*sigh* I want to break up with my boyfriend, and I feel really bad about it. I've had this crush on one of my other friends for a couple of months now, but it was only little at first, but now it's driving me crazy! I feel really awful about it, because it's not like my b/f is doing anything wrong, and I don't like dumping guys for others guys. I usually break off my relationships because it just isn't working out, not because I like someone else better.

I'm not even physically attracted to him anymore. I mean, yeah, he's good-looking and everything, but he feels like a brother, and I keep comparing him to my friend. I keep having these involuntary thoughts like, "Man, ________ would look so much better in that color." If I break up with my current b/f he's gonna be walking around confused, wondering where everything went wrong and thinking that he can never trust another woman ever again.

And plus, if I break up with him and tell him my reason, would it be rude if I started a relatioship with the other guy (assuming he feels the same way, that is) soon after?

Hey-
I may not be the best advice giver, but I think you should approach the two issues separately
- you're not attracted to your bf anymore
- you have a crush on a guy

If you're not happy in your current relationship and you don't feel attracted to him, then you'd actually be doing a service to him by breaking things off now. Don't act out of impulse or fantasy, though. There's a chance that this other guy may not be into you, and even if he is, its not necessarily going to develop into a good relationship. Its normal to have a random crush here and there even when you're in a relationship. Maybe the "honeymoon is over" with you and your current bf, and you just need to add a little excitement to spice things back up. You're the only one that can really make that call

Good luck!

Don't feel guilty about acting towards your own happiness. It's not wrong to put your need and wishes before those of other people, it's the right thing actually. If it wasn't, everyone should condem themselves to misery and that wouldn't be a very well functioning world. We do have to have consideration towards other people, but no less we have to have it towards ourselves. Just tell him the truth.

I went through a similar thing a couple of years ago I wasn't attracted to another guy but I was not happy in my relationship anymore.
I think you just need to get up the courage to tell your boyfriend how you are feeling, although I would leave out the bit about liking someone else because I think that would just cause him unnecessary pain.
But like one of the other girls said you will be doing him a favour by breaking up with him and you need to do what makes you happy.
I heard a good quote once "don't be afraid to give up the good for the great"

Hope everything works out okay x

what you are going through is not uncommon... i would say 90 percent of the girls on here have gone through it at one point or another! sometimes even with husbands/wives...

the question is really why... why were you with your bf in the first place, what made you attracted to him, is that gone, etc. sure, like moon says, you should persue your happiness, but make sure it is happiness and not just random crushes, you know? try (its hard) to stop comparing them and take each one separately, in your own head or on two pieces of paper (so they arent side by side, forcing you to compare). not pros and cons, just whys and why nots. anything like "because he looks cuter in red than so-and-so" go ahead and line out... :)

ive done it before, dumped guys for other ones. ive also not done it... but usually there is a real reason when i do it... like that boyfriend who cried more than i did... like, every day... like, he would think i was breaking up with him if i asked him what he wanted to do for dinner... boy, i sure knew how to pick 'em... i went through a string of "not right for me" guys... we all do. its dating. but its important to understand why you are tossing out the ones you toss, so you dont make the same mistake again...

i hope that helps... good luck with the decision. its not an easy one!

I ended a four years and a half relationship almost two years ago, if you put it straight forward, I broke up with A because I met B who I'm going out with now. But B isn't really the "reason" that I broke up with A.

I was the third person when I first started going out with A, and then he cheated on me twice; the first one was just playing around because we were in a long distance relationship, and the second one was a serious one, he really liked both me and the other girl. Breaking up never came across my mind during those times, because I was weak, and I just came to the States for 3 or 4 years, I didn't who else to turn to besides him. I loved only him, but I was also hurt only by him. Then I went to Taiwan (where I came from) for summer vacation, and met B who was a good friend, we talked, and he knew that I'm in a bad relationship. After I confronted B that I do have feelings for him, he said he felt the same, but he was not going to make me choose. He understands a long term relationship isn't easy to break off. By several going-outs (not alone), and I realized which one I'm going to be with.

I'm not sacrificing anything for A because he does ask me to do things whether I like it or not; but I'm willing to sacrifice for B because he will never ask me to do things that I don't like. I remember there's an old saying, something like, "The one who makes you cry doesn't worth your tears, but the one worth your tears won't make you cry."

I think I'm off-topic also, but I'm just trying to say, things take time to be figured out. Don't compare, but just feel. After awhile, you'll know which one is the best for you.

But once you know you should break up with your boyfriend, do it as soon as you can. Short pain heals faster. Don't hesitate just because you feel bad.

Greatest Boobie Love,
Vivian Shih

Hey boobies06
There is some really good advice here, and I agree that you wont be doing any one any favours by staying in the relationship. I've been in his shoes before, so I think the best would be to tell him the truth but let him down gently.

Personally I don't think its a good idea to go from one relationship straight into another, give yourself sometime and if you and this other guy are really meant to
be it will happen :)

Keep us posted, Wish u the best of luck!