Hey Henri,
Just read about your xmas and was Just wondering if our hubbys could be brothers!! Because when you described his family I swore you were talking about my INLAWS!!LOL-Probably the only difference is the lanuage barrier Which is always causing fights because the "white girls" of the family (Yes me included) are always left out of the conversations! This use to bug me when our kids were little not anymore because pay back is now here None of the grandchilren speak spanish SO now the white girls and the Kids RULE!!!
I know exactly what you mean about the gift giving nightmare-I'm just happy my kids aren't one of the snobby ones!! Things will get better when your kids get older and you don't have to play into all of that! I just give gift cards to them all (of course you hear the remarks of where there from and how much it is)! Always tell my girls marry an only child!! Well I will be thinking of you and knowing atleast I'm not alone!! Merry XMAS to you

Hey BNoMOre,
I am learning more and more that there are many people "related" to my hubby or at least his family!!!!! It puts a real damper on the holidays ~ more drama last night when we got home....instead of doing gifts at the family Christmas party, everybody wants us to get together seperately too and exchange gifts; this is after we said the only time that would work for us IS at the christmas party, we had already made other plans. But we are expected to accomodate, because hey I stay at home with my kids and I have no life and nothing better to do!!!!! (I feel better now)

Told dh that I was done, I didn't want to do Christmas any more!!!! with his side of course. Its getting to the point that he doesn't want to participate with them either. The downside to that is I'll hear about it later from his side if we bale out, they won't say a word, but body language is a killer. I have weekly "visitations" there, and they are nightmares ~ I sit around for 2hours and do nothing but talk about my sister-in-laws kids!!! Fun Fun Fun. Anything my kids do, "oh so and so has been doing that for months" even though he is younger and hasn't been ~ don't you hate perfect children!!!

I am extremely grateful that we have been able to raise our children differently and that my dh is very supportive of it. Otherwise I don't think I think I would be able to do it on my own. My Boys really mimic their father!!!! We are actually, even at this young age 7-5, realizing that our kids are seeing everything, and they are starting to ask questions because they don't understand why they act like that. Its interesting how they perceive what is going on.


Its nice to know others are "suffering" on Christmas too!! *wink* The family gathering is on Christmas Eve, let me know when yours is!!!! We can support each other during our wonderful visits.

OH YEAH!! The horrible get together with the "Bewitches" is Xmas Eve as well-Just remember since your kids are picking up this negative behavior at at young age they will benefit from it-My sis in law had triplets that are 2 years older than my first born-And Yes went thur the whole "they are the smartest kids EVER!! Well not to brag BUT now they are 20 and mine 18- Mine is away to college doing the dorm thing very athletic as well as mine 15 yr old who already has colleges looking at her for s-ball-and the triplets Well where do we start-One is having a baby from some one night stand (his other g-freind just had her baby last month), the other girl has tatooes and piercings, and does nothing but party, the boy well don't even want to know!!! And they all live at home with no JOBS!!! So let their parents have thier glory right now because they are only hurting their children, which is so sad!! As I mentioned b-4 got together with my hubby at a young age, every one said it wouldn't last WEll we proved them wrong!! Out of his 4 brothers and 2 sisters our family is the only ones going somewhere in life!! So just keep your head up and remember your will prevail because you have your wonderfull husband standing by your side!! I will cheer to you on XMAS Eve!!!

I swear we should be related!!!! Your story fits perfectly in this family ~ only about 10 years down the road. My dhs brother is dating a woman who is still married, she lives part of the week with her husband and the other half with him! The other brother is doped out on drugs, just got married this summer and we didn't even get invited, in fact the whole family thinks we just didn't want to go, only one knows for sure that we didn't get invited!!!! One sister has a nice boyfriend, we actually get along as long as we avoid certain subjects, but last year at this time she hated my guts and talked a lot of trash. Her son is much older, she had him when she was 15, and now is 34. He is going nowhere in his life right now, we tried to help him out by buying him a car, that we later had to take back, and the car he has now is a piece of crap ~ one shot and he blew it. Drugs and drinking and what else. He can't think past his head ~ and unfortuantly it isn't the one he should be thinking with *WINK*

The sister inlaw that I have a problem with acts like I am good for nothing, partly because you know I stay at home and do nothing all day ~ wonder how my house cleans itself? and partly because my husband and I live a more comfortable life, we aren't rich, but we also don't lack for things, and don't have $40,000 on credit cards! and partly because I don't run out and buy the latest style to wear once and four sizes to small at that so my body oozes out in all the wrong places!! But still I come home feeling degraded and fat every time!! One of her children which my kids get compared with the most is in between my two and from the way they talk he is the Albert Einstein, yet is lacking some "normal" developmental skills. He also has this fear of dirt, he is not allowed to get dirty, because well.........its dirty!! My kids live in the dirt, they can find dirt anywhere! ~ hey thats what a washer is for and a bath tub. We should live on a farm!! *SMILE* My kids aren't rocket scientest, one is somewhat advanced for his age, and the other is.........welllll..............lets just say I love him dearly, but he is making me crazy, and would give Evil Kanevil (sp) a run for his money, our recent experience was left staples in the head!!!! I am tired of looks like there is something wrong for my boys actually acting like boys, they are normal. But to them they aren't. They are "different". I get these looks when we are over, like up and downs on both them and I, like the way we are dressed isn't good enough ~ I dress for comfort more then style ~ I have my own style. Then I hear about how she squeezes her a** into pants smaller then mine, and how good she looks for having multiple children. I come back so depressed. And if my kids don't know something about the latest tv shows, then I am a horrible parent. hey we don't even own a tv ~ they play outside all the time, coats and hats ~ and lots of hot chocolate ~ we also are rarely sick.

My husband says the same thing you said ~ years down the road they won't be able to deny the truth ~ its just the years until then I have to get through.

I like the Bewitches that was so cute and I am just dying over here.

Thanks for letting me get this out, its so comforting to hear how things should turn out!!! I think we should be great friends!

BRING ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!! Oh yeah, thought you would like to know before I forget ~ we are doing christmas twice on Christmas Eve, once at the party and then make in mit's (mother in laws), because its just too complicated to do things at the party!!! (ROLLING MY EYES AND GRITTING MY TEETH)

FUNNY!! My girls were never girls--They were always atheletic and I never dressed them in dresses! Seee I wanted all boys!!! And funny I do live on a Ranch (farm) We have 3 acres my girls have always loved being outdoors and camping-We never shopped at the good stores Hell if it came from Kmart my girls were never to proud to say so--My husband is the only one in his family that didn't go to college-But we have more to show for, He has always coached my dtrs in s-ball and every weekend we are out traveling with his/dtrs travel softball team-Like you said we don't owe things on credit-B-cause we both are self-employed whereas the inlwas are all up to their ears in debt because instead of spending time with the kids they just buy them things to make them feel like good parents--We always have to hear about who got the biggest diamond for xmas-I am proud to say this year I got grass put in my park and a new gazebo. the sisinlaws are going to love that one! Last year I got a new fuel pump for my surburan and my poor husband got raked over the coals for that one from the BEWITCHES! But hell I wouldn't trade my life with any of them-And when i get my big boobies I am not going to tell them how that happened! so just keep in mind the good years are coming because your kids will respect you and will understand and know you!!! Good luck!!

This is too funny ~ this year for Christmas I got a new Tractor!!! Yes you read that right, not no stinkin riding lawn mower, but an actual tractor ~ its Kabota and comes fully equipped with the loader and backhoe and forkprong things!!, we have a couple acres but it isn't a "farm", apparently you need animals and such for the farm that he wants!!! I also got a new sewing machine, I already know about it because I bought it or I wouldn't have gotten it! and you should see the looks already ~ you got a what? For my birthday, it will probably be new tires on my truck, instead of just buying a new one, because you know it is six years "old", but they might come like oh next month or something, because they really are starting to die. I like simplicity and practicality, and whats wrong with flowers from my garden? its the thought that counts, and saves a penny or two! I hardly even wear my diamond, if I did, I would have it caked with dirt, or comet, or would have lost it by now. It comes out on special occasions, other then that, it sits in its pretty little box and looks quite nice ~ and yeah, I have gotten looks that its "small", and the cut is all "wrong", but you know what, my dh picked it on his own and surprised me with it, so its beautiful to me. I didn't go and pick it out myself so he didn't "screw" it up!!

I have to agree with the whole buying things to be a good parent, because we see it alot. And its a shame really. The boys ask alot ~ why does so and so get whatever, don't you have money to do that? Then we have to sit down and explain that we do have the money, but they have plenty of toys and we don't need to buy them things all the time, and we love have said money to take them to special lunches instead. Then go on with life perfectly happy, but its like hitting your head in a wall. What are name brand clothes?!!!!

Congrats on the grass and gazebo, I am sure it looks nice ~ and what a wonderful gift that was! I need some grass too, right now we have a nice mud pit about the size of a half acre, hey it at least amuses the boys!!! and gives me something to do since I sit at home and eat bon bons!
If I have girls, they would be raised the same way. Although I am not a tomboy, I am don't have to buy "dirty clothes" to play in the dirt ~ anything will do really!