Hi everyone hope you are all well. Im having a hard time at the moment with one of my male friends, he is making me feel very uncomfortable, hes never been a close friend but he is always around and he has recently started being very pervey towards me, he is always stairing at my chest and he makes silly little comments, he even walked in on me getting changed round a friends house and it was a horrible situation, i have spoke to him and my best friend has aswell, because im getting worried as he has a bad reputation and he is a very big man and im scared he will do something, i dont know how to handle this situation atall, i dont think id be able to fight this guy off if worse comes to worse and he has already groped me when i was drunk a couple of days ago. Ive never had to think or worry about anything like this before but i now feel so vunrable and quite scared. Thanks everyone xxxx

I'm sorry you are in such an uncomfortable situation. Beautiful breasts obviously can also have some negative effect.

As you and your friend have already talked to him, my only advice would be to avoid him whenever possible. But I guess you're doing that already to a certain extent.

Hi Cheryl,

What a horrible situation. You need to take some self defense classes. You should not have to live in fear of some guy raping you. If you learn some self defense moves it won't matter how big the guy is, you can effectively neutralize his advances.

In the mean time:

1. Never be alone with this man. Do not drink around this guy. When you are drunk he will take advantage of you.

2. Get some mace or a stun gun and learn how to use it. Be willing to defend yourself however you must.

3. If he assaults you report him to the police. I am not just talking about rape - even groping you is assault. You can't be drunk though - that always messes with defense cases.

Wear modest clothing when you are out and about. It is fine that you have this womanly body now but it is going to play havoc on some guys minds. They will think you are fair game for them to get off on.

As soon as you can -take a self defense class - You will feel a lot better once you do.

Best wishes,
waxingmoon

Thanks everyone, i have never been in a situation like this and i am very scared, im worried im over reacting to it all or maybe ive done something to lead him on, may be when i was drunk, either way its a horrible feeling. I avoid him as much as possible but he has the same circle of friends i do and in the past he has been a distant friend to me, someone i would meet at a bar and chat and have drinks with, he has shown alot of interest in what i have done with NBE and to start with it seemed like genuine interest, but as time has gone on he has become very pervey and groping my breast on tuesday has really made me worry, i have lost alot of weight recently due to exercise and healthy eating and unfortunatly i have lost muscle mass aswell and i really feel unable to defend myself like i could before all the changes i have gone through, so maybe self defence classes may help me or atleast give me confidence to defend myself if need be. Im just overwhelmed with how i feel at the moment and the genuine feeling of being defenceless against this man, i never even considered anything like this when i began my NBE its a sobering experience. xxxx

Hi everyone, im so angry this guy is really starting to scare me, every where i go with my friends hes there or he turns up, and its getting to a stage where i dont want to go out, and if i do im so conscious of being myself as i feel him watching me, most of my friends are scared of him and wont get envolved too much and i totaly understand that, i really dont know what to do. I dont even want to drink anymore as im afraid he could do something. I cant call the cops as he has not done anything other than being pervey and obnoxious, and to be honest im not sure the cops would take me serious because im a man, all be it a very feminine man with boobs. I really dont know what to do about this im so down everyone. xxxx

I am so sorry you are going thru this. no one should have to be afraid to go out, be with friends and have fun. If everyone is afriad of this guy then why are they still hanging out with him? I hate guys who are pushy and use their strength to intimidate!!!

I thing defense classes are a very smart idea!! Everyone should take them! If i knew who he was i'd kick his ass!!!!!!!

Has he said anything to you or is he just touching you inappropiately? What does he say when you tell him to please leave you alone? Does he do it in front of others? And what are they saying about it? Has anyone approached him about it?

i know lot of questions...sorry ....I am just trying to maybe understand what this guy is up to. Maybe its his way of feeling superior to you or to look like he is a big man in front of his buddies...who knows what motivates jerks like him.

I will pray for you!!!!
Laisegirl

Hi Laisegirl thanks for responding, none of my friends like this guy much but he just turns up and most of my friends are scared of him, he has been in prison twice for assault but alot of my friends have knowne this guy for years and i know some of them feel sorry for him. He is always asking me to get my boobs out in front of everyone and he has come up behind me and just grabbed my boobs which discusted me and he also undoes my bra and has done this about 4 times now. He is always looking at me and he trys to get close to me whenever he can, he has also grabbed my ass a couple of times. I have told him to stay away from me or i will call the cops but he takes no notice and treats it all like a joke. But its not a joke for me i am discusted with him and i am so scared and worried. I am a strong minded person and i have never been bullied but this is something so different to anything i have been through before and im having trouble handling it. 2 of my best friends have had words with him but he says its just harmless and i should expect abit of teasing for the way i am now, my best friend actually slapped him and he raised his hand to her and now shes also scared. I dont know why he seems obsessed with me or what he really wants from me, or maybe it is just a horrible game to him to keep him amused but i am really hurting and i do feel like a piece of meat to him. Sorry everyone to go on so much about this and i know its not exactly on topic so im so sorry but im lost and really dont know what to do, i have even thought about playing this guy at his own game and try and make him embarrased and degraded, but i dont think it would work or if i could do it. Thanks Laisegirl. xxxx

Maybe you should give the police a try, get a restraining order or something. Because this really sounds very scary, it really sounds to me like he might try to hurt you. Guys like this won't listen to "stop." And geez, he's already been in jail twice for assault? You should go buy some mace and make sure you are not alone when going places, make sure people know where you are, where you are going, and when you will be there, so they know to check up with you. In the meantime try the police, and emphasise this guy has already been in jail before. I think you said above some of your friends feel sorry for him for whatever reason? But, he has crossed the line, and your safety is the number one important thing, and this guy sounds messed up in the head. You and your friends need to (all together) make it clear he isn't welcome to do as he pleases. Stay Safe. Let us know how you are ok? I think we're all concerned for you, and want to know your well.

Hi Miss Goldenweek, thank you for your advice and concern. This guy is making my life a misery at the moment, and i havent been out for a few days. I dont know what im going to do to be honest, i will try to avoid him whenever possible because i am scared but i cant call the police as he has not actually done anything, he has groped me but i was drunk and i honestly do not believe the police will take me seriously. I will have to try and think of away to deal with this myself as there is no way im going to let a creep like this dictate my life and what i do in it, just because i have breasts and i look very feminine but i am a man does not give him the right to touch me or treat me like he does. Thank you all for your advice it means alot to me. xxxx

I'm going to speak to you as someone that's been there done that. A victim, as some would call it. I've always said I must have an invisible stamp on my forhead saying all pervs apply within. Because if they're out there, I've met them and not by choice! I lost count years ago at how many times I've been flashed,got obscene phone calls ect. I even once had a guy drop his pants in a pharmors and begin jerking off! I was only 17 then. The irony of it all is I was a girl that as a teen couldn't get a date, but I sure as heck could catch the attention of these guys. I later came to realize part of it was my attituide, how I carried myself. I didn't have self confidence and it definately made me look like an easy target. I guess that came from having been a victim of abuse as a child.

The worse part of what these guys do to us is make us feel helpless, because we have no control over what they are going to do. That alone I think is the biggest trauma of these types of things, feeling like you are not in control.

I think that with the changes you are going through, though you are thrilled they are occuring, social stigma may very well be causing you to not feel quite as secure in public, due to the worry of how people will react, who will and won't accept it and what it could change in every day life.Without even realizing it, you may be carrying yourself in a manner in public that says, "insecure" which is a red beacon for these idiots to see how much and how far they can get away with.

You have to find your self confidence, you have to stand tall and exude, "I'm not going to take your crap!"

I've read some of your post in the past and you seem like someone that is very caring and very sencere and probably doesn't want to hurt someones feelings or worried you are miss reading a situation and so don't speak up for fear of sounding stupid if you do. I've been there myself and the longer you don't speak up the further they try to take it. Feel good about yourself. Be proud of yourself and especially be proud of whats inside and show that to the world. Tell this guy he's making you uncomfortable to start with. If he doesn't back off then I hate to say it but be ugly about it. Maybe, just maybe if you're lucky, it's some kind of morbid fascination he's got going on. You know the things that you don't understand or have never seen before you become focused on.
And his version of dealing with it is coming off a little weird. We can only hope, BUT if it's more than that and the guy has real issues, then you have to stand up for yourself, distance yourself, or however you need to handle it.

Find your voice doll, no one should ever be made to feel the way this guy is making you feel. It's within you to take control of the situation and that's the first step to being okay. Who knows once you speak out, it may become easier and easier to do so. It did for me. I wanted to jump up on a stage and growl at the world and say, "Don't mess with me!" It was empowering, it was Healing, and it began me on a journey of complete joy because I wasn't afraid of who I was going to meet next. I realized, I ran the show when it came to my life and anyone in it was only there if I let them be.

Hi Itsjus4fun91, Thank you for your reply and your advice and im so sorry to hear about what you have been through in the past, no one should have to go through that but you sound like you have handled it very well and come out a strong person and that in itself deserves a big well done. I have been thinking about what you have said in your post and i have to admit i am quite self conscious of myself now when i am out. I was ok up until a couple of months ago but over the last couple of months i have changed alot, my breasts are quite large and are now impossible to hide and i have lost quite alot of weight which makes my curves stand out even more and while i am fine with this i must admit that i do feel more conscious of my body all the time, so i do stand and hold myself in a defensive way. I am proud of my breasts but because they are quite large now i always feel people are looking at them when i walk or do anything. I do wear female clothes alot when im with my friends but im finding myself wearing baggy clothes lately due to all this hassle from this creep. He might see me as weak and like you say an easy target for his twisted type of abuse but i have faced up to him and told him to leave me alone but he jokes and doesent take it seriously i really dont know what to do anymore. Thank you and i hope all goes well for you. xxxx

Cheryl------I don't care if you have made certain changes to your body and you look more feminine.That gives no one the right to treat another human being that way! He says that you should expect that **** just because you look more feminine?!!! You do not deserve to be treated that way!!!!

Look,Cheryl-----send his ass my way to Tennessee.I will take him down into a hollow and give him a Tennessee ass-whooping!!!! They don't call me country for nothing! I'm 5' of concrete----ask my 6',265 lb husband.

Seriously----like Laise said------Self-defense courses.Do call the police for advice.If they can't do anything,even though he has 2 assault charges,it is on record.After that,is all about survival and what's right is right.If you are EVER put in a position to defend yourself,by no fault of your own,then stand up,Cheryl.God,I detest dudes like him!

This is the 21st century,for cryin out loud! He sounds like a damn redneck bully.See----they're not only in Tennessee!

Cheryl----you have done NBE and you know all about positive will.Will his ass away from you! I hate to say it,but what comes around,goes around.That is the natural law of attraction of the universe.Boy,if he doesn't stop,payback will be a bitch.

Cheryl,I will think about you and send good thoughts about this your way.You will pull through this.Don't keep drinking when you see him.I know it's not fair,but it will be best.Better yet,pull a dry drunk and get his ass sloshed,then you will have control.Slip some damn NBE herbs in his drinks.HA! That's what he needs----the shoes on his feet.

It will all come out in the wash.

~~What you think about,you bring about~~

Mel C

I'm so sorry your "friend" is a terrible person, Cheryl. His treatment of you is not your fault. Even if someone takes self-defense courses or is a black belt martial artist, it is still NEVER their fault if they are assaulted. It is the fault of the person who decided to force their will upon another person. As others have said, avoidance is probably the best immediate step you can take. Make sure your friends know that you don't want this guy around and that if you are hanging out with them, he cannot be there because you feel very unsafe. As far as talking to police goes, that is up to you. You said he groped you recently, which is assault. Getting actual help from police or having this man charged with something would probably be difficult, since violence against women and transgendered women and men is always taken less seriously and has a ludicrously-high burden of proof upon the victim. Throw in patriarchal ideas about women "asking for it" by wearing certain clothes, being intoxicated, or not fighting back enough and you've got a pretty bad situation.

I hope this guy will be out of your life soon and you won't have to fear him anymore. Be well, Cheryl.

-Ellen

If you have male friends that you can trust advise them of this man.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your support and advice. This is a very hard time for me and its nice to have people to offer support to me on here even though i know this is a breast enlargement forum and not a support group lol so thank you so much. Im a little happier this week and i am hoping i have solved my problem with this creep. I have turned the tables on him by giving him what he wanted and embaressing him so much, i dont think he will be creeping around me or my friends any longer. This was a hard thing for me to do but i think it has worked and even though i have also been embarresed by this he has come of alot worse. So again thank you everyone.