Chapter 20
Shawn smiled as he crept into Belles room. Her face was visibly swollen and bruised, but the smile on her lips was heaven to him. “How did she do?” He asked the doctor as he stood over him checking her vitals.
“She’s a trooper.” Dr. Watson replied looking over his shoulder at Shawn. Over the year that he’d been treating Belle, he’d never met the man that she lived with. “Things went great. I did two surgeries in one, so her recovery will take a few weeks longer. But she will get her final one after Christmas.”
“She’ll be thrilled.” Shawn said picking up one of her hands and placing a soft kiss on the knuckles. “What do you think the final result will be. She’s so worried that she’ll never look normal again, I wish she’d feel more sure about herself.”
“I’m going to say about 90% right now.” Ian replied closing Belle’s chart and placing it on her side table. “The scar tissue was deep around her neck, so any scars that will stay will be under her chin. I’m a little worried about under the eye too, so I’ll be keeping a close eye on it. But by next spring she should be about 99%.”
“Thank you.” Shawn said smoothing her hair back and smiling. “She only wants to be her old self again. She doesn’t understand that she doesn’t need flawless skin to be loved by anyone.”
“Her main concern is your daughter.” Ian replied sharing Belle’s secret with the man she loved. “She is terrified about how her appearance will affect Aimee in a few years. Kids are cruel, and Belle knows it.”
“Belle knows it because I was cruel to her.” Shawn replied remembering how he teased her to no end when they were younger. “She knows first hand the things that kids can say because my uncle and I used to torment her about her family. We’ve but it behind us, I mean we were only seven or eight, but she still remembers.”
“She’s a special girl.” Ian agreed looking down at the beautiful blonde who lay sleeping on the hospital bed. He’d worked extra hard on her face wanting her to look the way she did before, mainly because he found himself falling in love with her. “I have another surgery in a few minutes, I should go.”
Shawn nodded and watched the young doctor go. His comment left him unsettled and he started to pace the room. The way the doctor looked at Belle, the way he talked about her, it was like he had feelings for her. Shaking his head he glanced out into the hall and spotted Ian watching Belle with longing his eyes. ‘I don’t think so buddy.’ He said to himself feeling anger bubble inside him.
“Shawn?” Belle asked in a groggy voice.
“I’m right here.” Shawn said plastering a smile on his face and taking her hand again. “I’m here. You did wonderful honey.” He kissed her good cheek and smiled when she looked for more. “Later.”
“When can I see?” Belle asked trying to clear the fog in her mind. “I want to see.”
“I did ask that.” Shawn said kicking himself for being stupid. “But I think you should heal a bit before you even try to look at it. I’ll be honest with you, I think they hit you with a Mack truck in there.”
Belle giggled at his comment and shook her head, making herself dizzy. “You’re funny Mr. Brady.” She said trying to sit up. “But seriously, it’s only red and bruised right?” Her fingers lifted to her cheek and was shocked to not feel a bandage. “What the?”
“Dr. Watson left the bandage off and placed one of your cover ups on it instead.” Shawn said moving her hand down before she touched the skin and cried. “Don’t touch it. This is clear not colored like the others though. I can see what he did, and it looks good. Does it hurt much?”
“It’s tight.” Belle said as Shawn placed pillows behind her back to support her. “But other than that it’s ok. I know it will start to hurt soon, maybe I should ask for something to take when I go home.”
“I signed your release papers a little bit ago when you came out of the OR.” Shawn explained wondering how long it would be before the swelling would go down, he was excited to see the smooth skin under the dressing. “As soon as the doctor says so I’ll get you home. Aimee is with my parents, I’m glad I took her over, she’d probably be upset over your face. It’s not that bad, but she’d notice it.”
“Thank you.” Belle said rolling her eyes at him. She knew he was trying to be tactical, but he was failing miserably. “I’m kinda sleepy, I think I’ll try to get some more sleep before I leave recovery. Will you check in soon?”
“Of course I will.” Shawn said kissing her lips softly and smoothing her hair. “If you need me have them call and I’ll be right over.”
“I will.” Belle said as her eyes started to drift closed . “Shawn? I love you.”
Shawn’s lips formed a small smile as her lips parted and she drifted off. “I love you too Isabella.” He said leaving the room quietly, not wanting to wake any other patients. “I always will.”
***
Belle smiled as she watched Aimee blow out her candles. Two years old, the young child was the image of her mother, until she opened her eyes and revealed the chocolaty brown that definitely came from her father. “Yeah!” She exclaimed moving the cake out of reach before she could grab it. “Do you want ice cream with your cake?”
“Yes!” Aimee exclaimed reaching for the huge flower shaped cake. “Ice cweam!”
Brady Black laughed as his niece as she used the same tone of voice that Belle had used at that age. “You’re too excited Aimee Bear, I think you should hold off on the cake and ice cream right now.” He winked at Shawn and watched for the explosion that would come from the little pixie.
“No!” Aimee exclaimed shaking her head at her uncle. “No way. I want my cake and ice cweam!” She looked to her mother for support.
“Brady, you’re going to get her worked up.” Belle scolded her older brother as she dished out a small serving of the desert for her daughter. “If she starts to cry she goes home with you.”
“Aimee… cry.” Brady said laughing at Belle. It was well known that Brady loved to take his niece for days at a time. He shook his head at the puzzled look on her face, “mommy said you had to come with me if you cried.”
Aimee pondered the option for a minute before shaking her head. “Can I come?” She asked looking at her mother. “I no wanna cry. I wanna go.”
“If uncle Brady wants to take you then he can.” Belle said shaking her head at her daughter. At two Aimee was already writing and doing some reading. “But if you’re wired he can’t bring you back.”
“I would never do that to you Tink.” Brady said winking at Aimee again. “And I promise that I’ll keep her for at least a day, maybe longer.”
“You’re going to have her so spoiled.” Shawn said as Belle handed him some cake. “But thank you, tonight she gets to remove the bandage and keep it off. I’m excited.”
“You’re excited?” Belle asked raising an eyebrow at him. “How do you think I feel? I can’t wait, I almost took it off this morning and said to hell with it. I’ve lost my patience for waiting for results, and I want something done right now.”
“You have three hours to wait.” Shawn reminded her with a smile. It was nice to see Belle getting her spunk back, it made him feel more alive and sure of their relationship. “I’m sure you’ve been counting the seconds…”
“I had them worked out his morning.” Belle said with a nod. It was true, she’d taken the time in the shower to work it out exactly. “But I don’t remember what it is now.”
Aimee shook her head at the parents and uncle. They always talked fast and she didn’t like it. “You all silly.” She forced a forkful of cake into her face and chomped on it. “You supposed to eat cake, not talk. So shhh….”
Chapter 21
Belle stood patiently as Shawn gently peeled the beige bandage off her cheek. He was being very gently and she wondered if he was being so slow because he was scared as well. Closing her eyes she felt him pull the last of the stickiness away and it was as if time froze along with him. “What is it?”
“98% my ass.” Shawn said tossing the bandage aside and cupping her right cheek. “Oh Belle, I can’t even see a scar.”
“Really?” Belle asked opening her eyes and seeing the tear on his cheeks. “Are you sure?” She quickly turned and face the mirror, her stomach in knots. True to his word, there was not a piece of scar tissue to be seen. “Oh my God.”
“I told you there was nothing there.” Shawn said wrapping her arms around her from behind and kissing her neck. “You are Isabella Black again.” He rested his forehead on her shoulder and allowed himself to cry.
Belle didn’t know what to make of her results. She looked closely, searching for a mark and finally found one, just behind her hair line out of sight to someone who wasn’t looking for it. Tears slid down her cheeks and she lightly touched the smooth skin. “Wow.”
“He got rid of that little scar near your ear that Brady gave you.” Shawn said noticing that the scissor mark was gone. “Do remember when he cut your hair for you and got your cheek instead? It’s gone.”
“I think I should give Dr. Watson an award.” Belle said checking her cheek out at different angles. If she tilted her head up, there was a small scar under he chin was so fine it looked like a wrinkle. “This is amazing. 2 scars are left and they’re both from the incisions he made to remove the extra tissue.”
“He already got his award.” Shawn said trailing his lips long her collarbone before moving to nibble on her ear. “He got paid a lot more than he charged.” He turned her around and continued to cover the exposed skin of her shoulder with kisses and love bites.
Belle closed her eyes at the tingles she was getting from his kisses. They were so soft, almost like he was only touching her with his soul. “Mmmm…” she moaned tipping her head back so he could reach all the skin.
Shawn planned his moves carefully. So far they had not been able to get far in their intimacy, mainly a few kisses. But he knew that he needed to make love to her, and he had thought of making her a few drinks to relax her. But he had already taken it too far and wished he’d brought the bottle of wine up from the kitchen. Swiftly he scooped her up and headed towards the bed.
Belle wrapped her arms around his shoulders, locking her lips on his as he carried her from the bathroom into the bedroom. She gently let go as lay her down and moved to prop herself up on the pillows. It was time, she knew she was ready to make love to him. “Shawn.” She gasped as he lay down over her, his erection pressing into her core. A familiar feeling of fear started to well up inside her and burst before she could control it.
“Belle do you want to stop?” Shawn asked noticing the change in her face. The pleasured look was gone and had been replaced by the all too familiar terrified one. “Belle.”
“I can’t do this.” Belle said pushing him off her and jumping up from the bed. She grabbed her robe and wrapped it round her dress clad body. “I can’t.”
Shawn buried his head in the mattress and groaned in frustration. “Come on Belle, is this ever going to end?” He asked turning to face her. He understood that she was scared because Rex had raped her, but it had been two years and he wasn’t Rex.
“I don’t know.” Belle said slumping into a nearby chair. She wasn’t sure what was happening to her, but she knew that it was starting to upset Shawn. “I don’t know. I can’t do this Shawn, I can’t.”
Shawn felt his temper flare and knew that now was the time to make his feelings known. “Belle, this is bullshit.” He said tossing his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning on his knees. “I know you’re scared, but you don’t even give it a chance, you bolt before you know if you can fight it.”
“I’m sorry.” Belle said feeling like she was going to cry. “I thought you understood me. I thought you were going to give me the support I needed?” She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to gain some confidence.
“I have been for two years Belle.” Shawn said walking over to her and forcing her to her feet. “I have not been able to make love to you since you got pregnant with Aimee! For fuck sakes I’m about ready to explode here. I can’t go on like this. Do you want to know what I almost did with Mimi? No you don’t. Do you see this Belle?” He asked gesturing to the tent that had formed in his pants. “How can you be afraid of it? It has never hurt you before, do you even remember the time we made love?”
“Of course I remember.” Belle cried thinking of the force that had been applied the last time she’d had sex. “But I remember what happened with him too!” She turned her head away and wished that she could stop crying. “Why does it have to be about sex Shawn?”
“It’s not about sex Belle.” Shawn said in an exasperated tone. “It’s about you not being able to trust in me and my love. You can’t stand to have me touch you, you flinch almost all the time! I can’t deal with this anymore, cold showers don’t help!”
“They why don’t you go sleep with Mimi!” Belle screamed jumping up from her seat and moving away from him. “Maybe she can give you what you want!” She grabbed a pillow off their bed and hurled it at him. “Go to her! Go!”
“I don’t want Mimi.” Shawn said catching the pillow and tossing it aside. He stood and advanced on her. “I want you Belle, can’t you see that?” He asked catching her wrists and pulling her close to his chest. “Why are you still so afraid?”
“No, let go!” Belle screamed in fear as she felt his hostile hands on her skin. “This is why! Look at you!” She pulled herself away and cowered by the bed. “Look at you.”
Shawn stepped back from where he had been standing and gaped at his hands. Never had he lay a hostile hand on Belle, or on any other woman for that matter. “Oh Jesus Belle, I’m sorry.” Shawn said watching her tears fall. “But I love you. I do. Too fucking much it seems.”
“Don’t say that.” Belle said pointing a finger at him. “Don’t you ever say that.” She grabbed the extra blanket off the bed and handed it to him. “Get out.” She pointed to the door and fought to keep herself calm. “Go, I don’t want you here right now.”
Shawn took the blanket and pillow. He turned back and watched her collapse onto the bed. There was something not adding up with her fears, something he knew that he had to piece together, before it was too late.
***
“Morning.” Shawn said as he walked into the kitchen, stretching his tired body as he moved. He hadn’t slept two minutes the night before, he wasn’t used to sleeping on the couch. “How are you this morning?”
“I’m fine.” Belle replied noticing the cool tone in his voice. The argument the night before had left them a little overheated and it seemed the night apart had settled things a little too well. “You?”
“I missed you.” Shawn said moving to stand behind her. He could smell the vanilla on her freshly showered skin and it ignited his desire. “I’m sorry Belle. I really am. I just miss you so much.”
“I don’t think I’m ready.” Belle said moving away from him and pouring herself a cup of coffee. “I can still feel his hands on my body Shawn, I can feel all their hands on me. If you touch me in a strong way, I feel him. I know that I can’t let you to touch me in that way because it’s not you I feel, it’s him.”
“You need to talk to someone about this Belle.” Shawn said throwing himself into a chair and frowning. “How can we go on like this? We’ve been talking about getting married, but you can’t stand to have me touch you. What kind or marriage would that be?”
“I don’t know.” Belle said as tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. “I don’t know Shawn! I want to forget it all but I can’t!” She allowed her body to crumble towards the floor as she started to sob. Shawn’s strong arms wrapped around her and she clung to his shoulders. “I want to remember what it’s like to make love to you and carry your children, but all I can remember is him!”
“Please see someone Belle.” Shawn pleaded as he continued to support her slight weight in his arms. “We can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t marry you if you can’t trust me enough to touch you. I just can’t.”
“I love you Shawn.” Belle whispered against his neck. “I want you to touch me, I rally do.” She held onto his neck until her sobs had quieted and her legs decided to support her. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Shawn said giving her a quick kiss before moving for a cup of coffee. “We can’t go on like this though. You need to go see someone about this and soon. I cannot deal with it anymore.”
“I don’t want to see a shrink or counselor.” Belle said stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest. “You told me that time would heal me.”
“Belle, what kind of time do you think we have?” Shawn asked becoming increasingly frustrated with her. “Aimee is two now and all we do is lie in bed together at night! I’m a young man Belle, I have needs and I can’t take it anymore. Please, at least talk to your mom.”
“No.” Belle said shaking her head. “I cannot share all this with my mother. If you don’t like how I’m dealing with this then leave. Just go.”
Shawn looked up at her and his heart fell. There was no way she would see someone and he could not let her lean on him for the rest of her life, it wasn’t fair to him. “I’m sorry.” He said knowing that the time had come and he needed to do what he felt would be best for the both of them. “I’m leaving you.”
Chapter 22
Belle stood shaking in the empty kitchen, staring at the door that Shawn had walked out of an hour before. She hadn’t moved since her life had been ripped apart, she had barely even breathed in that time. What had occurred in the room had been so unbelievable an so unlike Shawn. She was unsure of what to make of his leaving her, unsure if it was really her fault.
“I’m leaving you.”
The words echoed through out the room, taunting her as they rolled over and over in the silence. “What have I done?” She asked covering her mouth with a hand in attempt to hide her sobs. “No Shawn no!” She looked around the room, her eyes falling on the gleaming butcher knife she’d used to make her bagel.
‘It would be so easy, just get it over with,’ the little voice in her head said, ‘no more worrying about it.’
“No.” Belle said shaking her head and pushing the knife into the sink where she couldn’t see it as easily. “That is not going to help anything.” She braced herself against the sink and allowed the tears to fall silently.
“I can’t take it anymore.”
Belle shook her head vigorously at the sounds the kept repeating themselves even though he was gone. Could she go on with out Shawn? Was it possible for her to be alone after all that had happened? “You ruined my life.” She whispered as anger built up inside her like a volcano waiting to explode. “You took my life from me, and now you’ve forced Shawn away! You bastard! No, I will not let you win!”
Grabbing her keys and wallet off the counter she flung open the back door and started towards the drive way where her car had been parked the night before. A small noise, almost like a kitten mewing caused her to stop and turn towards Aimee’s tree swing. Shawn was sitting on the hard wooden swing that he had hand carved with their daughters name, his head dropped and his back slumped. Slowly she crept across the grass, her flip flops filling up with dew as she moved.
“What took you so long?” Shawn asked quietly as he felt her approach. After sitting in his car for twenty minutes her realized that he couldn’t leave, he just couldn’t, and Aimee’s swing was the perfect place to sit and cry out the pain. He knew that she would eventually come after him, but the hour he’d been waiting felt like an eternity.
“I don’t know.” Belle said standing three feet behind him, her hands limply at her sides and her keys dangling from her fingers. She knew that he was hurt, she was too, but they had to do something before it was too late. “I didn’t move for the longest time, and then I had a confrontation with a butcher knife and then had a few choice words for Rex.”
Shawn whirled around and quickly checked her arms for blood or bandages. He breathed a sigh of relief when the pale skin showed no blemish other than an old scar. His eyes drifted up her body until they rested on hers. “I guess the butcher knife lost?”
“Yeah.” Belle said nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and biting her lip. The tension between them was so thick she was sure the butcher knife would have lost the battle of cutting it too. “Shawn…”
“Belle…” Shawn said wanting to reach out for her, to pull her into his arms and kiss all their problems away. But he knew that kissing her wouldn’t solve anything, that it might possibly make things worse. He dropped his eyes to the ground and felt defeat running over his already trampled body.
“Shawn, I’m sorry.” Belle said fighting to keep her tears at bay. A dark cloud was settling over her shoulders and she shook herself to keep it from landing firmly. “I know I need to get help, but you don’t understand how hard that is.”
“You don’t know how hard it is to watch you scream in fear every time I come near you or try to touch you.” Shawn said slowly climbing to his feet, lessening the distance between them. “You don’t know what it’s like to watch you hold our daughter and know that she’ll be an only child for me because I can’t be with you in the way I want to. You don’t know.”
Belle knew she was defeated after his statements. He was right, she didn’t know what it was like for him, she had no idea because she hiding behind her own problems and didn’t see it. “I don’t want Aimee to be an only child.” She said tucking her hands into her pockets and scuffing her flip flops on the grass. “And I don’t want to let him win, but he already has. I don’t know what I can do to make myself forget the things he’s done to me.”
“See someone,” Shawn said, his command more a plea. “That’s all I ask. If things don’t work out after that then at least we know we’ve tried. Please, just lets find someone who can help you.”
“Do you really think we can find someone?” Belle asked looking up at him with teary eyes. “You’re the half shrink, do you really think that I can get past all this and get on with life? I want you to answer on a professional level, not on a personal one.”
“Belle thousands of women are abused and raped every year.” Shawn said brushing a tear off her cheek with a gentle finger. “And many of them are ok after seeking professional help. Belle, I wouldn’t press you for this if I didn’t think it would help you, you know that deep down right?”
“Yeah.” Belle said smiling weakly up at him. “I don’t want to lose you Shawn, I can’t. If I lose you, then Rex really has won.” She gently stepped into his chest and wrapped her arms around him.
“You won’t lose me.” Shawn said slowly closing his arms around her. “I wouldn’t leave you, I just had to make you see what was happening between us. I can’t live like we are now, it’s not fair to me, or Aimee. I don’t want her believing she has a normal family, when she doesn’t.”
“She will.” Belle said matter of factly. “Let’s go call my mom. No, let’s go see her and we’ll see who she’ll recommend. Ok?”
“Perfect.” Shawn said placing a light kiss on her forehead. “I love you Isabella Black, I always have, and I always will.”
***
Brady stood silently outside Aimee’s room listening to his two year old niece talking to God. He turned to motion for Mimi to come closer and held her tight as they listened.
“Dear God.” Aimee said in her tired sleepy voice. She didn’t want her uncle to hear what she had to say and she knew he’d be downstairs with aunt Mimi by now. “It’s me, Aimee Isabella Brady, but you know that. I want you to please make sure my Mommy can love my Daddy again. I know they have problems and I want them to love themselves again. Please can you make things ok for them?” She turned to look out the window and jumped up at the brightly shining star. “Oh, hold on one sec!”
Aimee rushed over to the window and threw herself down on the bench seat. Closing her eyes she started the simple rhyme that her Grandma Hope had taught her, “Starlight, Starbright first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.” She opened her eyes and looked long and hard that the star, her tiny lips quivering slightly. “Please help my Mommy love again.”
Chapter 23
Shawn sat nervously in Dr. Mary Anthony’s waiting room, winding a stray lock of hair around his finger over and over again. Belle had gone in for her first session with the psychiatrist three hours before and he was wondering if it had been too long for her. She was still fragile, afraid to say anything that might upset herself or her family. Raking his fingers through his hair he decided that it was time to interrupt and insist that the session continue at a later date.
“Thank you Mary.” Belle said as the two of them entered the waiting room. Her eyes burned from all the tears that she had shed in the past few hours, but her heart felt lighter. “I feel a thousand times better.”
“You’re very welcome.” Mary said giving the young girl a reassuring pat on the back. Never in her 20 years of practice had she treated a patient who had endured so much pain in a short period of time. “Go home and try all the things we talked about and come in when you feel you need to. I’d like to either have you in or speak to you on the phone once a week for a while, but you can just drop in after 4 in the afternoon for those.”
“Thank you.” Belle said grinning at Shawn when she saw the worried look on his face. It had been a tough month for the both of them. He’d been sleeping in the guest room because he insisted that she was not able to have him in the same bed, and he was right. The thought of him touching her with out her permission scared the hell out of her and she didn’t want to put Aimee through late night screams of fear. But the separation was hard, they loved each other so much that it hurt to be apart, and the elimination of all contact made it harder. “Hey.”
“You ok?” Shawn asked moving to her side with a concerned look on his face. Her cheeks were splotchy, indicating that she’d been crying and her expression was weary. His only fear with her now seeking help was that it would exhaust her and she’d get sick.
“I’m great.” Belle said sliding her arms around the trunk of his body, pulling her chest to his. A sigh of contentment escaped her slightly parted lips as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. “Step one: reestablish contact that the ones you love.” She said in a stead voice as her head rested on his cheek.
“What is step two?” Shawn asked relishing in her affection. He longed for her touches, he missed her in bed at night, missed pulling her into his arms when she cried. The crying was the hardest part, because he knew he couldn’t go to her.
“Learning to love someone completely.” Belle replied stepping back and reaching for his hand. The smile on his face made her icy heart melt and she began to feel something she thought she’d lost, hope. “Let’s get out of here. I feel like I’m in a cage, I need to get out doors or I’m going to scream.”
“Where would you like to go?” Shawn asked tucking her gently under his arm and heading towards the doors. Hew knew how she felt, being cooped up got to him too. “Part, zoo,… what?”
“Could we go for a sail?” Belle asked hopefully. She’s hadn’t been on the Fancy Face since before Aimee had been born and recently she’d found herself watching the boats with the desire to get out on the water. “We haven’t gone in such a long time.”
“I’ll give dad a call and ask.” Shawn said smiling at her again. He could see excitement in her eyes and he wanted to make sure he saw it more often. He knew that thing would get better for them, he could see a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes, and it renewed his.
“Ask him if we can have Zac too.” She said grinning from ear to ear. “We’ll take him and Aimee out to the cabin for a few hours. They’ll love it.”
“Ok then.” Shawn said flipping open his cell phone. “Hey dad… listen, can we ask you a favor?”
***
“Do you think that this means that things are getting better for them?” Hope asked as she watched her children drive away in Belle’s SUV. “She seemed so much happier when she came in to get Aimee, I wonder what happened at that appointment she had.”
“She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” Bo replied leading his wife back inside the house. It was so quiet with out Zac and Aimee. “Marlena said that we can’t push her or it will do more harm than good.”
“I know what she said, I just can’t help but wonder if things are getting better.” Hope said grinning at her husband. “You know, it’s always so quiet in here when the kids are gone. It makes me….”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Bo asked moving closer to his wife. They had talked on and off for the past few years about having another baby, but never had the time.
“Yes I am Mr. Brady.” Hope said turning and heading from the stairs. “That is, if you’re up to it.”
***
“What that Mommy?” Aimee asked pointing down into the water a few feet away from the boat. “Oh!”
Belle giggled as a porpoise jumped out of the water and sent a spray of water at Aimee’s amazed face. “Those are porpoises sweetie. Like a dolphin almost.” She picked up the bewildered child and held her closer to the railing. “See, just like flipper.”
“Pretty flipper.” Aimee said smiling at her mother. “Do you like the poopise?”
Shawn laughed heartily at his daughters mistake. “Silly girl.” He said shaking his head at her frown. “There’s an r in there. Porpoise.”
“Daddy mean.” Aimee said sticking her tongue out at him before turning back to the pretty animals. “Mommy like them right?”
Belle glanced over her shoulder at Shawn, catching sight of a red mark on his arm. “Mommy and daddy both like them.” She said mouthing ‘I love you’ to him. “We like them very much.”
Shawn slowly slid his hand inside his pocket to hide the scar that she was looking at. Recently he’s watched her run her fingers over her own and he’d feared she’d been fighting a battle with herself over whether to do it again or not. ‘I will not lose you Isabella, I refuse to let that happen.’
Chapter 24
Belle yelped as she was removed from her warm blanket on the sand and deposited in the cool water. Sputtering to the surface she glanced around for the perpetrator. She spotted him swimming out towards a small raft and darted after him. Despite the distance advantage he had over her she easily caught up with him just as he pulled himself out of the water. “Hey you, that was mean.”
“You looked hot so I cooled you off.” Shawn said helping her up onto the raft and into the cool air. “Plus, Aimee is sleeping so I figured we could catch a few minutes together while Zac works on that book he brought with him.”
“Did you have to get me wet though.” Belle asked with a shiver. The afternoon air was cool and her dripping body was covered in goose bumps. “It’s cold out here.”
“Lie down and you’ll warm up.” Shawn said spreading his muscular body over the warm plastic of the raft. He sucked in a sharp breath as he felt Belle’s warm skin slide against his side as she curled up against his body. The air hissed out from between his lips and he begged his body to stay relaxed for just once.
“Problems?” Belle asked seductively. She hadn’t meant to use that tone, and she knew she was setting herself up for something she wasn’t ready for. But she had to be close to him, her body just wanted to touch him.
“You’re my only problem right now.” Shawn replied playing with the wet hair that was splayed over his arm. He could smell the vanilla she always wore and it made his senses tingle. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.” Belle said as his touches caused her to shiver. It had been a long time since she had genuinely enjoyed his touch and her heart soared at her progress. “Mary told me a lot of things this morning. She told me that it wasn’t my fault and if I just let myself go I would enjoy being touched again.”
Shawn gently moved his fingers from her hair and trailed them down her back. “Are you afraid now?” He asked as the silkiness of her skin heated his fingertips until they burned.
“No, I’m not afraid.” Belle replied propping her upper body up on her elbow so she could look down on him. “She helped me learn the difference between fear and love. She told me to relax into a touch, if I can relax it’s love. If I can’t then it’s fear.” She shivered again as his hand rested on her hip, his fingers playing with the ties on her bikini.
“You never have to fear me.” Shawn whispered as he looked into her eyes and saw that, for the first time since Rex, they weren’t barred up. “I will never give you a reason to be afraid of me, never.”
Belle swallowed hard, allowing her body to react o his. Immediately she felt her nipples push against the fabric of her swimsuit and a pool of heat form between her legs. Her breaths came in quick spurts and sounded raspy from arousal. Slowly while his eyes watched her, she slid her tongue along her dry lips, lingering on the center of her upper one. Desire raced through her body and she allowed her eyes to drift along his body, resting on the tent in his swim trunks. A tiny thread of fear crept into her mind, weaving a web she had to stop. Averting her eyes she slowly pressed her lips to his, looking for reassurance.
Shawn moaned as her eyes drifted from his face to his erection. He’d been praying for it to remain flaccid, but once again it had failed him. He felt her body stiffen against his at the sight of it and jumped when she pressed her lips to his. Gently he kissed her, laying feather light touches on her lips and teasing them with his teeth. He moaned again as she pressed her breasts into his side, feeling the taunt nipples through the fabric. He slowly wrapped his arms around her slender body, giving her time to retreat if she wanted to, and lifted her so she was laying on top of him.
“Shawn,” Belle said breaking the kiss, “I’m not ready to-to-to-to, well…” She sighed in frustration at her stupidity and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m not ready to make love. I know I’m being a tease, but I need to have you touch me and I need to touch you. But I’m just not ready to have sex with you.”
“Shhh…” Shawn said rubbing her back gently. He could feel her heart racing and he hugged her tightly. “I know you’re not ready. I’m not asking for it either. I’m sorry if I got carried away.”
“You didn’t get carried away.” Belle said relaxing into his body. She could feel his arousal against her body, and she smiled remembering just how perfectly they seemed to fit together. “I just had to tell you that… whoa!”
Shawn jerked upright as the raft was tossed violently to one side and Belle went rolling off of him. He caught her before she slipped off the side and he grabbed a hold of the ladder for support. “Holy Shit, looks like a storm.” He frowned at the dark clouds and high waves that were rolling in. “Looks like we may be stuck here for the night. Do you think you can make it back to the shore?”
“Yes.” Belle said wondering if Aimee and Zac were alright. “We’d better go quick before lightening starts.” She didn’t wait for an answer before jumping into the choppy water. Surfacing she quickly started to stroke towards the beach, hoping he’s be able to make it in as well. She choked as a wave hit her in the face and for a moment started to panic.
“Gottcha.” Shawn said grabbing her and holding her up for a second. “It’s only a little bit of water. Come on.” He pushed her forward and followed close behind her. He reached out for her when his feet touched ground and they slowly made their way through the high waves and debris that were pounding against them.
“Ouch!” Belle exclaimed as a piece of wood slammed against her knee. Collapsing at the pain she choked again as she received a mouth full of water. Trying to stand she groaned when the water and pain knocked her over again. “Shawn, I can’t get up.”<br />
“I’ve got you.” Shawn said lifting her out of the water and carrying her toward the beach. He bent to retrieve the items they’d left earlier before heading towards the cabin. He hadn’t gone two steps when rain started to pour down on them. Quickly he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders covering Belle and himself. “We’re almost there. I’ll bet dad’s already called in a message to Zac.”
“Shawn!” Zac screamed through the thundering rain wind. “Shawn!”
“Right here buddy.” Shawn said as he hurried up onto the covered porch of the cabin. “Open the door for me would you?” He smiled at his little brother as he rushed inside the door and set Belle down on the couch. A nasty bruise had already formed on her knee and he hoped it wasn’t broken. “Did dad send a message?”
“Yup.” Zac said nodding at his brother. “He said that the storm was full force in Salem, and to stay here… and he was saying something about Aimee when we got cut off. I think the power went out.”
“Probably.” Shawn said making an ice pack for Belle before wrapping her in a dry blanket. “Where is Aimee?”
“In the bedroom coloring.” Zac said as she toddled out of the room with a worried look on her face. “Or not.”
“I scared.” Aimee said reaching up to her father.
“It’s ok sweetie, it’s just a storm.” Shawn said cradling his daughter against his chest for a second before handing her to Belle. “I’m gonna try dad again before I start locking up.”
“Ok.” Belle said slowly bending her knee. It was lodged in position and she couldn’t get it to move where she wanted to. “Ouch.” She said shaking her head against the pain. “It’s ok honey, I’m afraid of the storm too.”
Aimee cuddled against her mothers chest before allowing herself to drift off to sleep thinking of the pretty animals in the water. ‘I love you poopise.’
Chapter 25
Shawn quietly moved back inside the cabin incase anyone had gone to sleep. It had taken him two hours to secure the boat and another two to make sure that there was water in the spare tanks incase the power went out here. He smiled when he saw Belle waiting for him on the couch. “Hey you.”
“Hey, is the boat ok?” Belle asked dropping the book she’d been reading and looking up at him. He was completely soaked and shivering. “Shawn, you’re cold! Come over here.”
Shawn slowly made his way over to her, wishing he’d thrown on a rain jacket. She was right, he was cold, too cold. He sighed when she pulled him down behind her and covered him with a blanket. “Mmmm.. you’re warm.”
“I’d hope so.” Belle said pushing his wet hair off his forehead and looking at his lips. “You shouldn’t have gone out in just your shorts. Now you’re going to get sick.”
“I’ll be ok.” Shawn said smiling at her. “Did you get something to eat yet? I’m starving and I know that we brought some canned soup with us.”
“Zac and Aimee ate but I was waiting for you.” Belle said shaking her head. “They had sandwiches that Zac made since I can’t bend my knee to walk. I don’t think it’s broken, just too swollen.”
“You stay here and I’ll get some on the stove.” Shawn said climbing up and stealing her warm blanket. “Where are the two of them?”
“In bed.” Belle replied slowly hopping into the kitchen and sliding into a chair. “Zac was falling asleep and Aimee was asleep. He said he’d take her in and sleep with her in the little bed so she wouldn’t be scared. So I guess that leaves us to bunk together tonight.”
“Are you ok with that?” Shawn asked as he poured two cans of soup into a pot and started to heat it over the propane stove. He looked at her carefully, his eyes falling to rest on the massive black bruise on her leg. “Do you want more ice?”
“Yes please.” Belle said trying to hide her leg from his view. The bruise was the ugliest thing she’d ever seen. “Ha.” She said realizing what she’d been thinking. “I was just thinking that this was the most awful thing I’ve ever seen. That’s got to be a good sign.” She smiled as he handed her another towel full of ice. “And yes, I’m ok with it.”
Shawn turned back to the stove as butterflies started up in his stomach. He didn’t know what would happen if he slept with her again. He’s been having fantasy’s at night for a few weeks and he wasn’t sure how she’d react to the noises he knew he made. “I’ll go add a few extra blankets and pillows in a minute.” He said pouring her a bowl and handing it to her with a spoon. “Did you want bread too?”
“The soup is fine.” Belle said shaking her head at him. She quickly ate while he busied himself in the room and waited for him to come back. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” Shawn said smiling at her. “I looked in on Aimee and Zac. They’re curled up together sound asleep. I think they’re out for the night too after all the running around they did.”
“Probably.” Belle said pushing herself to her feet testing her knee. Sharp pains spread along her leg, but it held her weight. “I’m going to go and get ready for bed. Did you bring a T-Shirt that I could sleep in?”
“In my bag.” Shawn said with a nod. He watched her hobble from the room and he suddenly felt like the bruise was his fault. If he hadn’t dumped her in the water then she wouldn’t have gotten hit by the log in the waves. ‘I said I’d never hurt her, and I already have.’
***
Belle sat down slowly on the bed, wincing at the intense pain that had now spread to her foot. Slowly she pulled her toes back towards her knee and yelped as it felt like she was ripping herself apart. “Ouch.”
“I found this in the bathroom.” Shawn said emerging in a clean pair of boxers with a wrap in his hand. “I know it will hurt, but it should help with the swelling.” He knelt in front of her as he slowly started to wrap the fabric around her leg, applying pressure to the leg and making her wince again. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.” Belle said gritting her teeth against the pain. She knew he wasn’t trying to hurt her, but the bruise was making that hard. “Geeze, I didn’t think it hit me that hard.”
“It took you off your feet.” Shawn pointed out as he secured the bandage and helped her get settled in the bed. He moved to flick off the lights when the cabin went dark and quiet. “Shit. Let me run a flashlight into the kids. Will you be ok?”
“Yes.” Belle said biting down on her lip at the darkness. “Just say something before you climb in bed or you’ll scare me.” She slid down under the cool covers and held her breath. She felt silly still being afraid of the dark at her age.
“It’s me.” Shawn said as he made his way into the pitch blackness of the room. He’d only brought one flashlight with them and he was glad that his family were a bunch of romantics, leaving lots of candles around the place. “I brought a few candles in with me, I figured we’d leave one on for a few minutes.” He struck a match and grinned as the room became shadowy but lit up. “There, that’s better.”
“You’re telling me.” Belle said breathing a sigh of relief at the light. “I can’t believe I still don’t like the dark!”
“You’re not the only person who doesn’t like darkness I’m sure.” Shawn said placing the candle on the bedside table and sliding into the bed. He could feel her heat on the covers and he smiled at her. “I won’t think any less of you for it.”
“Good.” Belle said with a giggle. She snuggled against him with a smile. “I’ve missed you Shawn.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Shawn said kissing her forehead lightly. “I’m amazed at what one session has done for you. Just think if you’d have gone the first time I mentioned it where we’d be.”
“We’d probably be Mr. and Mrs. Brady by now.” Belle said as her smile turned to a frown. She wanted nothing more than to be Shawn’s wife, but she wanted to be able to make love to him before they decided to get married. “But soon, soon we’ll be ok.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.” Shawn said holding her tightly against his chest. “I love you Belle Black. I will always love you no matter what happens to us. You know that right?”
“Of course I know that.” Belle said smiling up at him. “And I love you to. Hey, I said it!” She winked at his smile before resting her head on his shoulder. “Mary told me that it would come to me when I was ready to admit my feelings again. I guess it must be the real thing if it comes this soon. Then again, I always knew it was the real thing.”
“You better have known.” Shawn said tickling her side softly. “Although I’m really enjoying this we should get some sleep. The power’s out so that means that we have no water or heat right now and I’m freezing. Plus Aimee will probably freak when she gets up so we should have some rest to deal with her.”
“You’re right.” Belle said as he blew out the candle and cuddled against her. “And we have the rest of our lives to talk.”
“You’ve got that right.” Shawn said kissing her softly before closing his eyes. “Someday soon we’ll be back to where we were two years ago. And when that day comes look out Miss Black, because I’m going to sweep you off your feet; you won’t know what hit you!”
Chapter 26
Belle sighed as she rolled over and felt Shawn protectively wrap his arms around her. He was still asleep, she could hear his even breathing, and she thought it was sweet that he still wanted to hold her. Grinning she slowly pulled away from him and started to climb from the bed. “Ouch!” She exclaimed as she carelessly stood on her leg and reached out for support as it gave out on her. Her fingers caught the edge of the bedside table and it came crashing down on her. “Oh.”
Shawn bolted upright at the sound of Belle’s whimpering cries and looked around for her. Spotting her head resting against the bed he climbed out and walked around to her. The bedside table was resting on her sore knee, pinning her to the floor. “Hey you, what happened?” He asked as he carefully removed the table and helped her back onto the bed.
“I was trying to go to the bathroom.” Belle said with a hiccup. Her leg was throbbing again and she was starting to think she’d done more than just bruise it. “But I stood up with out thinking and fell, grabbing the table for support.”
“Why didn’t you just wake me up?” Shawn asked bending to examine her knee. “I don’t think you should try to stand on this at all. Come on, I’ll take you into the bathroom and wait until you’re finished.”
“I feel like a child.” Belle grumbled as Shawn carried her towards the bathroom. “I’m twenty two, almost twenty three and I’m still being carried around!”
“Stop your whining.” Shawn teased as he set her down inside the bathroom carefully, making sure she was on her good leg. “Just call when your finished and I’ll come get you. I’m going to check the damage outside.”
Shawn quietly made his way through the still dark cabin. The power was still off and the temperature in the room was quite cold, making him glad that Aimee was sleeping with Zac. He slowly opened the door only to be forced back inside by raging winds and rain. “Well it’s still storming.” He said locking the door and checking the taps in case they were still running the water, nothing came out and he shook his head.
“Shawn.” Belle called out as she opened the bathroom door. “I’m done.”
“Coming.” Shawn said quickly moving to pick her up again. He could see pain in her eyes and wondered if she’d taken any aspirin for it. “Looks like we’re still raging out there. I’m thinking we’ll send a mayday to the coast guard in the morning so they know we’re out here.”
“Good idea.” Belle said as they lay in each others’ arms. It was like nothing had ever happened between them, he was still holding her like he did when they were 18. “I don’t understand why my knee hurts this much. I got his by a small log in wavy water and I can’t walk on it. I just don’t get it.”
“There are a lot of things that could be wrong.” Shawn said kissing her nose lightly. “But we’ll deal with it when we get back to Salem. But for now, we go back to sleep since it is only 2 am.”
“Good idea.” Belle said with a small yawn. She was surprised that she was able to sleep in Shawn’s arms, and it made her feel a little better about her knee. “I love you Shawn.”
“I love you too Isabella.” Shawn said curling up against her back and snuggling into the bed. He smiled as he remembered that they had made love for the first time in this very bed almost five years ago. ‘We’ll make love here again.’ He thought kissing her shoulder blade lightly. ‘I know we will.’
***
“It’s not broken, but you’ve done a load of damage.” Lexie said as she looked at the X-rays of Belle’s knee. “It looks like you may have torn the ligament and tendon sometime during the past two days. I do see a few bone fragments over here though. I’m sorry Belle, but it looks like you’re going to need surgery to fix this up.”
Belle groaned at the prospect of being laid up again. She hated being confined to a bed or a room and now she’d have to do it again. “How soon can I get it done?” She asked hoping to get it over with as soon as possible.
“I’m going to call orthopedics and see when they have an opening.” Lexie said reaching for her phone. She spoke to someone on the other end while making notes on Belle’s chart. “If you have time for another appointment then you can probably get in tomorrow at the latest. Dr. Cooke has a free appointment in two minutes, I’ll get you up there now and then we’ll know more.”
“Ok.” Belle said as Lexie came around to push her wheelchair. “Let’s roll.”
***
“Mommy have an owie?” Aimee asked as she leaned over to kiss her mother from her place in her father’s arms. The machines around the room make funny noises and they scared her.
“Yes sweet girl mommy has an owie.” Belle replied groggily smiling up at her daughter. True to her word, Belle had been into surgery later that day and now she was waiting for the anesthetic to wear off. “But I’ll be ok in a little while.”
“Mommy had to get a new owie to get her old one fixed.” Shawn explained to the wide eyed child. “Give her another kiss and I’ll take you back out to Grandma, ok?”
“I love you mommy.” Aimee said doing just as her father told her. “Here, you keep Autumn, she’ll make you feel better.”
Belle smiled as her daughter dropped the soft teddy into her arms and waved goodbye. As soon as Aimee had been old enough to climb up on hers and Shawn’s bed she’d claimed the bear as her own. Lightly fingering the teddy’s ear Belle felt herself getting sleepy again.
“Belle are you still awake?” Dr. Cooke asked as he stopped by her bed.
“Yes.” Belle said shaking the tired feeling. “How did it go?” She smiled as Shawn wrapped his fingers around her hand.
“We had to repair a few things.” Dr. Cooke explained in a soft voice. “Two ligaments were torn, and two tendons had damage to them. Those bone fragments that Lexie pointed out had to be removed and the fluid sac was drained. All in all things went great and you should be back on your feet in a couple of weeks. We’re not going to cast you, just give you a brace to wear for a little bit. I’ll recommend you to a physio clinic and you can make those arrangements starting in about two weeks. Sound good?”<br />
“Thank you.” Belle said nodding her head at him.
“Come in and see me after your first physio appointment and I’ll have a look at things.” He said before he turned to leave them alone. “I’ll be back to release you later.”
Shawn felt the hair on his neck stand up at the tone of the doctors voice. He didn’t know what it was about medical staff, but they all seemed to have a hit of sexual intention when it came to Belle. “Go back to sleep sweetie, I’ll be right here.” Shawn said giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. ‘No way in hell I’m leaving you alone with him around.’
Chapter 27
Belle stifled a scream as she slowly hobbled after Aimee on her crutches. “Aimee come on, we have to go.” She said leaning against the wall to catch her breath. “Aimee, if we don’t get in the car in the next two minutes we’re going to miss saying goodbye to Grandma Marlena before she goes to Switzerland.”
“No!” Aimee said with a giggle as she dashed past her mother and hurried into the living room. “Don’t want to say goodbye to her. She has to stay if I don’t say goodbye.”
“Aimee, she has to go with or with out your kisses.” Belle said fighting tears that were welling in her eyes. Aimee was getting to be too smart and too quick for her to cope with on her own and she was thinking that it was time to put her into daycare. “Aimee, come on please? Don’t make me have to call uncle Brady.”
“Why is Grandma Marlena going away?” Aimee as she skipped up to her mother. “I don’t want her to go.”
“I know you don’t.” Belle said quickly slipping Aimee into her jacket and pulling a hat down over her blonde hair. “I don’t want her to go either. But she wants to go over and help those who have problems with voices in their heads because of that war she told you about.”
“What about you?” Aimee asked doing a little dance towards the door. “You have voices in your head, I hear you talk to them.”
Belle looked at her daughter and gasped. “Aimee, I do not have voices in my head!” She said feeling hurt that her daughter could think that her mother was a nutcase. “When I talk to myself I’m usually cooking or things like that where I want to make sure I’m doing things right. No one is talking back to me like with these people Grandma wants to help.”
“If you say so.” Aimee said grabbing her mothers purse and heading towards the car. The late October wind blew her hair around and she giggled when a leaf went flying past her. “I still think you’re talking to someone. Why else would you be yelling at someone named Rex?”
Belle gasped again at the mention of her ex-husbands name. “Aimee, how do you know about Rex?” She asked carefully making her way down towards the car.
“I hear you talking to him.” Aimee replied trying to open the door so she could climb in. “You call him mean names and tell him that he can’t ruin your life anymore. Did you love this guy mommy?”
“No sweetie, I don’t love this guy and I never have.” Belle said opening the door and letting Aimee climb inside. “I love your daddy and he’s the only one.”
“What about Grandpa John?”
“Never mind your Grandpa John.” Belle said as tears welled in her eyes as she pulled herself into the car and started the engine. “He and I don’t get along anymore, just like he and Grandma Marlena don’t get along. Who told you about him anyway?”
“Uncle Brady.”
Belle fumed as they made their way towards her mothers apartment. Their father had been listed as off limits for Aimee and it bothered her that Brady had not honored her and Shawn’s wishes. She was still angry when they met Shawn out side the apartment complex.
“Hey, how are my favorite girls?” Shawn asked as he helped them both out of the car. He could feel tension as soon as he opened the door to get Belle out and it made him worry that something had happened while he’d been at the office.
“Mommy mad.” Aimee said as she skipped towards the doors.
“What happened?” Shawn asked placing a gentle kiss on Belle’s cheek.
“Aimee thinks I’m a crackpot.” Belle said shaking her head in disgust. “She heard me yelling at Rex in one of my rages, or so I’m assuming. And it seems that Brady has been talking to her about John.”
“Oh.” Shawn said as his own anger started to bubble up inside her. “I thought we made it clear that he wasn’t to do that?”
“We did.” Belle said as she hobbled into the beautiful building after the tiny girl. The people in the building knew who she was and who she would be going to see, but it still made her nervous to let the child go on her own. “But it seems that he thought he had an authority over her.”
“We’ll have to talk to him later on today.” Shawn said chuckling at the sight of Aimee pushing all the buttons on the elevator and the operator struggling to keep the doors open. “Aimee’s heading to the pub with mom as soon as we drop her off. Let’s go pay Mr. Black a visit after that.”
***
Belle sat quietly as Brady brought coffee into the living room. She had wanted to burst in and start pounding on his chest telling him that he was scum. But Shawn had kept his cool and told her that they needed to talk over it quietly and civilly. “Thank you.” She slowly stirred the coffee around in the cup, too angry to actually drink any of it.
“So what brings you two by today?” Brady asked giving Shawn a cup and smiling at Mimi. “Do you miss your mom already?”
“This has nothing to do with mom.” Belle said shaking her head in response. “This has something to do with what Aimee told me this afternoon. We were getting in the car when she asked me if I loved Grandpa John.”
Brady choked on his coffee when Belle said his father’s name. Aimee had promised never to tell her mother that they talked about her other grandfather, the one she’d never met. “Oh, I thought that you weren’t going to tell her about him.”
“We didn’t.” Shawn said taking Belle’s hand to calm her. “She told Belle that you did. I thought we were in an understanding about him Brady. We do not want her to know anything about him. Look at what he’s done to Belle.”
“I know what he’s done to Belle.” Brady said glancing at Mimi who looked scared at the direction the conversation had gone. “But there are underlying circumstances that mean he’s going to be back around in Salem soon and she’s going to see him once and a while.”
“He cannot come back to Salem.” Belle said shaking her head in fear. If her father came back then she and Aimee were in danger, and that couldn’t happen. “Brady, nothing can happen to bring him back, nothing.”
“There is something Belle, and he’s coming back.” Brady said wishing that he’d had time to talk to Mimi about all this. “I’m sorry Tink, but he has to be here for this.”
“What the fuck are you talking about Brady?” Belle asked slamming her coffee cup down on the table and glaring at her brother. “What on this earth could be this important to you that he has to come back into my life? A life that I’m just getting on track.”
“Belle, Brady and I are married.” Mimi blurted sending Brady a warning look. This was thin ice for them, and she wanted to be the ones to break it. “Brady and I got married when we went to Vegas last month for work.”
Belle was speechless at her best friends words. “Married?”
“Belle, we wanted you to be there, but we thought that it would be too hard for you to handle.” Brady said moving to sit next to Mimi on the loveseat. “Belle, we’re having a baby and I want Dad to be here when the time comes.”
“No!” Belle said jumping to her feet and glaring at her brother. “No way in hell Brady! Look at what he did to me when Aimee was born! You want to bring that bastard here to be near your own child? And Mimi, how could you lie to me?”
“I didn’t want to upset you.” Mimi said feeling bad for hiding her relationship with Brady. “I was so happy and you were so scared! I didn’t want to make you feel any better!”
“No, you’re nothing but a bitch, that’s the problem!” Belle screamed reaching for her crutches. “You told me that you and Brady were nothing but friends. That was a blatant lie.” She watched those who supposedly loved her and scoffed that their looks of sympathy. “No, don’t even try to look at me like that. I’m healing in my own way and all this is going to do is set me back. I hate you! Both of you!”
Shawn watched in astonishment as Belle stormed out of the house. “Now you’ve done it Brady Black.” He said through clenched teeth. “I’m not going to fix this for you. I don’t want to see you anywhere near Belle or Aimee until I hear her say it’s ok. And the same goes for you Mimi.” He stood and headed towards the door, but Mimi’s sobs made him turn around. “Don’t bother Meems, you knew that hiding your relationship from Belle would hurt her more than telling her. You just weren’t honest enough with yourself to do what was right, and now I’m the one who has to live with it. Thanks for fucking up your sisters life, and thanks for ruining mine.”
Chapter 28
Belle sat quietly looking out at the dark mountains that loomed next to her window and smiled to herself. They had done the right thing after Mimi and Brady’s announcement. John Black would never get his hands on Aimee or Belle again, and to ensure it they left Salem, for good. The forests and mountains of British Columbia were the perfect place to bring up a small child, with room to roam and nice people to meet. She sighed remembering how Aimee had flourished in the three years since their move. Already in the fourth grade, her intelligence was well above that of a five year old, and Belle was thrilled to be able to teach her part time at home after they both got home from school, it made their time together perfect and happy.
“Here you are.” Shawn said as he poked his head into their den to see her smiling out the window. The smile was something that was finally coming back to her face, after the tears of pain and guilt that she’d been shedding for the past three years. “What’s up? Just looking at those mountains again?”
“Pretty much.” Belle said nodding and s giggling as he slid behind her and pulled her back into his chest. “I called mom today and that got me thinking again. And you know that I love to look at the mountains when I’m thinking.”
“What did your mother have to say this week?” Shawn asked wishing he’d been home to talk to the woman he loved as much as his own parents. “How is Europe treating her?”
“She’s loving it.” Belle said glad that her mother had decided to remain in Europe instead of coming back and dealing with John and her disrespectful step son. “She wants to come home and visit us Christmas time while your parents are here. She said Aimee deserves a real holiday with most of her family. She’s offering to fly up every available member of your family so we’re all together.”
“Gran would love that.” Shawn said kissing her cheek lightly. “She’s been asking if we’ve got enough room to bring her up. I think us being away for so long has been unsettling for her. I won’t make your mother pay for it, but I think it’s a good idea. But I’ll have to fly home to meet Gran, I don’t want her to fly with out someone.”
“That’s fine with me, gives me time to work on getting presents wrapped and the house decorated.” Belle said feeling content. This was what she wanted out of life. They lived only a few miles from town, they had a huge green lawn with the forest at the very back and the mountains looming above them. She loved watching Aimee run with her friends, even if they were a lot older than her, they seemed to protect her because she was younger. “And I’d love to see your Gran again. I miss the Horton Family Christmas Tree.”
“I’m sure she’ll bring it to you.” Shawn said wondering how he could get his Great grandmother on the phone without Belle hearing him. “What are you and Aimee doing tomorrow? I know it’s her day off school, are you teaching her here or letting her really get off the hook.”
“She is going to Vancouver with Molly’s family for the day.” Belle said grinning at the thought of her five year old daughter in the stores of a big city. “They’re going Christmas shopping and offered to take Aimee with them. I gave her my credit card… or so she thinks.”
“You got her a visa didn’t you?” Shawn asked with a chuckle. Aimee loved to shop and going to the mall with her was a nightmare. “That girl is gonna clean out both our trust funds.”
“Nah, it’s got a two thousand dollar limit.” Belle said smiling again. “And it’s a card from the bank. It’s attached to ours so we’ll have control over it. I’ve linked it to my palm pilot so I can keep an eye on her if I go out. I’d like to just drive for a few hours and relax in this beautiful weather.”
“You love it that there’s three feet of snow on the ground don’t you?” Shawn asked lightly tickling her sides. “This is so unlike BC though. I can’t help thinking that it’s got something to do with your good mood that there’s snow on the ground. You should have seen Aimee when she noticed the extra inches this morning, like a kid in a candy shop she was.”
“She loves it.” Belle said nodding her head. “She asked if we could go skiing over her spring break and I told her I’d talk to you about it. I’d love to take her to Whistler for a day or two, I think it would do her a world of good to get out and have some fun.”
“I’d love to his the slopes.” Shawn said attacking her sides with a fury. Her giggles and attempts to get away made him feel good, knowing that they might finally be past everything that happened. “And the thought of you curled up in a log cabin under a handmade quilt is going to be my undoing.”
“Oh Mr. Brady, are your hormones getting the best of you again?” Belle asked with a giggle. It had been five years sine they’d made love, and she knew it was killing him not to be able to do it again. But she was so close to being over everything that happened, she wasn’t ready to ruin it and set herself back just to please him. Sure they’d fooled around in bed a little, but not enough to satisfy him, or her for that matter. “Soon Shawn.” She whispered resting her head on his shoulder. “Soon.”
***
Belle smiled as she watched Alice withdrew the final ornament for the Christmas tree, a special one to commemorate the four family members who had been lost in the past few years. Abe Carver, though not family, had been there when ever a Brady or a Horton had needed him had been shot down in the line of duty, protecting his young son. Jack Deveraux had been tragically killed after a car he was helping people out of exploded, but in the process he’d saved five children. Caroline Brady had passed away peacefully in her sleep with no apparent cause. Maggie Horton had been killed by a drunk driver the Christmas before.
Belle beamed as the ornament was hung next to Alice and Toms. When Alice had called her over the summer requesting an ornament, she’d been honored. It seemed that Belle’s love of art had not gone unnoticed and she’d delicately placed the four faces of the family on the gold bulb. She grinned as Shawn squeezed her hand.
“That is probably the most beautiful ornament on the tree.” Hope commented moving closer to inspect the intricate art work. “It looks like photographs.”
“It’s not photographs.” Belle said with a laugh. “I spent twenty hours on each face, I wish I could have used pictures!” She shook her head and laughed along with the rest of her family.
“This is gonna be the best Christmas.” Aimee said wiggling onto her Great-great grandmothers lap and smiling. “Can you read us the Christmas story Gran?”
“I don’t think I’m up to it.” Alice replied placing a warm kiss on Aimee’s cheek. “How about if you ask your mother to read it for us?”
Belle gasped and noticed the sparkle in the old woman’s eyes. “Me?” She asked in total shock. Never in her life had she expected to read the Christmas Story at a Horton family party. “Are you sure.”
“You may not bare the Brady or Horton name, but you will always be one at heart.” Alice said extending the book out to the tiny girl. “Please Isabella, do me the honor of reading this story tonight.”
Belle gulped as she took the well worn book and opened it to the marked page. Pride surged through her body as she started to read the tale that she’d listened to from before she could remember. She cuddled Aimee when the child curled up on her lap and fought tears as her daughter joined her in reading the final few verses of the story…
And she brought forth her first born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone around about them; and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them,
"Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
Chapter 29 - NC17
“Look at those hills!” Aimee exclaimed as she jumped out of the car. She’d had no problems convincing her parents that Whistler was the perfect place for them to spend her spring break, since she knew they both loved to ski. “Oh, can I go on that one?”
Belle laughed as her daughter pointed to the longest hill that was visible to them. “I think you need to get in some more years of practice before you can go on big hills like that.” She explained as Shawn handed her a pair of skis and slipped the bag containing Aimee’s over his shoulder before grabbing for his snowboard. “Your father and I don’t even go on those kinds of hills.”
“Oh, well if you and daddy can’t go on them then I definitely can’t go.” Aimee said sliding along a patch of ice and giggling when she toppled over into the freshly fallen snow. “Can I take lessons today?”
“Of course you may.” Belle said glad Aimee hadn’t asked her to be the teacher. She may love to glide down the hills, but her technique was her own and wanted Aimee to learn the proper ways. “Do you want to learn by yourself or go with a group?”
“By myself.” Aimee said taking her mothers free hand as they approached the lodge. She wasn’t a fan of crowds, and knew that this would be a busy place. “Is that ok?”
“That’s fine.” Belle said glancing up at Shawn. Aimee was so quiet around people, making friends easily, but being very mistrusting. ‘So much like me.’ Belle thought squeezing her hand reassuringly. “Let’s take you in and see if they have anything available right now.”
“I’ll go pick up our lift tickets.” Shawn said slipping Aimee’s skis and boots over her shoulder and giving her a kiss. “Be a big girl for daddy and have a fun time ok?”
“I will daddy.” Aimee said giving him a huge smile. “You have fun too.”
Shawn watched as Belle and Aimee headed over towards a short line for lessons and smiled. Aimee was such a joy and he silently thanked God for her and Belle. He glanced at them again before heading over to the ticket counter to get the lift tickets. ‘Well this vacation may be just what Belle and I need.’
***
“Is she asleep?” Shawn asked as Belle closed Aimee’s door and headed towards him on the couch. He’d noticed that Aimee’s eyes had begun to droop over an hour ago, but the tiny dynamo had fought it off as long as she could. Until her mother insisted that it was bedtime.
“Dropped as soon as her head hit the pillow.” Belle said sliding onto Shawn’s lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. They had started to become more physical with each other since Christmas, but always stopping before it went too far. “I’m sure she’s out for the night after the day she had. And that leaves us with the evening to ourselves.”
“And what would you like to do with that time?” Shawn asked trying to keep his voice smooth. He lightly ran his fingers along the soft blue sweater she’d pulled on after her shower and lowered his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.
“I was thinking that maybe we’d take a dip in that hot tub on the balcony out there.” Belle said pointing to the patio doors that could be seen through their open bedroom door. “I mean, it’s there and I’d hate to see it go to waste.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea.” Shawn said as she climbed up off his lap and grasped his hands in hers. This was a side of Belle that he hadn’t seen in a while and he wanted to make sure he didn’t push her. “But, we didn’t bring swimsuits did we?”
“No.” Belle said glad her back was turned to him so he couldn’t see the grin on her face. “But that’s ok. I mean, you have seen me naked before. I think you can control yourself for a twenty minute soak can’t you?”
Shawn groaned at the torture she was already putting him through. “Belle, are you sure this is a good idea?” He asked knowing that he would have to use every bit of willpower he had to keep from jumping her once they got in the water. “I mean, do you realize what you’re asking me to do?”
“Sure I do.” Belle said closing the patio door behind them and checking to make sure there were towels in the warmer. “I mean, I’m stiff from skiing and so are you. This soak will do wonders for your body. Nothing has to happen.”
Shawn tried to fight out his hormones as she grabbed the sweater by the hem and pulled it over her head, tossing it to the ground. A powder blue silky bra covered her body and he groaned. Her breasts had grown in size after the baby and Aimee and he longed to take them in his hands and love them they way he had when they were teenagers. “Belle.”
“Come on Shawn, it’s cold out here.” Belle said slowly pushing her jeans over her hips and stepping out of them. She’d slipped her socks off earlier and was glad the lodge staff had kept the deck free of snow. She watched his eyes as she reached behind her back and tried to undo her bra. “Ugh, could you help me with this?” She turned her back and hoped he’d undo it for her.
Shawn slowly reached out and brushed his fingers over the fabric. He’d noticed how her nipples had hardened when they’d been exposed to the cool air through the fabric and he wondered if they would get harder from being completely bare. Fumbling with the clasp for a second he quickly released it. “There you go.”
“Thanks.” Belle said turning back to him and letting the fabric join her sweater on the floor. “Brr.. it’s really cold out here.” She slowly pushed the matching panties she wore down her legs, and gave them a toss. They landed in a heap near his feet and she giggled before stepping towards the tub. She could feel Shawn’s eyes on her body and she shivered with excitement.
Shawn watched as Belle slipped her body down into the steaming water, his gaze settling on the mess of blonde curls that covered her most sensitive parts and contemplated going and joining Aimee in her room for the night. Belle’s body had been foreign to him for almost six years, and he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he joined her in the hot tub.
Belle watched as Shawn fought an internal battle. She moaned contently hoping to entice him to come in with her. “Oh this feels so good.” She said leaning her head back and watching him through barely open eyes.
Shawn shook his head as his hormones took over. Grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head he glanced at her again. ‘I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into Belle Black.’
