I'm really scared.
I had sex last night and we used a condom but in the middle of it, he took it off. Normally I would just wait until my period and not worry about it, but oh my god... I've been taking Vitex for almost 2 months now. And one of the reasons why people take it is for fertility. Do you think Vitex extended the chances of me getting pregnant or would it not take affect yet?
Gosh, I hate worrying about this kind of stuff. He said he didn't come but he lies a lot. Welp!
:/
As you may have seen in one of my recent posts i just got over a pregnancy scare! so yes go buy plan b, its still within the needed amount of hours to work... and like i mentioned pullout or just trying not to go all the way isn't a reliable method, i have been so guilty of this in the past and while i was worrying read so many women's stories who still got preggers. so if the vitex is making you more fertile this month (who knows) you should just get the plan b. women who are trying to conceive take vitex and have gotten pregnant over on other websites i have seen.
This message has been edited by Hopeful88 on Apr 2, 2008 12:02 AM
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 2, 2008 1:31 AM This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 2, 2008 1:21 AM This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 2, 2008 1:20 AM This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 2, 2008 1:19 AM
Aw I'm sorry, ok just try not to worry. In canada, plan B costs $40 (not sure how much it is where you are). You just ask the pharamcist at your local drugstore for it and they will give it to you over the counter. Its 2 pills and should work as long as you use it soon.
Plan B is free in PlanParenthood. I advise all girls to go to PlanParenthood. I get a year and a half worth of birth control pills and they throw in a grip load of condoms and a pack of Plan B at no charge. I donate twenty dollars because I really appreciate programs like that. I'm a student and broke.
Frig Jackie. You're so young. Kick that BF of yours. Why'd he take it off! People were joking at work today that I was prego because I have the flu and the thought of it freaks me out and I'm 30. Maybe get a diaphram if your BF likes taking these kinds of risks. Protect yourself.
Like everyone has already said, your best bet would be to get the Emergency Contraceptive. Since you cannot afford it right now, find out if and where it is available online, and I would purchase it for you if you'd like.
Yea I kinda agree with lankygirl, he lies? and you aren't sure if he is telling the truth about something like this? Come on I'm sure you deserve better than that! But good luck, hope you take our advice and it ends up being nothing. As Tessica stated, you won't actually be pregnant just yet :)
I just HATE going through this. Thanks guys:]
I talked to my mom about it today and she just stared me down as I'm some scumbag and said she wouldn't get it and that I'm not pregnant. It's like, it's so much easier instead of paying for a 400-500 dollar abortion.
Lanky-
He took it off because he said he didn't like how it felt. I just feel so scummy. And even people around who knows him said he has "something" [std-wise].
:[
He's really scandalous and I just had a bit to drink. He also has another kid. Crap.
I'm not sure if there is a Planned ParentHood in my area. That just seems a bit odd, is there some sort of catch? Like they will send me a bunch of bills? Ugh. And does my mother have to be there with me? She would NOT have it. I hate talking to her about this stuff because she makes me feel like such a slut and I'm not.... at ALL.
Starr-
That's so extremely nice of you but I couldn't have you do that. I feel it's my fault and not give it for other peoples' responsibility.
I have less than two days this is terrible. I have a strong feeling I may be though because I'm well sure I can still get pregnant from pre-ejaculation.
Ughh.
With Emergency Contraception [aka Plan B, emergency birth control, Morning After Pill (a misnomer)], you can have up to 5 days after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. With Plan B in particular - as others have stated - it is a 3-day window period. Of course, the sooner you start it, the more effective it is.
I'm not sure how old you are. If over 18, you can purchase it at a local drug store or Planned Parenthood clinic without a prescription. If you are younger than 18, you will need a prescription from a health care provider. Planned Parenthood offers confidential services on a sliding scale (depending on your income/health benefits, so it's not guaranteed to be free).
You can get a lot more detailed info here:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/emergency-contraception-morning-after-pill-4363.htm
I hope everything works out for you.
This message has been edited by SoCal.grl on Apr 2, 2008 10:50 AM
Jackie,
If you know your cycle then you can know if you were ovulated on that day or not.here is how it goes.If your cycle is every 28 days you dvide them by to = 14. then you count for example you get your period on 1st day of the month then the day you could pregnant in are days 12,12.14.15.16 of that month.if you want tell me how long your cycle is and when you usually have your period (day)and i can tell you the days you can get pregnant.
Oh gosh. I never understand that stuff. I have no idea. I've never gotten to the point where I mark on the calendar when I got it or even remember for that matter.
For some reason I just always know when I am about to get it. Like the day before.
Hi jackie,
Hope u get through this on thr bright side ,that ur'e not pregnant....
I don't post here much, but i feel for u...
And more evre ,I don't think that dick face friend of urs deserve to get u pregnant...
Jackie, no one like condoms, go on the pill and try to find a man and stick to him. Don't be embarassed about the morning after pill, I had to get it once when I was nearly 22 - these things happen. I'm sure there will be somewhere near you that has some sort of confidential sexual health service for teenagers where you don't have to have parents consent and you can probably give a fake name and address. Hope you sort it out, personally I think you'd be unlucky to have one mistake and get pregnant but it can happen. Make sure you follow the instructions properly for the pills too - I think I had to take one then another 12 hours later and it says to return to the clinic if it makes you vomit in case it's not absorbed - I didn't feel ill at all and didn't get pregnant. I've also heard that having an IUD fitted within 5 days will prevent pregnancy but not sure if they'd want to do it while you're pretty young.
Jackie, I can relate to feeling scummy based on drunken decisions. It happens to the best of us. However, what doesn't always happen realizing the mistake. So many people I've known always seem to find a way to blame anything and everyone else but themselves and learn nothing, leading to them making the same kinds of choices, drunken or not. You sound bright and I feel confident you learn from your regrets.
PS
Tell your mom she can bite me for making you feel bad about approaching her and being honest. Lots of moms would love their daughters be be so forthcoming. But again, nobody's perfect, not even our moms.
Well I'm turning 20 and my mom is disgusted at seeing me even have a hickey let alone kissing or talking to her about anything!! I've never received "the talk" even though she herself was a very wild young person (I know this through family history)...
And as Louise said, there are still good chances that nothing even happened as I've only ever been with one guy (my future hubby) and we have done this many times, its just the possibility that THIS could be the time it happens is what is worrisome. And since I just went through worrying I've really learned my lesson and refuse to take off any condoms from now on regardless of how unpleasent they may be. Although I am a fan of glow in the dark ones shhhhhhhhhhh! ;)
IUD = intrauterine device = a reversible form of birth control. An IUD is a small t-shaped device inserted through the cervix into the uterus. There are two types: copper and hormonal.
yes, condoms are a pain in the ass, but they protect against HIV, AIDS and STD/STI's when used properly. Becoming pregnant shouldn't be the only worry when engaging in sex.
Yeah she's always like, 'oh you can talk to me about anything'. And asks me about sex stuff. And then when I finally need help she destroys me. Ugh.
Hahahah glow in the dark condoms. That's funny. I must try them :] lol.
And that's true socalgirl-
But it just sounds a lot scarier, the thought of me being pregnant. STD's are much easier to get rid of depending on which one it is and you won't NOTICE it or be depressed from it :/
how's it going? did u try the prevention pills yet? damn girl u're too young and ur bf.. is he really ur bf? not to be mean but he's an ******* u don't lie about ish like that.. grr he's lucky he's not dating me cuz it woulda been over for him.
Good luck with everything and u deserve better than that.. as a young and bright lady there's no reason why u can't be with a better man and have a better life.. that includes not having a child that early.
:]
No, I just had a... well I guess you could call it a "crush" [haha] on him for like 2 years. And he just got out of jail not too long ago [ugh I KNOW I KNOW...] But we're just so alike. He asked me out twice. I turned him down once because I thought he was just doing it to get in my pants. And I just haven't gotten back to him this last time. I don't think I will. Haha... Jeezzzzz. No way!!
And about the morning after pill, I don't think I'm going to:[
No money and I don't think my mother will get it. It SUCKS. And I just have a feeling it wouldn't take effect anymore :/
It would be my last day to take it [today] or at least until around 4am tomorrow morning :x OOPs! Haha.
Well, if he cares more about his pleasure than about you getting pregnant, that pretty blatantly states something doesn't it... (wonder what he'd do if you happened to become pregnant huh?). Watch out for your best interest girl, he obviously is not gonna!
Jackie - totally know where you're coming from, nothing but bad boys for me either! Hope he was big with a shaved head to make it worth the trouble! "Suitable boys" are no more attractive as you get old either so just learn to live with it! Also the main thing is to avoid AIDS esp if he's been around .... don't call him!
I'm the total opposite, the only kind of guys I like are the quiet, mature, and shy, ones. This is because if you just give them a chance when others don't and open their eyes, show them how much you can rock their world they will soo worship the ground you walk on and love you and treat you good forever ;)
Just my opinion... but give me bad boys in MOVIES and I will be swooning for them the whole 2 hours :P
I'm more like Hopeful, but I understand and take from both sides. The ''bad boy'' atraction is quite of a... how to call it to not make it sound negative, ''basic instinct reaction''. All the basic ''animalistic'' instincts of reproduction still operate in our behavior, and a bad boy signalizes virility, masculinity, strenght, competence, leadership, basically good genes to our limbic brain (the oldest part of our brain). Nothing wrong with being lust driven at times, but I think we have to understand this and use our rational judgement too. Our reproduction instincts are not so correct, since they don't take into account whether the male in question is gonna pay the bills, drive kids to school and most importantly, emotionally support us. These are the higher values and what I think makes the difference between attraction and love. We do need these higher values as well, because we are highly developed beings, we are emotional and rational, so what attraction gives us is not enoguh (tho some people somehow don't realize this and take attraction for love).
Okay this was probably kinda too scientifical / philosophical in a funny way. :p
Me, I like manly men too, who are sucessful, intelligent, competent, emotionally stable, have leadership skills, but as well are caring, *emotionally intelligent* and treat me like a queen. :]
Nah, it makes sense to me.
I hate when people tell someone they love a person the first day they go out or whatever just because they think they are "hot" or good looking.
Haha and hopeful-
That's so funny because he IS big [like buff-ish] with a shaved head. I was like whaaaaat. Haha. He kind of looks like that Steve-o guy from 'Jackaass' if anyone's seen it. But besides looks, it's hard to find someone for me because I don't settle with less than them acting EXACTLY like me. It has to be that way. But who knows.
OH. And yeah, about the "bad boy" thing, I know it's not always good but I CAN NOT stand the shy nice guys. Personally, I have like an addiction to mean guys 'cause I'm so used to it and I just get bored of the nice ones I purposely start fights 'cause I'm used to it. It BLOWS.
But, Louise-
What did you mean exactly by "suitable boys" aren't as attractive as you get older!?!? Hm..
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 4, 2008 2:34 AM
Jackie, as in I'm old and supposedly at the time for settling down and being sensible but show me someone with a thick neck, shaved head and a big scar and I'm hooked! (Obviously not that I would actually do anything or actually be looking because I'm married but just telling you what I'm into! - Hubby is actually 16yrs older than me and a chartered accountant).
Moon, it's funny you say 'intelligent' on your list, having seen both sides of the fence I would say inteliigence beyond a certain level is a turn-off for me. I think I have certain self-destructive tendencies. I've also never gone for money / career or the ability to provide for me, I just want someone who's like 250 lbs, a clear foot taller than me and preferably with a shaved head. Hubby almost makes the grade but he's too intelligent by far!
I think women are divided into those who like 'nice' and those who like 'nasty'.
Hopeful, I think it's really funny that you think being worshipped is nice, I really hate it when someone's all up on me, like a stalker - creepy!
Wow Louise I guess we're very different. I do like intelligence in a guy a lot, but it can actually be kinda scary and almost threatening at the same time too. My bf is way smarter than me and it used to feel kinda like I wasn't good enoguh for him because of that, tho I've sorted that out by now. :I But ouch, self destructive tendencies are not good...
I don'treally like shy guys tho, I like confident and even arrogant haha! :D Arrogance can be extremly hot - when one has sth to be arrogant about that is. Also niceness is not such a universal quality in a guy (or people in general) - often they are nice just case they desperately want a something (a girlfirend). And attraction somehow works in such a way that if a guy is all over a girl with niceness doing everything to make her like him, before she has taken a notice of him, it's just gonna turn her off. Moreover, this particular type of nice guys can be clingy and needy (works opposite too) and that is one of the hugest turn-offs. ''Badassness'' or confidence / arrogance over niceness are perceived as a sense of self-worh, as being selective, as a status of superiority which is why it triggers attraction on a very subconscious level.
Now, niceness + confidence and emotional independence at the same time, that's my thing. :D
(I've done it again, sorry for the psychoanalitical lesson lol :I)
Interesting stuff! I went out with someone years ago who really wasn't all that but really believed he was all that with such amazing self-importance that you'd start to believe it too.
Yeah and the shy, nice guys are pretty boring in my opinion. I wouldn't be able to make fun of people with him or say mean things about people [LOL] but in the mean guys it'd be totally more fun. They seem to have more personality anyway.
I don't know why that is. I like guys who are mean to me. Maybe because I'm used to it? An addiction pretty much.
I can understand the appeal of an arrogant guy but I just find them intimidating, sometimes offensive, and eventually annoying.
And Louise you got me wrong!! I don't mean literally some poor helpless nerd who just calls me constantly! I just mean that I give my man so much love and I know I just rock his world, so because of that he would do anything I ever ask of him, ALWAYS treat me with respect (never, lie, cheat, and he actually has a nonexistant temper), and that he will just always be loyal and love me with all his heart... never need anyone else but me because I can give him everyhing he always wanted and vice versa :)
Of course arrogance in the common sense of the word is still annoying and offensive, mostly because it's related to other negative qualities like lack of respect and an exaggerated sense of self worth. We are supposed to think we're all that and our opinion of ourselves does affect the opinion of other people. But for example the ''all women want me, I can have any woman I want'' type, now that is obnoxious, because it simply cannot be true. The important part of the attractive kind of arrogance is *to have something to be arrogant about*, and still have all the other good qualities like respect and caring.
For me niceness is not what is directly related to being boring and lacking personality (tho clinginess and neediness maybe). For me being boring is not having an opinion on anything, not having any particular interests and not being special or even weird in some aspect. I find intelligent and ''artsy'' guys the most fun and interesting. Musicians for example, esepcially metalheads hehe. :p
This message has been edited by -Moon- on Apr 5, 2008 9:39 AM
That is also true. I think I have re-considered my choice in guys at the moment. Yeah, tough, mean guys seem great but. This weekend has been complete **** for me.
I went to a friends party yesterday and one of my guy buddies wasn't "too liked" there. I told him if they give him crap or make fun of him I would stand up for him. So of course the people there DID make fun of him and tried fighting with him a few times. So my stupid drunk self punched the guy who was starting crap in his face and pulled him off of my friend. We got in a huge fight and he was like, "you need to leave this fvcking house right now". So I was like, fine. Fvck it then.
So I walked outside and 3 guys chased after me and smashed my head into the concrete, extremely beat me up TERRIBLY. And I was so mad because one of the guys was holding me down so I really couldn't fight back. So they ran in and locked the door and I punched his window in. I got in trouble and we had to go. So on the way back, there was a traffic stop and one of the cops saw me [mind it being 4 in the am at the time] and he told me to step out because he saw my face. Which was covered in pussing blood. I ended up getting taken in an ambulance to the hospital and having stitches and a staple in my head. Guys truely are *******s. And I am so mortified of this weekend that a crap load of my friends had to see this and it looks like I was dicking about not standing up for myself, problem is I really couldn't. It was totally unfair. I am so embarrassed and my face is blown up from swolleness along with my hair covered in blood. I can barely shower, I feel crippled. I have a concussion and am completely OUT of it. Ugh.
Ah Jacke, maybe it really is about time to reconsider things. People usually say that beating up women is the utmost cowardice, but I think it's more like the utmost lack of intelligence to the point of being no more advanced than an animal. Those guys don't even have the distinction of how to treat a girl and how a guy, they're that uncivilized and uncultured. Surely you recognise this as a fault, not as a quality. We are supposed to seek ineraction with people who posses qualities we admire. The vice versa behavior is self-destructive.
Btw, not only mean guys are good at verbally ripping people apart, intelligent highly critical and opinionated guys are even better hehe. ;)
Woww.. are u okay? That's crazy.. well one thing i learned was to let guys work things out themselves cuz a woman truly has no business interfering when most guys are stronger than women.. Only time i'll stand up for a guy is if he's being attacked by several guys then i'd def have his back..
be careful next time cuz where I'm from if I was to punch a guy OR a girl in the face i'd end up getting stabbed.. and not on some conceited s**t, but i'm too worthy of that..and so are you. and not to mention ur pretty face. is it worth having it re-arranged over some petty stuff? if fights can be avoided then don't provoke it.
You're right Moon.
And I know. I love when guys destroy other idiots with their intelligence and being totally calm about it, as the other person is flipping crap sounding like an idiot with so much profanity. I don't know why, but it is. It's hard to find those type of guys though, and they usually think "ohhh well I'm better than everyone else blah blah blah".
And Where are you from double_ace?
Yeah it was a few guys on him. I just promised him and I felt bad. But never again. I got the beaten of my LIFE. Ugh! But I guess I asked for it.
I'm just so embarrassed. Now I look like I can't stand up for myself or something. And I'm young so it's bad for me. Haha.
u did not deserve to get beat up.. however, u did punch the guy in the face first.. girl i cannot stress this enough.. ur boy should be able to take care of himself, i'd be more embarassed if I was him cuz he didn't manage to get u out of harms way.. that's what a mans supposed to do. I know if i got my butt beat for my boy that would make him look so bad cuz we had no business mixing and mingling with ignorant folks in the first place..
I think one thing that u learn as u get older is u know what's going to happen before it happens and u know when to avoid a situation just by feeling the negative vibe in the air
This message has been edited by double_ace on Apr 6, 2008 12:44 PM
It's true Jackie, those guys seem to be quite rare, but it's also a lot about where you look. I actually find they're not so much ''I'm better than everyone'' but ''I'm better than most people'' and they give you a chance to prove you're better as well.
Nah screw karma. You're not determined, you have a free will, the best and the only tool you need to be whatever you want to be, whatever you want to make of yourself. We deserve all the respect we demand for ourselves and we are worth everything we make ourselves worth. The only thing we have to do is say ''screw karma, I'm in control of my my life, no one says who or what I am, only I do.''
Aye, I agree with Double Ace. That frind should have had the common sense not to push where he wasn't wanted. And watch out for yourself first. It's not bad to be selfish, the best help you can be to someone else is when you've taken care of yourself. But most importantly, everyone deserves to be their own priority; you only have to say to yourself ''I deserve it'' and you do.
That is true. My stupid idea. I just hate when people beat up on my friends [especially him because he's so small] just because they think they are or try to look tough in front of their friends. He didn't even say thank you. The car ride back, he was just being drunk and swearing at me like, "WHATEVER I DIDN'T NEED YOUR HELP" as I was covered in blood. I was like thanks, great! So much for that. Haha. :/
Oh I definitely felt the negative vibe, I just like fighting when I'm drunk and continued to do so. I feel I am traumatized and I don't want to go back to his house again. Even though I am friends with him. I really have to though, I just don't want to look like I am scared of them. I just cringe to think that I could let people pass me by as that because I normally ALWAYS stand up for myself, so this sucks.
And, Moon-
Yeah it seems like those type of guys like the more intelligent girls who make fun of people as well in that way. Which isn't bad for me. It's just that I make HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE first impressions and end up dumbing myself down about 10 levels because I get shy and anxious at first. Which sucks because I always screw things up with guys I am interested in and think "damn... they really could like me because we act so similiar, I just act different when I meet people first hand".
Oh my goodness Jackie, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you! Even though you have stitches and stuff I hope you will be okay. What you went through sounds so terrifying to me like it was out of a movie or something so even though you feel like you didn't do a good job of standing up for yourself, to me you did everything to stand up, okay? That sounded really brave and maybe its because I've never even been to a house party and stuff like that but if I had been in your situation I would have been absolutely terrified.
I agree with what everyone said and I am glad to hear that you also are starting to see things differently. You don't have to go back to that guys house, and you don't ever have to talk to those people again... I certainly wouldn't. Any guys who are like that are, just as -Moon- said, animals! They are not mature, respectable, and certainly do not know how to treat their fellow human beings.
And about first impressions, I know just how you feel. You know what people LOVE to say to shy people like me as soon as they meet them? "are you like anti-social or something" Yup, I am thanks!!! That plus a bunch of other even harsher things is what so many stupid people always seem to say to me. Like don't they realize by saying something like that you kinda don't make me not want to be shy then geez!! So even though you think you're just always going to make a bad impression on different types of people you can't let that get to you, because the way I met my future hubby was completely by accident! Something about meeting him I suddenly KNEW what to say, I wasn't neverous and never have been with him.
So knowing how funny you can be, smart (look at your thirst to gain NBE knowledge!) and what a beauty you are (I'm sure of it :)) you are BETTER than those people without a doubt okay?
Best wishes, I hope everything goes well for you and that you heal up quiclky and get back to being your normal self!
MOON: you obviously don't understand what karma is. maybe i should have explain it better: karma is the returning of what you do, if you do something good, then something 3 times better will return to you, and if you do some thing bad, then something 3 times bad will happen to you. karma doesn't control you or your destiniy, it just rewards or punishes you for the things you do. like if you steal, you may have money problems for a long time, or if you like, help your elderly neighbor on weekends just because your are kind like that, you may end up i dunno, recieving a large amount of money or having really good health or something, i dunno, those are examples. but basically thats what it is.
so those guys that beat the crap of of jackie, a girl no less, will have bad karma. they'll probably end up in jail or beaten up worse, because of it, maybe not that specific incident, but because of all the bad they've done.
we all control our own destinies, karma just helps us out or makes it harder for us to reach our destinies based on the good and bad we do in our lives.
so because jackie defended her friend, something good should happen to her.
i hope that clarifyed things :)
so jackie has nothing to worry about. she should have good karma for helping her friend!
hope your healing up okay jackie! just a tip, banana skins are supossed to help bruises and stuff like that. a girl i know is a dancer and apparently she uses banana skins on the bruises, i dunno maybe you could try it, lol. good luck!
This message has been edited by Cselestyna on Apr 6, 2008 9:10 PM
Jackie - you were right the first time f### them all. The guy you were with was probably rude to you because he looked like a p##### (although from what you say he probably is!). Doesn't he have any guy mates to back him up? I had a male friend like this once, wherever we went there was always trouble because guys would show off to me by picking on him and it was always me who got the argument because he couldn't stand up for himself. At the end of the day if 3 of them need to get together to beat up a girl then they're not exactly hard themselves are they! Obviously the temptation is to get your mates to properly hospitalise them all or set fire to their cars or something but just try to leave it. Their behaviour says more about them than you, although to a certain extent most men think that if a girl acts like man than she deserves to get treated like one. Funny, where I live is pretty rough but hitting a girl is the one thing that is not done, like strangers would back you up if it happened. I love all the badboy stuff too and I know it's boring but just concentrate on your school work and get better paid than any of them. Now I wear the Muslim outfit I get a few comments, usually from men and almost always when they're in a group and I'm on my own, I really must cut back on swearing back at them - think I have anger management issues! But the point I'm making is that I can go home happy knowing that in all probability I have a better job than them, a better house than them etc so who gives a s### for a few words in the street. Also you can bet that they'd keep their mouths shut if I was in a group or if it was in my own predominantly Muslim area. Don't hide your face indoors, get out and have fun and try not to pick the scabs. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your mate may be too ashamed however to talk to you as you're clearly more of a man than he is! Is he worth trying to make up with or do you want to leave him to his own devices? Hope you punched the guy good!
Ohhh haha Hopeful it's not so terrifying to me. Embarrassing more so. I am just wayyyy used to seeing fights and being in them. I just feel like crap because I was great friends with them. Well, the people that lived there... but those guys are always going to be there so I really can't take a chance. I just wanna go back and destroy them or something. It's so hard not to. I know I will see them [not intentionally] one of these days. Hmmmph. But until THEN... I need time to heal. I can't even bend my legs or shower. Eeeek!
Ugh BUT I KNOW. I get that a lot too. The whole "anti-social/mute" comment. That's why I like to get a bit intoxicated BEFORE I go out to certain parties or places because it opens me up more. Kinda' upsetting actually. I don't know how long I can do that for, lol. But thanks :]
May-
Thanks for the info! Haha I'm going to need a crap load more of bananas for this ordeal then. Haha.
Yeah, and from the looks of those mean guys and their lifestyles... I'm sure they'll end up in jail in no time [hopefully] :]
Does anyone believe in Karma? Like religiously. Because it seems too fake to be true. But there has been times that it seems that Karma 'caused such things.
I got my camera stolen from one of my old friends 3 months ago, and like exactly a day in a 1/2 later he went to jail and he's going to be in there for 5 years now. Some drug deal with a cop or something. I don't know if it's got to do with "Karma" though, with me that is, haha. Just a thought. Anyone's thoughts on the beliefs of it...?
Yeahh yeah he definitely has friends. A lot. Just not at that party. I brought him there with two of my girl friends. And no one was about to stand up for him when he's 1/2 everyone's weight and height. They are just a bunch of pussies.
But you're right about not giving a fvck about what people think. It'd be a lot easier to do so if a lot of my friends [or people in this area in general] didn't act like a bunch of idiotic high schoolers and 'cause drama about everything. Or maybe if I had a job and finished school :/
It gets really stressful.
Especially when these rumours start coming around back to me that I got my arse beat. So pathetic. I just can't wait to get over this. I really am thinking about moving out of this state/country though because I can't take it here, it's too depressing and the crowd I hang out with is just sad and pathetic.
What is your nationality? Do people ever say anything to your face? That would just piss me off and I would use my profanity all I wanted at them haha.
I'm white English, and yeah they say it to my face and yeah I swear right back at them, what I meant is I really should be careful about getting into a fight with random people and I'm such a chilled out person but one rude word from a stranger and I can't help myself. What really makes me mad is that I am in my own country and I'll wear what I damn well like. Personally I don't belive in karma at all. Come to London!
Right on!
I've always wanted to visit the UK but I hear everyone there are pretty much dicks. I don't mind that, I'm pretty sure my country [the states] are just as bad. I just hate getting familiar with UNfamiliar places. Haha.
East London is the best place on Earth, it's just when you start to get out into Essex.....most people are ok though, better than I expected but like you I pretty much fail to care. Really let me know if you're coming over, it would be well worth taking a day off work to see what you're like in person! Not sure you'd get past customs!
bah (no login)
wrong may
April 6 2008, 10:43 PM
that is instant karma, a western bastardization of the real concept. karma supposedly happens over the course of many lifetimes. you may never pay for what you did in this lifetime DURING this life. to say that someone hits another person so they'll get hit is a completely uninformed take on karma.
May - I do know what karma is, I tried to connect its concept to concepts like feelings of self-worth, guilt, being determined with our past actions, ''ghost from the past haunting us'' if you will.
Jackie - Tho in that situation it was kinda thoguhtless, it's a noble thing to stick up for your frinds. But the male ego definitely works in a way that would make a guy embarrased to the point of mortified if a girl had to fight for him. To guys, their competence and prowess are extremely important. They're expected to meet up to the role of the male gender as being the protectors, the providers, like women on the other hand are as being the caretakers, and these gender roles are very deeply rooted in humans' sociology, psychology and not least even biology. It doesn't justify your frind's lack of gratitude, but it does explain it. It's one of the things men and women are so different in that it causes conflicts.
Anyway, it seems you have a conflict of ineterests in liking to fight, but certainly not liking getting beaten up (who does!). I think we can solve such conflicts by really concentrating to think about them, about our wishes and thoguhts and feelings, really analysing them. Because the subconscious mind is a bitch, practically completely out of our control, doing whatever it wants - untill we catch doing it.
About first impressions, I don't think anyone makes the right first impression, because I don't think anyone can read first impressions correctly, because of the simple fact that a first impression is 1 piece information about a person and that just isn't enoguh to make a correct judgement. Sooner or later we learn with experience that we can't judge people based on first impressions. Tho it is an instinctive ''mistake'' many people continue making and parhaps on a more or less unconscious level we all still do ita bit, but people who learn from their experience and use their reason know that first impressions are almost always wrong.
PS - Sorry if i'm annoying anyone with my constant theorising, unsolicited advice and ranting, the thing is I'm kinda fascinated with this people psychology stuff so I can't stop myself from rambling about it. :p
This message has been edited by -Moon- on Apr 6, 2008 11:11 PM
Oh I'll let you know. What is there to do down in East London? If I'm going to end up living there then I hope there are a lot of jobs available. Hopeful!! You can come too !! haha.
Moon-
That makes total sense, everything you just said. And it's kind of weird reading it. But no I like reading about Psychology stuff, it's interesting.
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 8, 2008 2:27 AM
This whole planned parenthood conversation is ticking me off!! Seriously these type of places need to be put out of business!! It is just not fair for someone to murder an innocent little baby! I would like to mention that if any of you are planning on getting an abortion or whatever...you really need to think this kind of stuff through. I mean, I know alot about this kind of stuff from a friend who has went through the nursing program. If you get an abortion you have higher risk of getting cervical cancer. Also if you plan on having a family someday when you meet the right man. If you do have an abortion earlier in life later on in life you may not be able to give birth. The baby is baby the minute you conceive. The baby's visible heartbeat can be seen within 2 weeks! I think that is so awesome! So, Jackie if you are pregnant. You should go through the pregnancy and if you don't want the baby put him/her up for adoption there are so many couples out there that would love to have a baby but are not able to conceive. I didn't mean to start a huge debate I just wanted to state my opinion. I can't stand planned parenthood and I would never donate diddly squat to keep them going. It is people like them that make young girls think that "oh I can have sex and if I do get pregnant it's ok I can just 'get rid of it'" and they don't even think through what such a procedure can do to their bodies in the long run. So, please think things through and save the babies before saving the whales. Think about it who deserves to live more? The baby or the whale? The Baby...because the baby is human and has a soul!
CuteLittleBunnie, I have always enjoyed your helpful posts however this one I do not agree with. You cannot say abortion=cancer, infertility problems, etc as facts. Because the truth is there is lots of evidence from both sides, so you may or may not be correct. Just as I'm sure you can bring up women who have had troubles after an abortion I can point out many women who have gone on to have a number of children. Planned parenthood provieds many wonderful services BESIDES abortions, services that will actually keep FUTURE abortions from even happening so you should totally not be hating on them at all! They are tryign to spread info and give awareness to young people everywhere so this doesn't keep happening!
Also, there is a big difference between careless young women who get a hundred abortions and one woman who made a mistake, was taken advtage of, lied to, or even raped. these women deserve the right to DECIDE what happens to their own bodies. What if a 14 year old girl was raped by her uncle, would you tell that girl that after all the suffering she has been through that she now has to stop her education (even temporairly) as well as her happy young life to have a baby from some awful situation? There are millions of kids already without homes who are sufferng around the world so do not give that bull crap that you can just put them up for adoption because you saw the movie Juno. The truth of the matter is, the foster care system and adoptions are not as successful as people like to believe they are. So why bring another kid into those circumstances?
While surgical abortions are more extreme and certainly have their risks, when recognized early enough medical abortions have been proved to be very safe compared to sugrical ones, and can be done very early on. As well, if we outlaw abortions do you really think they are going to stop? there will just be more cases of women dying from tryin to do abortions at home or at unprofessional underground clinics.
Honestly, I have done so much debating over abortions throughout my school years and I do not wish to revist the many issues at hand as I can debate in FAVOR of a woman's right to choose for hours on end.
So I say we just drop this debate right now. CuteLittleBunnie made arguments against abortion, I threw some of the top of my head for abortion and let's leave it at that. So let's just let those all support our many views as knowledgable women and leave it at that.
Most likely Jackie is not even pregnant and in case you have been reading her posts she is going through a VERY hard time right now for unrelated issues so I'm sure she does not want to go and hear some lecturing about her decisions right now. It would be ncie if you could have at least thrown some nice words her way after all she has been through instead of being preoccupied with planned parenthood, a group trying to make the world better place for everyone through safe sex practices and so forth.
EDIT: One more thing, this debate is not baby vs whales so I don't know why you are even comparing such a thing. You're saying only its only important to keep producing babies but screw other wordly creatures lives? Oh and don't go thinking I'm some crazed baby hater either, I can't wait to have kids someday when I am READY, and I watch shows like john and kate + 8, look at baby items in stores, admire pregnant women, etc
Thanks, good luck ladies, no hard feelings and I will bite my tongue and refuse to reply should anyone try to get me started again on this topic in this thread, okay?
back to boobie talk ;)
This message has been edited by Hopeful88 on Apr 8, 2008 7:10 AM This message has been edited by Hopeful88 on Apr 8, 2008 5:57 AM This message has been edited by Hopeful88 on Apr 8, 2008 5:52 AM
Not to be disrespectful cutelittlebunnie-
But I think it would be more terrible to have the child grow up having to deal with thinking he/she was a mistake and obviously, not have a father. A supporting one that is... hence that guy I unfortunately had sex with, was a dick.
Although I think that is extremely wrong to go unprotectedly just because you think you can fall back on abortions, but it should be there for girls who had mistakes and who don't have the money to take care of one.
Come on now, how could anyone in their right mind actually go through a 9 month pregnancy and give their own child up after all they suffered? Unless money was absent for abortion. But I know I wouldn't.
I just have had some friends who went through pregnancy at a young age and ending up keeping them, and from the looks of it. I could pass... they all dropped out of school and live off their parents... still. Sorry but I'm just not ready for that :/
I would like to wait until I am in love with someone.
Cutelittlebunnie, I'm very against abortions too and one of the three people I know who've had one got endometriosis from it and has had 8 laparoscopys since and a lot of pain - I'm not sure if she's infertile as you don't know until you actually try for another baby but it's not the quick fix people seem to think and that's without the ethics.
Hopeful, I agree there is the rare occasion where abortion is acceptable (as will most other anti-abortion people) but I think it's important we keep it as a medical procedure not a lifestyle choice.
At the end of the day if you're old enough to get pregnant you're old enough to learn some responsibility and make the most of it. I did take the possibility of pregnancy into account when I first started sleeping with my ex (even though I was on the pill) and I would definitely have dropped out of college and kept the baby.
I do apologize if what I said was hurtful. I just saw the planned parenthood title and flipped out. Anyways, I do hope you are not pregnant. I do practice abstinence so I don't really take the whole "I could get pregnant or oh my goodness did I just get pregnant?" into consideration. I am sorry that the guy was such a jerk. I will keep you in my prayers. So, if things turn out that you are pregnant would you keep him/her? I mean, there are great guys out there that would love to be a daddy to that child. The ones who don't want to are jerks and not worth my time (in my opinion) So, how are things going today?
Hopeful, I love animals. But, if it came down to it I would choose the baby over the animal.
Louise, I know someone who had an abortion in the past and she had cervical cancer after she did it like maybe a year later. I am not positive but it's my take on it that that is how she ended up with cervical cancer. She is able to have a baby though. She got married to my cousin and she was told by the doctor that she had 10% of getting pregnant and now she is 2 months pregnant!:o)
Oh no it's alright :]
I just don't want to feel like a 12 year old unknowledgable slut, I know the possibilties of having unprotected sex but I really didn't realize he took of the condom until we were practically done. He's actually still harrassing me with phone calls and IMs, "OH you know you had fun let's do it again".... EW !!
But yeah, if I was a little bit more grown up and settled down I would consider keeping him/her as a child. But I am kind of seeing someone now that I may think about spending my life with, we're pretty in love... it's hard to explain. But... I told him about the incident with that *** **** guy. It was a huge mistake that he accepts, hard for him to of, but he did. I told him also that I could possibly be pregnant and he just said if I was that we were "over and done". Which hurts. I would want him to help me, I don't know. It's normal though I guess? I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't want to deal with a girl having a baby or being pregnant in that case. Hmmmph. That's just a scary thought. You know how guys are ! Haha, he's like, 24 I'm sure he wouldn't want that unless it were his own.
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 9, 2008 1:27 PM
To Hopeful88: Just wondering, I saw your messages about you and your boyfriend wanted to move to the UK from Canada. I live in Ontario too. You seem to be a nice and intelligent person with European heritage, and we are of the same age, so, I just got interested to hear more about you. :)
Lets say for a minute that you did get pregnant and he said, "we are over and done" what would your response be? That guy doesn't sound grown up enough for being 24. I am 24 and I am like mature on a 25-26 year old level. The way I see it and this is just my opinion so I ask that people don't jump all over me because of it. I would drop the guy and say, well, it's your loss and you obviously don't love me as much as you said you did. Would you be the same way or is it just me?
CuteLittleBunnie, in this case I do agree with you. Not to hurt your feelings Jackie, but if a guy said that he would get up and leave me so openly like that his feelings couldn't possibly be deep. I know no guy would be thrilled really about taking on some other guy's baby but I don't know... don't quite think he is "the one" if you know what I mean dear. Good luck, hope you are doing better!
I am quite new to Canada, actually, studying here at university. I find it to be quite an interesting country with lots of positive things (Canadian wildlife and surroundings are just amazing) and some negative, of course. So, whether I move to Europe afterwards I don't know yet, may depend on the opportunities I will have for my professional realization after school, hehe. But if I decide to move, there is a high possibility that it'll be the UK- I don't speak other languages, unfortunately. And what makes you want to leave Canada?
you guys live in CANADA?! whoo hoo! i thought i was the ONLY one! i live in alberta thoguh, crummy high costs of living! lol. you guys want to leave canada? awwww. lolz.
I know I told him off yesterday and said he was wasting my time and he kept apologizing to me. I don't care though, I totally erased him out of my life. I can't ruin my life now I'm only 18. Because of some stupid guy. Ugh, thanks for all the advice guys.
Come on people! Don't you think the guy is justified to dump a girl if she gets pregnant with someone else's baby?!?!?! Surely to accept that would be going above and beyond. I don't think you'd want a man who'd put up with that!
It depends if he was with her before, and she got pregnan while dating him but with another guy than yes it is justified to dump her.
But from my understanding, you started dating this guy after said incident happened with the other guy right? In which case I would think he should be a little more supportive than just dumping her if has genuine interests and is good natured...
Well me and that guy I am now dating were "talking" before that incident happened with the dick. And we liked eachother. But we weren't actually "official". I don't know if that still counts haha.
Just to let you guys all know. I'm not pregnant because I got my period yesterday morning. Just to clear everything up. Sorry for causing stupid drama about abortions and morning after pills and everything :/
But also thanks for helping hehe
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 13, 2008 8:28 PM
Flatchested girls worldwide breathe a sigh of relief!
Jackie - your job now is to mark the day you got your period on a calendar as Cycle Day 1, then number each day consecutively until you start your next period which is Day 1 of your next cycle. The length of time between these two dates is the length of your cycle with the beginning of the luteal phase about halfway through (there's more info on this in the reference section - I think by Waxingmoon). You then record your cycle as how long / how many days you bleed e.g. when I wasn't on the pill my cycle was approximately 35/10 compared to now I'm on thi pill it's 28/7 which is more normal. I think average is about 28/5 but it's really variable. Have fun!
Yup I agree with Louise, definitely start keeping track of things. I just do it so I know when to expect it, sometimes I even try write down when I felt cramping + other girly symptoms throughout the month so I have a better idea of whats going on in my body :)
Ahh okay this is going to be the first time I do this. So it will be a bit confusing. Time that I got it doesn't matter right?
Ohkay, Saturday April 12th I got it.
Now you just have to note when you finish bleeding, and then again when you start you period next month.
Are you pretty regular? I never really knew when to expect mine just that I had a good 4-5 weeks in between each time, now I'm on the pill I only have 3 weeks between so it's like I've got my period every other week!
I'm not EXACTLY sure because I never really kept track like I said.
Ohkay so which day would I count as I "stopped bleeding"... I stopped last night at like 2300. But I bled all day yesterday. Oh that sounds lovely, haha. Eek!
Anyway SO no blood today. So does that mean I stopped yesterday or today?
This message has been edited by classyfashh on Apr 17, 2008 7:13 AM
So count yesterday as bleeding - how many days from when you started, including yesterday? E.g. if you started on Friday night and found no blood on Wednesday then it's 5 days.
