Patting her shoulder Gran went out into the living room. “Hello Bo. I hope you haven’t been standing here long.” She gave him a little wink and then went over to the Christmas tree too open boxes to tree ornaments.

‘Hope’s right. We don’t give her enough credit of how smart she really is.’ He gave a little chuckle and went to help her.



Chapter Seven

Mostly everyone from the Horton/Brady clan was at Gran’s house decorating. It was like an early Christmas for them. It had been like this for as long as hope could remember.

“Okay that’s enough popcorn for you Hope.” Jennifer snatched the bowl out of Hope’s hand before she could grab it. “I wasn’t finished yet.” “Well that’s you second popcorn bowl. I think that’s plenty.” Crossing her hands across her chest she pouted.

“Aw. Now don’t look so upset.” “I can’t believe I didn’t think before I came.” “Well you know Gran has a way of manipulating things so their not as they seem. She probably acted like a little old lady who couldn’t open a pickle jar.”

“You’re so right. I really need to get out of here.” “Why?” “I can’t stand to be in the same room as him let alone a damn house. I should have just went back home before everyone started arriving.”

“Fat chance of that. If you did Gran would have pulled all the stops outs. I bet just one word of a certain ornament got you sitting here like an awaiting duck.” Hope looked at Jennifer with suspicion, and then it clicked.

“You’re in on this too! I can’t believe you’d do something like this to me Jennifer.” “Well I’m sorry but we had to do something to help you two along. I mean come on. Your Bo and Hope for god sakes. You’re meant to be together. If you two aren’t then who else here is.”

Hope just kept quiet and gritted her teeth. Of all the people she thought that would go through with something like this she never thought it would be Jennifer.

“Come on Hope be realistic. All the stuff you and Bo have gone through you can’t just stop here. You’ve been through way worse than Billie.” Getting up from where she sat she’d had enough. People have told her this whole time of ‘They could fix it. Billie’s nothing. Blah, blah, blah.’ But now it was her turn to set the story straight.

“You know what Jennifer. You have no idea of what’s been going on. This has nothing and I mean NOTHING to do with Billie. She’s nothing of where I’m concerned.”

Okay that was a lie, but she needed to get the point out there before anyone could conclude on their own fact that she’d been comparing herself to Billie for a while now.

“Did you have any idea at ALL that Bo had covered for Chelsea in my sons DEATH?!? Did you have any clue that this whole time he’s been lying. No I didn’t think so. You know how that feels to lose a child and have you own husband cover for the MURDERER!?! Everything means nothing anymore. My son’s gone. My baby is dead. And you wouldn’t have any idea of what that feels like. None of you would. You know what I can’t take this anymore I need to get out of here.”

Grabbing her coat from behind her chair she quickly put it on and fled the kitchen. She made her way out and as she passed everyone they just starred with teary eyes.

They had no clue how much she’d been hurting. With all her feelings bottled up no one had any idea. Bo stood there in shock. Utter failure as a person as a human being enveloped him. He was a shell of a man and he knew that. Hope had flung open and slammed the front door shut.

The cold was a knife slicing into the warmth of the house, but no one dared to shiver. What they had just heard would for a long time be haunted in their ears. Bo Brady had covered up for the murderer of his son. Nobody knew it was Chelsea except a few handful of people.

“Bo.” Gran’s voice cut the room. He put down the decorations he held. “I shouldn’t be here.” With those words he walked out. “Oh no, Tom this wasn’t suppose to happen”, Gran whispered to herself.

In silence the rest of the decorations were put up and slowly everyone left. No one said a thing about what they heard. It was a silent secret upon the family of which they knew they wouldn’t speak of again.

Bo kicked the snow as he left. What an ass he was. The words that Hope had said echoed in his ears. He couldn’t believe how horrible what he did was. It seemed at the time he was helping his own child out.

But in order to help one he let down another in the most horrible way possible. His death. He had to find her. He had to apologize to Hope. She had to know how sorry he was. God he felt useless. He made his way to their home. She had to be there.

She had to understand of why he did what he did. If she didn’t he had no clue of what to do. This wasn’t turning out the way he wanted it to, but what was these days. He made his way to the house and was one the doorstep before he knew it.

He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but was stopped short. He could hear her sobbing. It broke his heart in a million ways to know that he’d done this to her. Knowing fully well that this isn’t what she deserved, he turned around in defeat and just gave up.

She deserved better than him and he knew it. It was time that he just let go. Walking down the steps he reached the front gate. His hand on the gate he turned at took one last look at what once was a house filled with happiness and love.

It wasn’t of that anymore. Opening the gate he left and started walking. He walked to where ever his feet took him. Not feeling in the mood to go back to the pub he just kept on walking.

It was a normal feeling the same when he ended up at the cemetery. If he looked up it probably wouldn’t be coincidence if he was there right now, but as he started to look up he definitely wasn’t at the cemetery.

Of all the places he ended up the worst possible one he could imagine at this time. He was in front of Billie’s house.

Chapter Eight

Eyes bloodshot Bo awoke with a huge headache that felt as if it could rip his head open.

Opening his eyes the brightness of the snow filtered in the room and immediately he had to close them again. The simplest of movements affected him in the biggest way.

He stayed still for the longest time until his head was bearable enough to get up. He couldn’t remember how he got back to the pub and he definitely couldn’t remember drinking, but no less there was a bottle and a half of empty whisky by his bed.

He got up and made his way to the bathroom. Stumbling most of the time he tried his hardest to remember what happen last night, but it was all a fast blur in which made him more dizzy.

Holding his head with one hand and grabbed the sink with the other. Looking down at himself he saw that he was still in yesterdays clothes.

The knock that the door sent him over the edge and he just sat down on the floor with a groan. He could hear the door open and then a voice of which he couldn’t put the face to.

“Hey little brother you here?”

Roman’s voice boomed louder than it normally would through his ears. Obviously he was going to get a huge lecture now that he probably found the bottles.

Mustering up as much strength as possible he lifted his foot and closed the bathroom door. Putting his hand in front of his face, he slid down until he was lying completely on the bathroom floor.

He felt like crap; wait worse than crap if there was anything worse. He was at his lowest point and he didn’t even know it.

Well he did know it, but didn’t want to admit it. The door opened only a crack and was stopped by his foot.

“Ugh,” was all her could get out. “Bo you okay?” “Ugh.”

Pushing the door back more, which made Bo move, hurt him even more. Just talking hurt him.

How much did he drink last night? Wait hadn’t he already asked himself that? Oh he didn’t know. His head hurt so badly and he felt like throwing up.

“Come on little brother.” Roman helped Bo up and swung one of his arms around his neck.

“You sure do look like crap.” Bo mumbled a few things that didn’t sound all too pleasant. He put Bo on the bed and picked up the bottles on the floor.

“You know how lucky you are Ma hasn’t seen these? You’re damn lucky that you didn’t get alcohol poisoning too.”

Trying to sit up, Bo failed and fell back on the bed. Shaking his head Roman went over to the blinds and opened them, causing Bo to groan in pain and Roman to laugh.

“Go away.” “Now why would I do that? You know how many people are rattling their brains trying to figure out how you pulled all this crap. How many people are wond-”

“You think I give a damn about people!?! Ohh.” He put his hands over his face.

“Everyone’s sick of your poor me attitude Bo. You brought this on yourself. You were on Billie and Chelsea’s side the whole time. Not once do I remember you ever being there for Hope. Yeah Chelsea’s your daughter, but Zach was your son. Now your dead son. Realize what you did. You can still fix things with Hope, if you try.”

“There’s no use.”

“NO USE!! Are you kidding me! She’s your wife for god’s sake! Stop this self pity me and be a Brady. No better yet be a man! I’ll leave you with this thought. Would you rather be drunk wondering what was or what could have been your whole life or step up to the plate and experience that what could be and what was all over again? All you have to do is remember your love for her.”

With those words Roman left. His words sunk into Bo’s head. He had to stop his self pity.

No more. Roman was right. He was a Brady and he wasn’t giving up easily. Too many times before he’d done so, but not anymore.

Getting up he was a man on a mission again. But first he realized he’d gotten up way to fast and he quickly headed towards the bathroom.

~*~*~*~*~

Hope was awoken by an amazing smell. Opening her eyes she barley remembered coming upstairs.

The last thing she remembered – was something she really didn’t want to remember. Did she really say all those things in front of her whole family? She felt so bad for embarrassing Bo like that and spilling the beans on everything.

Getting up from her bed she went to the washroom and splashed water on her face. She brushed her teeth and got ready to face the world, or at least try. “Oh why do I have to be related to half of Salem?”

Opening her bedroom door the smell of food invaded her nostrils.

“Who in the world is cooking and how did they get in?” She slowly made her way down the stairs and the voices in the kitchen became clearer.

It was the usual suspects Kayla, Julie and Jennifer. Groaning she wondered how they got into the house.

Pushing open the kitchen door the room went silent. One perfect eyebrow went up and they all knew they were in trouble.

“Before you say anything, no we didn’t break and enter and yes we’re all going to talk about last night whether you like it or not.”

Julie was the first to speak. Hope opened her mouth, but before words could come out the kitchen door opened behind her.

Turning around she looked to see the ever so familiar brown eyes that were exactly like another pair. Her son was home.

Chapter Nine

The warm bear hug that her eldest son gave her was all she needed at the moment.

So much he reminded her of Bo and she was glad that her son was finally back home.

“When did you get back? Why didn’t you tell me? Look at you, have you eaten?” The badgering of questions she asked was something so automatic and finally for once she forgot about her own problems and went straight into her mother mode.

“Yes mom I’m fine Aunt Jennifer made breakfast. I wanted to surprise you and I got back early this morning with these three freezing on the doorstep may I add.”

Giving a slight deep laugh than she was used to she looked at her son properly and realized that her little boy had come home a man.

Tears sprung to her eyes and she gave him another hug. Then turning around she looked at the three women who were now trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.

“Don’t you three understand the term butting out?”

Now the humming and twiddling of the thumbs too place and Hope just rolled her eyes. No matter how hard she tried she knew that the three stooges in front of her wouldn’t leave her alone until they got what they wanted to say out.

“So things around here have been pretty interesting I hear.”

Turning to her son she asked, “Are you sure you know absolutely everything?” “Pretty much the jist of it all from their point of view.” “Well you should know not to trust hens.”

She turned her head to give the three behind her a warning look not to say a word. “Well mom as glad as I am to be back home and ten times not as happy to hear what’s been happening I honestly need to go to sleep.”

“Oh honey of course. Go right on up and straight to bed.” Giving him a kiss on the cheek she let him to his old room.

As he turned to go up to his old room Shawn knew that what his aunts told him in the kitchen and what they had devised up would be something entertaining to see.

He definitely wasn’t worried about his parents they had been through more than any couple in their lifetime and his brother’s death was something that just couldn’t tear them apart but only bring them closer together as a family.

Or so he hoped it would; only time would tell. Making a mental note in the back of his head to visit his brother Shawn made his way up the familiar stairs towards his room.

Hope went straight for the coffee completely ignoring the three that were sitting at her kitchen table.

“Ahem, aren’t you going to say ‘Welcome Home Kayla?’”

“I would if you hadn’t broken into my house.”

“Well technically Shawn let us in.” Hope’s eyes went straight to Jennifer and immediately she shut up. “We’re trying to help Hope.” “I know and I’m grateful really, but there’s nothing really you’re able to do. Stop medaling and face facts. Me and Bo are done.”

“We’ve heard that more than once Hope.”

Hope knew that no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get through to the three sitting in front of her or their entire family.

How they all could have so much faith in them and yet she didn’t have any. Taking a deep sigh she put her head in her hands and mumbled,

“This isn’t how I wanted the day to start out like.” “Well you of all people should realize life’s tough.”

Sitting straight up in her chair now Hope realized that in order to get rid of her pesky guests she had to listen to them.

“Alright, fine I’ll hear what you three have to say.”

Two Hours Later

‘Funny when I thought I’d let them tell me their plan I didn’t realize it’d take this long.’

“So how long have you three been devising this up?” “Oh since five this morning,” Kayla responded, “and we’re not done telling you about it.”

“There’s more?! I think I’ve heard enough. None of it’s going to work because I’m not going to be a willing participant. Why should I go to him?” All three women looked at each other realizing that Hope was right.

Just before Julie was about to speak the front door bell rang. Looking at the time Hope realized that it was already noon and yet she was still in her pajamas.

“Can one of you get that while I go change?”

She quickly went up the stairs and into her room to change out of her pajamas and into something more decent.

Not too long later she came down the stairs ready to see who had been at her door when she froze mid way.

Standing in front of the closed front door was none other than “Bo”, just a mere whisper on her lips and he looked up.

His eyes were like puppy dogs. He stood there in black jeans a sweater with a leather jacket on. His hands tucked into his jeans pockets.

They stood in their spots for god knows how long. It seemed time stood still. She really didn’t think he’d come over after last night.

Taking a deep breathe she asked, “What are you doing here?” “Um, I think we need to talk.”

His voice was quiet as if he was a little child that had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Only he was a man who had tampered with evidence to free his daughter who had killed their youngest son.

As those thoughts emerged in her mind she gripped the railing of the stairs and her jaw was clenched.

Bo could see that she was thinking about the recent events in their lives that had turned it upside down and all he could ask her was a simple, “Please.”

Chapter 10

The uneasiness in the room was evident to both of them. They couldn't look each other in the eyes and that scared them.

For as long as they remember they always could tell one another everything and be completely honest and they everything in their lives had shattered. So much time lost, so many lies said, and for what? In the end the outcome would have been the same either way.

Finally Hope looked up and didn't see the many she'd known forever, instead she saw a man in agony. His hair disheveled, eyes blood shot and he just looked plain tired. His eyes met hers and they held each other's gaze.

Not a word spoken yet so many things said just by their gaze. Finally Hope looked away and started nervously playing with her hands. She didn't know what to say or how to start.

She didn't know what he wanted from her and she sure as hell didn't know what there was left between them. Sure she could never deny the love she had for him but she just couldn't trust in that love after everything he did.

Taking a deep breath she turned around and walked over the chair by the kitchen door. Sitting down, she covered her face in her hands, not willing herself to cry, especially in front of him.

He saw the turmoil going through her and he wanted to take her in his arms and erase it all, but he knew he couldn't.

What he did cost him everything in his life. Not once did he take a step back and look at the bigger picture and what the ripple effect of his actions would be.

His selfishness blinded him. Taking a seat on the larger sofa he took a slow breath and was about to speak, but was cut off by Hope,

"Why are you here?"

Pain evident in her voice he answered, "We need to talk."

"No we don't, what's done is done."

"You don't mean that Hope, we need to talk about everything."

"Why, why do I NEED to talk about everything? I know what has happen in my life I don't NEED to re-live it. I don't NEED to have you come into this house and tell me what I NEED! And I sure as hell don't NEED you!"

She was starring has him with such anger that he felt as his he had shrunk. Taking an unsteady breath he responded, "You're right."

He was lost for speech and couldn't come up with anything else to say. He knew that if he tried to convince her to talk about what had happen in their lives she would most likely take it offensively and kick him out.

"You know Bo, it's funny because you've got a teenage daughter now, and all I've got is my eldest son who's now twenty-five. I've lost two sons. TWO SONS! So explain to me how the hell it's fair that you've miraculously gained a child and I've suffered twice in losing mine?!

How does this happen? God I feel like such a fool thinking I could ever have a happy ending. As soon as you got that call from Billie I knew that Pandora's Box had been opened and I was right.

So you know what, go ahead and just go back to your other family because at this moment we're done, there is no more us." Standing up she went over to the door and opened it.

"Get out."

Her tone was now eerily calm. He knew she had barley touched the surface of her emotions, but he also knew he wasn't wanted and he didn't want to push her. Getting up slowly he knew he was taking a risk but did it any way.

Walking up to her she took a step back. With his intense gaze he lowered his head and whispered in her ear, "I love you", then kissed her head and left the house.

His final actions confused her so much more than she already was. She felt venerable and she didn't like it.

Her whole life was spinning out of control right before her eyes and she didn't know what she could grab on to and who did he think he was by telling her he loved her!? Walking over to the mantle she picked up a picture of them at the 4th of July barbeque and starred at it.

Such happy times, was it all a lie? Was he really wishing he had married Billie instead? She didn't know what to think anymore.

Her eyes clouded over with tears, tears that hadn't stopped coming since her little boy died.

Placing the picture back on the mantle she realized that she needed to get her life back in order, this time without Bo.

~*~*~*~*~

The snow crunched underneath her feet as he walked with the love of his life to the place he least wanted to go.

Holding tightly onto her petite hand they walked through the iron gates of the cemetery. He regretted not being here for his family when everything had happen.

It couldn't even register in his head that his brother was gone, his parents were split and how his father had a teenage daughter, and HE had a teenage half sister.

Reaching the tombstone that marked his brother's name he looked down and a free tear cascaded down his face.

A soft hand gently wiped it away. Looking over at Belle he gave her a soft smile, one she returned back to him. She gave him strength and he was so glad he was back here with her.

Unbelievable to him that she'd waited for him since he left for the Merchant Marines when he was nineteen. Kneeling down on a knee he touched the tombstone.

"Hey buddy; it's me your brother. I can't believe what's happen. So much wrong is happening in our family. I wish you were here, back with us."

Choking back a sob he bent his head. "I love you." Kissing his fingers he placed them on top of the tombstone and stood up.

Wiping his eyes he turned to Belle, "Let's go." "I'm so proud of you." Bending down he kissed her lips soundly as they left the cemetery.

He knew that this wouldn't be the last time he'd visit his brother.