This is a general question about accepting our breasts. Why do you thinks it's so hard? Like most people, I believe that society does send a message about ideal body types. In Rubenesque times, fat was in, with chubby, small-breasted women being sought after. A trend seems to appear that society wants a body type that the wealthy have obtained (in this day it's tanned, thin, large breasts). In other times (and today in certain parts of the world), tanned bodies with pale hair were considered ugly because working people had tan skin with hair bleached by the sun.
I accept responsibility for choosing to buy into these messages though. I also choose to accept responsibility for buying into the insults of other women (it makes sense. i'm pretty and smart but i don't have large breasts, so that's all they had to pick on me about). I didn't want to do it but over the years I've given in. If men didn't like us we'd have been weeded out of the gene pool by now. Obviously, we are sexy too. Our smaller breasts only make us look more youthful (in my opinion). If the argument for big breasts is that they display fertility, I can make an argument that they can signal a woman's body has already been 'used up' by having some other man's baby. I can make an argument that small breasts are biologically attractive because of this and that they signal youth. Studies can be biased, and people can make arguments for what they want to see, me included.
Why was it so hard to resist the claims of society and others when I know deep down we are all beautiful, including me? Is it an underlying self esteem issue? Sometimes I wonder if I will really fix what's hurting by trying to increase this part of my body. Sometimes I wonder what it is that I really want. However, I'm still convinced that I can increase confidence by working on my body. Does anyone else besides me sometimes feel torn in two different directions in these regards?
more natural breasts http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
By the way, I don't mean to offend with my comment about a woman being 'used up.' I don't feel that way. But I was making a point that if someone can insult a body type by insinuating that it is not biologically attractive, that it can work both ways. That's all. I think motherhood is beautiful.
Wow. "This is a general question about accepting our breasts". Boil it all down, and you're basically pondering the mystery of true happiness--on a breast forum of all places-lol!! That's how I'm hearing you, anyway:)
Currently, I am a woman that yearns for a more "acceptable" figure most days, while simultaneously sharing that same innate sense of true contentment.I was drawn to the well-being aspects of NBE. Being more in tune with your cycles, eating well, sleeping, managing stress...
So, yes, exterior attractiveness is partially based on cultural standards.Why do these standards exist? Why do we want to conform?
The first question is certainly interesting.I'm also not sure I buy larger breasts=fecundity/ nourishment/ species survival thing, though I think it's certainly a plausible aspect. Through various time periods and cultures, human beings are repeatedly drawn to create perceptions of how the physical world should be experienced and ordered. It seems we seek out innumerable ways to create a sense of belonging, of "home".
Regarding conformity, I do know most people want to be accepted, they want to be liked and loved, ultimately, they are seeking "happiness". Will larger breasts, or a different environment (or whatever "new and improved" thing desired at the moment)give me true happiness? Deep down, I know the answer is no.
What is true happiness? To me, it is contentment, or more accurately, acceptance with what is in the moment.
While I've had windows of clarity on this, I struggle with wanting to improve what I have, thanks to the generations of physical "home seekers". I am a mother, a lover, a householder. I am, for now, very much an active participant in this imagined culture. I'm not enlightened enough to shed all of these perceptions. But I hope that someday, I will find myself free of these distractions. In the meantime, I'm willing to work on improving something negative in my life, if I feel it may help me focus my energy on more important things.
The key for me is to pursue the desired goal with acceptance. Acceptance is also not having attachment to an outcome. If I reach my goal, I will reflect on it. I will ask myself why it makes me feel the way I feel. Would I do it again? Even if the goal is misguided, if I can reflect on the experience, I hope to come closer to the meaning of true happiness.
Anyway, I've been long-winded and responded to your questions with more questions, lol! I hope any of it may be helpful in some small way. I think it's great you're asking these things.
May you find all your answers and more,
Durga
This message has been edited by durga on Jul 25, 2008 10:14 AM
Hey, nobody said that small breasts are not sexy! Breasts are sexy, period! And I don't think many of the women in this forum have low self-esteem, think they're ugly, and don't accept themselves. Many may have started that way, but our journey into NBE made us grow more mature and love ourselves more. I don't think you have any idea how much effort, patience, and persistence NBE takes. And in case you have not noticed, not all women in this forum want big breasts. There are many women here who aim for only A or B cups.
I'm not doing my NBE mainly to please men. Sure, that's part of it, but the principal reason I have now for doing NBE is because, in my opinion, I'd look so much better with bigger and even-sized breasts. Accepting yourself for who you are including your small breasts is admirable. My way of accepting myself for who I am is to ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I LIKE BIGGER BREASTS AND I WOULD LIKE THEM ON ME. That's the truth. That's the way I am. I have always admired ample breasts on women since I was a kid. I think they're beautiful and very feminine. And I think that they invite more attention and touch than smaller ones do. At least, that's how they appeal to me. Then one day - voila! - I learned that I can have the breasts I have always wanted in a natural way with minimal negative side effects and lots of benefits. So why not?
NBE is not mainly a thing of vanity. Because of NBE, I have become more conscious about my lifestyle and eating habits. My journey into NBE has led me to other natural methods of caring for my health. It made me more inerested not just in my outward appearance, but also in my overall health and energy levels. I now care about what's in the food I eat and whether it's going to do my body harm or good. I now exercise regularly, take time to rest, try to get enough sleep, take time to de-stress, make sure I get all the nutrients I need, and choose natural and organic as much as possible. And it all started with NBE! LOL! How's that? And I am excited about all the other things I will learn for the rest of my NBE journey. :)
damn i hear you bianca, i feel the same way!
I am definitely doing this in vain and i myself have given into the pressures of having more than flat breasts. I mean look around, all the clothes are designed for women with breasts and for some reason they look ridiculous on me unless i wear padded bras lol. I just think people are used to seeing women with breasts and whenever you see one that is not too busty, it's considered a rarity and some people just like to poke fun at that.
I can definitely say I am confident, I can choose to take that step and cut the padded bras and be all natural, but i chose the other way, because i want to feel better by knowing that I don't look like a complete 12 year old.
Either way you cut the cake, we are all doing this in vain, everyone has weaknesses. It's one thing to loose weight because you are unhealthily overweight, or to put on weight because you are underweight, but when you want bigger breasts, bigger butt, you name it, it becomes superficial.
I think as long as deep inside you are honest with yourself and you are confident even knowing that if NBE never existed you would still be ok, accept yourself, be happy and move on and not run off to get breast implants.
I'm doing this because i have that option.
This message has been edited by double_ace on Jul 25, 2008 10:14 PM
"Okay, I did not understand what Ms. Bianca meant in her last post. Will somebody please explain?"
lol... think it was because you assumed she didn't know anything about NBE with that comment you made, for all we know she could have been doing NBE longer than you have ;-), also that comment had little to do w/ the point she was trying to make in her first post.
" I don't think you have any idea how much effort, patience, and persistence NBE takes. "
I think it's good to pose these sorts of questions now and then and I have reflected on this sort of question myself. Sure, I've only been doing NBE for a short while and haven't seen much improvement (and I know not to expect to, at this point) and while I won't give up yet, I'm also of the mind set that it would be nice if it did work because I too admire larger breasts (I think they're beautiful and sexy) and think it would balance out my rather prominent hip/bum frame. I've always loved hourglass figures.
People through-out history, regardless of of ethnicity or culture, have found ways of adornment (tribal tattoos, piercing, henna, etc) to enhancement the way they look. So ultimately it is about improving on what one has and I think it can be done in a healthy way (i.e. as long as one doesn't obsess over it and become so anguished if it doesn't help them achieve a sense of happiness about themselves.) But at the same time, are we giving in to society's pressures of trying to be beautiful? I doubt many people in large urban areas can escape that but I think self-acceptance happens more as we mature. Doubt the pressure to look beautiful (however we define that) is a new trend. And honestly, I've had conversations with my nearly 50 year old mother and aunt and asked if women were so overly sexed-up in the media as they are today (they both said it was starting to happen in the 70's). Some people don't think that people (especially young people) are affected by what is advertised in their faces every single day but they're just not thinking about it. Young girls I think, are pretty susceptible to negative images of how women should be: Look at all of the gorgeous, under-dressed women in rap videos and in clothing ads? How many women could possibly hope to look like that and even if you could, would you really want all kinds of men - creepy and not - ogling you all the time. But that's the message - women should look hot and gorgeous or else you're totally not worth noticing.
These are all good points. I need to keep remembering that I can still do things for myself. Even if it happens to coincide with what society says is beautiful, I am still allowed to have my own individual desire for it, apart from them. It goes along with having a sense of self. It can be a very positive thing.
And yes, my last quote said 'please' because I felt that my original post might have been misinterpreted, and because of the implication that I have no idea about the patience of this. I happen to be an extremely patient person, to the point where I have spent months researching NBE *before even starting a program.* I also work with small children on a daily basis. I think that I have enough patience to do this.
Oh, okay. I included that line in my comment because I got the impression from your post that you were saying NBE is something only the vain and immature embark on. I only wanted to say that NBE isn't for people like that. Anyway, it's good that you have patience for the potentially long process NBE will be. I wanted to give up when I was three months into it because I did not see any results. But I persisted on and I did not regret it! I used to get comments on how small my breasts were before I started NBE. Now, all I hear from other people is that my breasts look great and that they wish they had my pair! LOL. I'm loving it!
