while on tour in africa dave,baco and rob decide to go for a walk

in the jungle. after a while they realise they're lost and before

they know it, they're captured by cannibals. the cannibal king

tells them that the only way they can survive is to pass a trial.

first, they must go into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of the

same kind of fruit.

baco comes back first and says to the king, "i brought ten

apples".

the king then explains the next part of the trial to him. "you

have to shove the fruits up your bottom without any expression

on your face or you will be eaten".

the first apple is fine but on the second baco screams out with

pain, so he's killed on goes to heaven.

dave then arrives and shows the king his ten fruits - they're

berries.

he's having no trouble with the second part of the trial until

the tenth berry when he bursts out in laughter, and is also

killed.

when baco and dave meet in heaven, baco asks, "why did you

laugh? you almost got away with it!"

dave replies, "i know, i couldn't help it. i was doing fine when

all of a sudden rob showed up with those watermelons..."

Where the heck was Toby?

he was one of the cannibals?

toby was to clever to go for a stroll i the jungle in the first place.

It's more likely that Toby went for a stroll with them but then got LOST

































And he's still missing to this day

maybe toby was one of the watermelons

not really that likely is it?

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife."

A bus filled with politicians on the campaign trail was driving through the countryside. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, lost control and went off a bridge.

A farmer living nearby heard the horrible crash and rushed out to discover the wreckage. With grim determination, he buried the politicians.

The next day, the police came to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

a man walks into a bar with a giraffe. The man and the giraffe

go and sit at the bar and get absolutely wasted...

Come closing time, they are both completely fucked. As they

are getting kicked out, the giraffe passes out due to being

cunted. The barman shouts to the giraffe's companion, "OI, you

can't leave that lyin' there!". The man replies, "It's not a

lion, it's a giraffe!"

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.